Im currently on my 2nd week of break, also my last. I'd have to say that it wasn't a very productive one work wise, been bumming around instead of studying like I planned to. But I still have a living hope, heh. All is not lost, for in this one week, I'll put my heart and mind into revising for the upcoming examinations, however monotonous the cycle may seem.

But before I switch to the im-studying-so-DND mode, ...allow me to update on Wales.


It was a fun time, really. Though it took me almost one month before I got down to writing about it. Twas held at the same place I went to exactly one year ago ~ Cefn Lea Park, Wales. And I love that place, and the time there so much, I didn't wanna leave till the last day. Initially, I was suppose to go back on Sunday in time for college. But I bunked.


When I told my Chemistry lecturer where I went, he replied, "Who would have blamed you?" He is from Wales by the way, that says it all.


I've lost count of the arrivals and departures I've witnessed in my short stay here in London. Living in London, the most vital of all lessons to learn in early stages is to let go and I guess, make the best of who comes your way. It's a funny city; London. "There's absolutely nothing to love about it, but yet it grows on you," in the words of a friend studying in LSE.
I doubt I've fully mastered the art of letting go, but I've begun to anticipate the arrival of others - an addition to my handful collection of friends.


Were it a matter of pure coincidence or to say the most, pre-planned, I'm somewhat happy, albeit bothered. I am just being me, I guess. *shrugs* It's been long since I've opened up in words, though few. Indeed a memorable night. Experiences I thought were way beyond me, long forgotten, all were discussed on that eventful night, in the wee hours of the morning. Vague is that scene in my memory yet held close to my heart. I never cease to wonder at God's finest creations; people.


Greater joy I have not witnessed than when there's life, be it life given in love by God or the natural conception at birth. I remember clearly when Kristie was borned. I asked Auntie Jackie why she was named so; Kristie Joie Mak. (Correct me if I spelt your name wrongly Kristie) Her reply was something along the lines of her newborn being a bundle of joy to both her and Uncle David. Yeah, her name meant joy in some language I cannot quite remember. And how true, she IS joy to the people around her, to say the very least, she is; to me. =)


And talks about service, I don't know how else to say this but to put it very point blankly. He doesn't read long stuffs, he would read about this. That guy in the picture cleaning up is none other than the little boy I love so much; my younger brother. So near, yet so far. So near being that we live in the same house. So far because we're drifted far away from each other. People always tell of how close we seem to be, but are we, really?


Ooohhh, and what about dreams and ambitious pursuits we all are after? What does it take for someone to reach it? More than striving hard and climbing ladders, I need to be constantly reminded to go up the mountain, to a place where things can be seen from a different perspective, where vision is not blurred by the polluted air, hears not clogged by the 20 000 hertz of rock music pounding in our ears.


They say, the air is pure and clean up there, and I believe them.


My concerns of me ending up like one of them hasn't at all ended. But at least, if I get things straight from day one, things would be less severe. Life isn't the fairy tale I used to live in, in fact, as the days pass, I begin to see more of life in a different light. Dare I say, I'm excited yet at the same time intimidated by the endless possibile outcomes and turn outs of life.

The future in my case, remains uncertain. But I see it now,  a ray of sunshine, a dozen-and-one promises from God. It will all turn out fine, for all things work together for those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose. Whatever it may be, I want to be able to say I will follow through, no matter what the costs will be. A bold declaration to make in this age of uncertainty..


I want to learn that lesson from trees. To be deeply rooted, to have a strong foundation on which I can hold on to. When winds of change are headed my way, when the storm of doubt were to seemingly engulf me, I want to be able to bend in those situations and duck every arrow pointed at me. When it all clears, standing tall and strong will trees with deep roots stand.

I made the decision to get into the Word, but I ain't as bold as I used to be. Time is my constraining factor at the moment. I'd try, but more so, when exams are over. Pray with me, would you?

-shengeh-

We were all sitted in that blue multi-purpose room in the morning of October 2006, being spoken to by motivators, counsellors and college representatives. I remember getting all psyched about college, about meeting new people, and breaking free from the unjustified rules my beloved alma mater had.

But that's besides the point. Towards the end of the first session, the speaker asked us a question, which would you prefer, a bouquet of roses or a large diamond ring? I remember whispering my answer to my classmate almost instanteously. She did the same, but each chose the other option. One of the invigilators overheard our conversation and interpreted what the answers meant, objectively.

Then again, that too, is besides the point.

The question for me isn't rose or ring, it's presents or cards. It's a day or two away from the month of April, approximately, 2 months pass my birthday. But today, i retrieved a birthday card I never had the time to fetch. "Too busy", "I'm tired", "It's too far" were some of the excuses I gave. Undeniably, I was busy, tired and it is quite a distance. But would I have known, I would have dropped everything to go get it, really.

Thanks, you for everything, really.

I'm no good with showing gratitude and appreciation, as you may have well know. So yeah, can't express how grateful I am that God crossed our paths. Just so you know, it's mutual. You said you were blessed by my being, I am blessed by your existence, maybe a million times more.

I'm disappointed you opened up a little bit only, but still, am glad you ain't the person I first met.

Traumatic, if you asked me to relive my high school years without having first met you. I enjoyed the space I get when I'm walking along side you. Only time when I'm not swarmed by little kids. haha, just joking. Ooh, and that sense of 'security', knowing that I can never go wrong, or rather, do wrong because of how righteous you were with the school rules. You portrayed Christ, and I'm proud of you. =)

Don't know if you are ever going to read this, but I really really thank God for you in my life. Will have it no other way. So yeah, thanks Emerene.

For that card, and for being.


I cannot seem to find a decent picture of you and me. So when I'm back home in Malaysia, make sure you take loads of pictures with me okay? 'Cause you matter to me. awww....

Love you loads.

-shengeh-