Updates

wow where to begin

So I'm engaged! like officially ring and all... Kinda late in updating it on here... seems like I've updated everywhere else though. Yeah, so I will be the official Mrs. Donnie Houf around the first of next august (eek! yay!) For those of you who perhaps dont know Donnie, you most likely do and somehow just dont remember him at my bonfires etc etc for the past 5 years... I'm going to marry my best friend and I'm sooooo terribly excited!

Mom and I took a cruise... we went with my Aunt Deb and her sister in law Susie and we went to the western carribean. Cozumel Mexico where I got to speak in spanish but people were really rude to my mom so I didnt get to say very many nice things... but bought tons of silly souvenirs that I don't need and was the official pack mule for the group. Roatan Honduras where I got to speak all kinds of spanish with the taxi driver and discuss the three crazy ladies I love. Belize where I got to see real Mayan Ruins... and learn some stuff and finally the Grand Bahama Island in the Bahamas where I got tons of junk from the straw market. Overall an exciting adventure!

Mom and I then went to New Mexico where we visited Philmont Scout Ranch where dad used to work. We only spent a couple days there but it was gorgeous and we took tons of pictures. Mom took some rocks, pressed flowers, and a cactus as well. We also had a brief run in with a Mountain Lion! eek! Didnt see it but definitely heard the large beast. This was also kind of emotional for mom and I. Mom b/c she remembered stories dad used to tell her and how dad took her there often. For me b/c Dad always said he wanted to take me there and show me around the mountains hard core backpacking style and that is something that will not happen... I'm a bit bitter...

We were going to finish up our trip around the rest of the Enchanted Circle but then decided on a whim to go to Tulsa, OK which is where I was born and where dad and mom started their lives together. This was totes the most emotional bit of the trip for mom while I was just pumped to see everything I've heard so many stories about.

Then up to Hoisington KS for my grandpa C's memorial service (dad's dad). This wasnt so emotional for mom, but more difficult for me. I felt the absence of dad many times while I was there and Grandpa told Grandma that he wanted me and my cousins to sing at the service... I've not sang in front of people in a long time and eek... that was kinda hard... however it seemed that our voices blended nicely and all the old people were entertained or at least were deaf. Grandma got out tons of her old scrap books and I got to learn a lot about the young lives of my grandparents... so the whole adventure was very therapeutic?

So this brings me to: I'm entering the MFA in Costume Design program at OSU and I've just moved into my very own apartment in C-bus... yay!

and that's all I got now?

Toots and muwah

It has never bothered me to automatically reply to the everyday "how are you" with the expected "good", "great", or "peachy" even if I didn't completely mean it or there was something going on... until now.

I guess its just b/c something super uber life affecting happened this time. I mean losing dad so quick and while I've been at college has made the whole experience very surreal or rather just not real at all. Almost like I'm not experiencing it or as if it is happening in a movie or at the worst in a nightmare. Then it also doesn't help that I've had dreams of dad lately too which just really makes me want to wake up and be able to call him to ask how to clean the air purifier machine thingy in my room b/c it says it needs to be cleaned but I never listened the million and one times he told me how. Thats really the worst of it: wanting to go back and REALLY listen. I know its something that no one can understand how important it is until its too late, but really folks... taking the time to listen and pay attention to those around you is invaluable, priceless, you cannot say how important it is or really fully understand its worth until you do not have the opportunity anymore. I have a lot of regret. I loved my dad, but many times what he said went in one ear and out the other, and really even if I had a tape recorder of everything he said the content would mean something, but just hearing his voice would mean more. Do we really only notice how the notes our loved ones speak in one sentence ring in the air when their gone? Think of someone you care about that you haven't seen in a while... try to imagine their voice... can you? I can still imagine dad's, but I want it back. It was priceless even if at times it was full of bitter sarcasm, embarassingly loud, or off pitch when he sang.

Anyhow...

Soo how am I doing? I am okay... alright... struggling... but making it one day, hour, and minute at a time. Days will seem to go by and it will kinda be like it never happened. I laugh, joke, and feel normal... then something will push a trigger and there I am again balling my eyes out. I'm fragile and I don't like it at all. No it doesn't bother me to keep hearing "how are you", in fact it is assuring that you guys are caring for me, but its going to be awhile until you hear me responding "good", "great", or "peachy". I don't want to be the downer... but just know that I'm working through the grief.... baby steps... so one day is better than the day before I'm just running out of slightly above mediocre terms to describe my overall being.

Daddy

sooooooo cough syrup makes applying to grad school... soooo much more fun

I WISH!

ps. Thank you guys for coming to see the show! It REALLY REALLY meant a ton!

Miami University Presents

Cloud Tectonics

By Jose Rivera

Set and Costumes By: ME!!!!

In Studio 88

Feb 6: 8pm

Feb 7: 8pm

Feb 8: 8pm

Feb 9: 2pm

            8pm

Feb 10: 2pm

I've been working on this just under a year. Its a big deal... and Opening Night is Tonight! YAY!