| FuckThisI give up. My life is falling apart. And I sound cynical and melodramatic and I know it which makes this all worse. Nothing is going very well. I'm eating minimal amounts and working out everyday...but still...I am fat. My life. Is pathetic. The boy troubles : seem to be the easiest ones --> tell him to try a relationship or forget it (first I need to find him). 
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| FixMe?Fuck this. Everything was going wonderful. Well, better then what it has been. Hair Cut --> Took 3 hours and looks horrible great Ran home and binged (on salad and fruit ) but it felt bad Why are humans so cruel? Ate: Smoothie. Coconut Icie. Cup o Salad. Cup o Fruit. 2 pills. 2coffee. UPDATE(140cookies) (50popcorn) Repair: walked...ran (10mins)...bikedd (10mins) Pathetic but I was tired. 
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| Dumb BitchNOSE PEIRCED
Did not hurt whatsoever. I was in such a bad shitty mood. Failed a Chem and Math test...and I Do Not fail. Ever Damage : 1/4 cup of cashews (150) gross, but pure protien / oreo thing (44) / balsamic vinegar (5) / iced coffee (2) fruit salad (30) MakeUp : Took a break today ::: Diet pill (3) ::: crunches ::: leg lifts ::: WATER 0 period tommorow morning. Too early I miss my best friend; but I am starting to see I am better off. Take care of myself. Reinventing myself. 
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| Back to be Better; Control IssuesI am back. Breakdown back. And taking control. I can not believe how long I have stayed away. Everything was wonderful for me and i was happy.
For once in my life. Everything was going smoothly. Then it all falls apart. And who do I turn too? Update:
I've done more coke since the last post and want more
I'm addicted to cigarettes
Jan 25th - Lost my virginity
Gained a disgusting amount of weight (153) SICK AND EMBARRESED TO SAY THAT PATHETIC Gone: My best friend ::: All the guys in my life ::: The group of people I party with ::: My happiness ::: (Basically, my best friend threw a party at my house while i was away, lied about it, was manipulated by other people who I thought were my friends and just plain and simple fucked everything up.) Damage: Coffee (2) Vitimin Water (xxx) tiny asain ginger salad (1) oshinko (2) diet pill (2) Work Out - (280)gym /// crunches/weights 
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| Busy to HighAll of this past week I have been staying after school to work on my scene. It went up friday. Nerves. Now I have finals. Friday: J.'s house for party. Drunk. Headed over to the Knitting Factory for the 19 yr olds show. But this stupid friend, had a full bottle of Whiskey and they wouldn't let us in. So tight. Saterday: Sweet 16.
I Did Coke Ate nothing for 24 hours and did not notice. 
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