Today is sunday i went to church i took in the deep message of finding joy in christ and not other things like how my day went or sucess in life. But appearently the roots of the message were shallow compared to my thick headedness. I waited to meet my family to eat, we met at Logans. My grandmother is leaving thursday so my mother wanted a nice meal for us. My brother and sister are so lous and are always crying for attention and so i decided i would say something... so i did and i lechtured and lechtured... but for what? finally my brother just hit my last nerve as he squashed a tomatoe onton the table and said stop and he tested me... i snaped and kicked him in the shin. and told him to stop testing me... The rest of the dinner just went down hill and i had to leave my little sister was crying cause i was being mean my mom just gave me this stare of disapointment and my grandmother asked what was wrong with me today? I dont know what is wrong with me. its not my place to lechture them they dont need anyone else doing that... I drove him quickly so not to shed a tear in public but as soon as i opened my apartment door is was over. i opened my bible and tried to find something to read and i would The salt and the light... what happens to salt when it loses its saltyness, its thrown to the ground to stomped on. I feel like psalms 22 when the writter exclaims But i am not a man but a worm! right now im just cooling off b efore i call them back to meet them, to apologize. I have to be a big enough man to show them i did wrong.

I m also leaving for my bike trip after classes end. So i can keep the insurance and get alittle more training in before i take the plunge.

Lord i dont deserve your Grace. But im so glad i have it. I m glad you long for a relationship with me and dont treate me like i do others!