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sharondanicest
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Name: S h a r o n
Country: Canada
State: Ontario
Gender: Female
Interests: Music. Playin piano, alto sax, guitar, drums. Reading. Playing basketball. Drama class. Watching movies. Thinking about making movies. Singing. Reading my Bible. Praying and spending time with God. Jazz. Swing. History. Native Americans. Irish and Ireland. Friends & Family. I guess you can say I'm very sentimental.
Expertise: Making faces, especially with my eyebrows and elvis lip. Laughing. Listening. Observing. Teaching. Talking.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  lilbskballgurl
MSN: carterrocks@hotmail.com
Yahoo:  basketball_rule_z@yahoo.ca
Member Since:
9/18/2004
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| MSNit's supposed to help us "communicate" better.
it's supposed to help us "connect".
but why is it that most miscommunications happen through msn???
whether it be by someone's msn name,
or msn status,
or personal msg,
or if you "fight" with someone through MSN ... how do you know if they're actually angry or not? or if it's still a joke or not?
one thing i know,
i'm just tired of it.
what ever happened to seeing people and talking to them in person anymore?
these days, everyone doesn't like approaching problems and solving them anymore.
everyone just likes to avoid.
sit behind their computers and hide behind that offline status,
and watch the world around them grow numb,
while their lazy ass sits && their lazy fingers don't do anything to solve the problem.
"The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of those that KNOW but don't do anything about it"
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| i don't need attention, it needs me.you may tend to hear me whine sometimes about everyone being "mean" to me ;
but if you actually observe , you can see it .
and everyone admits it too.
they say it's because i'm short .
thanks.
well before it used to really upset me cuz it gets tiring being picked on all the time ,
but I look at it this way... i'll take it cuz someone else wouldn't be able to.
no, really.
at least you guys are giving me attention and not ignoring me right ?
besides,
you all admit sooner or later that it's just because i'm so lovable 
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| i love friiiiiiidays :)oh man do i loveee fridays!!!
no work for ... the rest of the day & the nxt day.
...yay ?
haha.
i just got home from work right now ,
but i am too happy because it's friday to sleep ...
meh.
this might help me sleep r egularly for a day =p
anywho ~
facebook just "notified" me that i got "compared" and that now i am ranked higher in "who is more cuddly" but lower in " who is more reliable " and i couldn't help but think ... dry.
hahahahaha
anyway,
i lead worship in youth yesterday.
it was kinda embarassing but at the same time ,
it wasn't .
oh well,
i just keep thinking , that i'm doing it for God :)
i'm playing in The Basement at the end of the month ~ guess it's sort of like a gig . I think that's pretty cool :)
I really need to spend some time and practise though :S I don't want to embarass myself !!
Well, ta-ta! I shall go find other things to do on this Friday morning which i Loooove! :) <3
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| okay, i miss you.i'm starting to get callouses again because I haven't played guitar in a long time && I've begun to play again , so ... yay ?
i'm up So Early again today because of my messed up sleeping pattern but , what can you do? Oh wells.
I'm so glad that I have a capo now XD It's so much easier to like , sing in different keys and stuff, so praise Jesus! Thank You Lord!
And I alsooo just noticed that I haven't been singing as much as I used to  but i'm starting again, so w00t for that too!
I guess the fact that I'm leading worship & might be in The Basement triggered me to go back into it lol ... but anywhos,
i'm hungry.
oh yeah, that wasn't my point.
oh yes, here it is.
Two songs are stuck in my head right now ...
Love Like This - Natasha Bedingfield ft. Sean Kingston
&
Shattered - Kreesha Turner
And it makes me miss you more
I don't even know what to do about it , that's the thing! I feel like asking you ... what do you want me to do ? Just tell me. It seems like every single time I tried to fix it , you end up being mad at me and I honestly don't even know ...
I might have an idea ... but I'm really scared of assuming and hoping because well, my heart just might break.
So instead, I leave it hanging,on a thread so thin,and the longer we wait, the higher it rises,making the risk,higher and the anticipated breakmore overwhelming.
But it doesn't have to be this way.
I can hand it over to you,
and you can let it down,
gently,
put our feet back on the ground...
but that's where the problem lies you see...
I'm too afraid ...
God help me.
Lately,
I've tried not to talk about it.
Doesn't mean I don't think about it.
Sure, I think about it less than I used to ... back in those days when it seemed to be soooo good between us , I was so giddy and happy all the time ... oh man, I miss those days.
But deep down,
it's still there.
it's like an underlying buzz that reminds me from time to time,
that things aren't Just Right still ,
that something's bothering me,
something needs to be put back into place,
but I need your help.
I can't do it alone.
So I'm asking you...silently.
And pray to God your heart will hear me,
to step up and help me fix us.
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| Take Me Away To Better Daysmy life's kinda down atm = confusing , depressing and it seems like everything i thought would be is not as i planned at all.
i swear i'm not over not being in school right now ...
i miss it so much .
i want to be in University .
and stress about homework .
that's where i should be!!!
