xanga is at an all time low.
boo. i miss xanga days.
it's okay.
myspace really does kick ass.
consider makeshiftonline.
just consider.

today in history. i was told, "not to sweat the small stuff."
too bad it takes being in a civilwar to learn such a simple thing that could change your life.

i stand alone.& wait. you see. & you still don't come..ouch.
everyone has two sides to them. & everyone is two faced & fake at times.
so i guess it's unfair to point fingers at anyone about being fake.
cause EVERYONE is. no joke.
sometimes i want to SCREAM when i get sad.
do unto others as you want done to you.
"is that the going rate for the women you love?"
love doesn't make sense. never will.
i'm defeated.broken.unsure.lost.hurt.
& i need you to come & find me.
because i can't find you anymore.
maybe a friendship is stronger than anything.
some people have really proved that right to me.
"friends are like stars, you can't always see them, but you always know they are there."
so thanks, you.

i'm done with my complaining.

i hate when people take advantage of other people.
but hey, i'm not pointing any fingers.
maybe don't make it so obvious next time.
people reallllyy like to rub shit in peoples faces.
it's just a known fact. easy to do.
don't get mad. get even.
you know i will. don't test it.
musical was good. good job everyone.
there's always one thing left unsaid.
maybe it's unsaid for a good reason.
not to hurt someones feelings.
what's better?the truth that draws a tear OR a lie that draws a smile.
life sucks when it comes to shit like that yes?
let's just say, "forget it. i'm sorry. let's move on."
or not. or try. really hard.
it's either one or the other. each way=very hard.
i pick try.
once you stop trying, you fucked it already.
just admitt YOU LOVE HiM!!
could this be love?-forte.
say yes.
let loose. set free.
it's the only way to be.

beat that. you love it & you know it.
are friends really the thing that gets you through.
sometimes i feel 110% about that. other times, not.
simple as that.
just shut up. SHUT UP.
you had me at hello.

i can't seem to tell what is real from fake. i always get that messed up & end up hurting people who don't deserve it & trusting people who don't deserve it. i hate when things get bad, they get really bad. when even the people who are your best friend(s) turn on you. i owe so many people apologies. you'll get them soon. i lost track of what is actually real in my life & while doing that, i lost track of the people who i knew to be true and accused them to be false. i started on the wrong path and i didn't even make the effort to try and turn around because i thought i was soo right when i now realize how wrong i was. i think this is good for everyone because "we" will learn a huge ass lesson. but that lesson is for everyone to figure out..

i'msorry..