Currently Listening Let It Die By Feist mushaboom!! <<---great song - great band!!! see related

I love my music life right now..i'm really having so much fun...and i feel like im growing and learning so much.......i'm very conflicted tho ....i am so aware that God has given me this gift, and that if i am not honoring him and glorifying him with it, then he can so easily take it away from me....

My life has been so strange lately...it's almost like i'm starting over with finding out who i am, and what i believe, and where my convictions are. It's not a fun place to be... i've been so protected from alot of this world through my family, and now to be in the world, and experiencing so much.... it makes me wonder if i've been fake all along...but i know that i have experienced Christ's power in my life, which is undeniable. I stand on so many of the prayers he's answered in my life....

I know that my life is a miracle because my of father's life...because he is a walking miracle... I've been thinking about his life alot lately, because i know that if God had not saved him from his brain anyuerism at the age of 15...i would definently not be here right now (duh!). But when I hear stories about how so many things took place to save his life, I know without a shadow of a doubt, it was a divine miracle. When i was in Florida visiting my grandmother a few weekends ago, she was telling me stories of his anyuerism, and how so many things came together to save his life...at first i thought, well thats just a coincedince...but situation after situation after situation, you just cannot deny that it was not a coincedince....it was a miracle.

One situation in which i marvel... Brain anyuerisms are so rare in children/teens...so rare.... from all the symptoms, he should have been diagnosed and treated with some form of meningitis, but the doctor who diagnosed him had just returned the week before from a conference on how to tell the difference between brain anyuerisms and meningitis...

I don't know why i've been thinking about his life so much lately, but it just gives me that much more purpose to make a difference in this world....or it at least gives me enough respect for the life given to me, that it makes me want to be a better person....

I know that my deepest of heart wants to please God, but my flesh is fighting hard. I don't know where my balance is.... For such a long time i worried about what people thought of me, and that i would never be as good of a Christian as them......i spent way too much time seeking their approval and not seeking a deeper relationship with God.

Currently Listening Waiting for My Rocket to Come By Jason Mraz see related

so i'm off to atlanta for the weekend with lisa - I got invited to go to Pickwick with todd and the family, but Lisa and I already had major plans for an adventurous drive to Atlanta...! =)

ive been reading My Utmost for His Highest since the beginning of the year...and i swear...every day, the passages are exactly what i need to read....it's definently powerful stuff....to know that God knows exactly what i'm going through and exactly what i need to know to do His will. 

band practice went really well last night - musically that is. we had a riff between 2 people involved with the band that may cause the band to go in a different direction...it will be interesting to see what happens.....who knows..it may make us stronger as a band....

i want to go back to the beach!