* sigh *
I guess there's a reason why I'm waiting still ...
I just need to trust that God has a plan...
just harder said than done ...
Sometimes it seems like things never work out for me =(
I guess I just feel singled out ...
I don't know how to explain it ...
but I guess I can't expect my life to be as everyone else's.
Because I'm not like everyone else.
Everyone is different, that's true.
But sometimes I guess I feel like I don't mind being part of that general crowd...
than feeling like being singled out every single time.
Am I being paranoid?
Mmm...
Well ~ I guess I am.
But, I'm ranting, so I have a right to be =)
Most of the time these analyzing sessions usually end up great or leaving me even more lower than before i started but i can't seem to help it.
So i'll keep going.
My spiritual journey is different than everyone else.
I learned certain lessons while I was in 9th - 10th grade , while everyone was too busy being oblivious and carefree being kids, I was all concerned about mine and everyone else's spiritual state... lmao, not that I was deprived of my childhood or anything, it's just ... different. Not that I regret it, but it just ... made me stand out I guess ; which is not necessarily a bad thing , but still .
School - wise , I didn't even have time to think about this part - because ever since my sister was going to Liberty ,all that I kept hearing for ME was the same ... and it wasn't until this year that made me think of the fact that I don't even know WHY i'm going there other than the fact that it's a Christian school ... or if the subjects I'm going to Major in while be good or whatnot ...
People - wise , I don't even know where to start . Honestly , I really care. I really do. My one tragic flaw ... I'm a bad communicator. Really . If there's something bothering me, I don't do anything about it . I let it slide, thinking that I've forgotten about it... but I think subconsciously, I hold a grudge. It's really not a good thing. Honestly. I feel like this is one area of my life I need to REALLY REALLY straighten out but I don't even know where to start. And it's pretty screwed up because there would be little things I'd hold a grudge on, and then big things that I"ll forget about - it's so unpredictable. And I know that I should just talk about it ... but I don't . I feel like this is one of the main reasons why the friends I don't talk to anymore ... is that way: i don't talk to them anymore. We stop talking and it turns awkward... and honestly, I'm a very sentimental person who cares a lot about friendship. I can take whatever crap this life throws at me as long as I have my friends... but , I mess it up with this communication business .
I wasn't even good at expressing how much I appreciate peopl until a couple of years ago ; because the people around me just weren't that kind of people ... we never hugged or said " i'm really glad you're my friend" until I met others who were like that , and my sisters' friends and i was like "wow..."
especially when there was a poem my older sister showed me from the Sword Scrapbook about people waiting to say nice things about their friends at funerals, but never when they're alive... like , how are they supposed to appreciate that when they're dead?
And relationship-wise , hahaha, it's just sad. So Sad. Sometimes I feel like it would just be Way Easier if we were back to being kids and cooties still existed, cuz honestly, i knew how to act back then... after that , I just seemed to ruin everything =p Cuz apparently I "play hard to get" which I would have to disagree with because Guys need to be more Clear if they're being Serious or Playing Around especially because I am really REALLY careful with my heart. REALLY . That's why I was kinda getting fed up with this part and I was like "ah screw it , i love the way it is right now " until it hit me. Haha, it's kind of funny how unexpected it was but I guess if you knew me for a while , you'd say that you saw it coming =p My friend Jesse and I were talking about subconscious truths the other week , and I think this is one of those situations where it applies. I guess you can say that I wasn't ready for it when it hit me. I think I put off thinking about it for those many years for a REASON but why NOW ? Why did I admit it this year ? I was having so much fun being free from these sentiments - cuz honestly, to me, usually, it's whatever. Whoever you are, it doesn't really matter, because I probably just met you and after you, there'll be others. That's why I'm good at playing it cool and letting things go, easier than others. Except when it comes to friendship. Especially those long ones. Where you hardly talk sometimes but when you do, it feels like nothing's changed. That's where it gets complicated and simpler at the same time. And that's why I can't describe or explain it to anyone, and that's why nobody but me can understand it, and why I feel singled out because nobody can really comfort me unless they know exactly what I mean, and have experienced exactly what I have experienced .
Most people aren't very good at platonic relationships , because they always look at the opposite sex as a potential ; which is where my strength and weakness is I guess, because I am so the opposite of that. I don't do it at all, which is what people are kinda weird about. But whatever. which kinda leads back to the previous paragraph about why it's so hard for me to get over this one thing because it's different from everything else.
Anyway,
I don't know how to conlcude sucha random rambling entry but I like being myself. I wouldn't change for anything. I like the fact that I laugh too much and cry too easily, and make friends really fast. I like the fact that my friends can depend on me to understand and that I've found friends who would be there for me no matter what, and that I've adopted some of them as family.
It's just that sometimes, as different as I know it is for me than everyone else,
I admit, I just need that strength I can't get from myself,
to keep hanging on,
because just as everyone does not experience whatever it is I go through,
it just gives me even more hope,
that only I will understand and experience the outcome,
and so I pray that I keep on being myself,
to hold hope,
and look forward to those Better Days.
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