So i have a discourse for the evening that has been a long time in coming. It doesnt concern abortion, homosexuality, or any other hot-button issue. It is on friendship.
This post concerns close friendship, friendship as in two people who have known each other and shared expiriences for years, not someone whos name you learned last weekend. Let's start with a definition. Encarta Dictionary defines friendship, in terms of a relationship between two people, as
Friendship: the mutual feelings of trust and affection and the behavior that typify relationships between friends.
A friendship, as we can see, involves several things. Lets take them one at a time.
mutual feelings of trust
Friends trust each other. They do not lie to each other. They do not withhold things from each other. You trust your friend not to gossip about you behind your back, not to get angry with you without cause, and not to just stop associating with you out of the blue, and they expect the same things from you.
mutual feelings of affection
Friends love each other. They build each other up, make each other better people, and make each other feel good. A true friendship doesnt have to fake affection. Real friends dont have to go from day to day wondering if their "friend" is going to care for them, show them affection, etc. because friendship is affection.
Behavior that typifies relationships between friends
What kind of behavior comes to mind when you talk about friendship? Think about it. What have you come to expect from your friends? In general, you expect to talk to your friends. To associate with them on a regular basis. To stay updated on their lives and keep them informed with yours. You hang out with them, have fun with them, spend time with them, get to know them a little better. You live out your friendship everyday. After all, these are your travel companions in life.
There is behavior that does not typify friendship that you do not expect from a "friend." This includes the opposite of any of the above. Do you expect your friends to not talk to you? to not be interested in you or your life? to not want to have anything to do with you? to ignore you or be apathetic towards you? Of course not. That isnt friendship.
This begs the question, how do you know who your true friends are? Everyone gets ignored sometimes. Everyone feels like no one loves them. Everyone, at some point, feels strain and failure in their friendships. But when is this temporary and when is this permanent? When long time friends suddenly turn not-so-friendly, should you assume that they were never true friends in the first place, or that things are just strained? I believe time is the answer. Given time, true friendships right themselves, people apologize, things return to normal. But when things go downhill for months with no sign of going back up, you have to start wondering. Alexa said something in her xanga a few days ago that prompted this in my mind and perfectly described my feelings about friendship in general in my life.
Friendship is all about action and nothing about words. Someone can swear up and down all day long that they are your friend and say that every time you see them, but if their actions dont back that up, then fuck it. Setting free those you love, REALLY is the best way to find out if its going to last...How you make someone feel is very important in friendship. If they make you feel like they wouldnt support or stand up for you, then its a very good chance that they aren't. If they say hurtful things to your face and act like its a joke, chances are...they really think those things and dont care how you feel about it. Or how you feel at all in general...
I want, more than anything, to be an outstanding friend to all my friends and to have that friendship and love returned to me. The most painful thing i have expirienced in life so far is unreturned love, in both a romantic and friendship sense. So yeah. My attitude on friendship in my life is pretty bleak at the moment. Some of my most important friends seem to have bailed on me at the point in my life where i need their support and advice and love the most, and i do not know what to do. This might be my last entry on here for some time, unless some other philosophical subject piques my writing interest. Until then, love your friends  adios. | 
