Ever since that last Word Master's challenge, I've been thinking, sometimes subconsiously, sometimes not, but always thinking. I've been thinking about how it said that life is unbearable and the fact that there is life is against all odds. That whole business frightened me a bit because what can we do about it if life is unbearable. Then I wrote my original oratory in Debate. It was all about how simply changing your outlook can make everything better. Well after I wrote that, I started looking at things differently. Not changing my outlook to the better, but leaving it how it was. Well... that was uber depressing in itself. There just doesn't seem to be much that makes my day brighter anymore. My friends still do, but they always have and always will because those are the kind of amazing people I hang out with. But what about those times when I'm not with my friends? When life can get into the crevasses of my mind and stick there, sapping my happiness and energy. And what happens when friends stop being friends except for when they are in dire need of YOUR help. Forget trying to hang out with you, they have more important things to do, but when their life turns to the negative YOU might just be good enough to stand in the same room with them. Life tends to find exactly where your weakest spots are then ATTACK them with everything that it can throw against you. Things just keep piling on until you don't think you can bear that weight anymore. I guess that occasionally that demon called life can give you something wonderful, something amazing, something fantastic. But then it takes it away. It uses those good things to hurt you in a way that piling up bad things can't quite manage. Ahh goodness. I guess I'm done. I'm just tired of all the shit.

Forget regret or life is yours to miss.

OKAY so today was all MUSICAL THEATER auditions... I was originally going to sing Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera but I couldn't get sheet music soooo this morning I had to go in early to try and learn Music of the Night with Miks... but that didn't exactly turn out real fabulously since in the middle of my audition I definately forgot the words and just kinda looked around and took words from a different part of the song... but it's all good right? I wasn't expecting to get in anyways since I'm not in intro and there are fifty million girls so yeah! I was just doin it for kicks and giggles. I got home and hung out with Miki, Sarah, Tucker, and Pierce at the waterfall. It was pretty sweet. Then I talked to Trevor who is beautiful... he just is, but I'm pretty sure he was high... it was sooooo funny because he was trying to debate with me about why I should try drinking but when I asked him why it was important he was just kinda like... oh well it isn't... so that was like 15 minutes of my life wasted. Oh well he's beautiful so it's all good! His eyes are soooo gorgeous! They are definately drool-worthy. ::smiles::

LOVEEEEE

Manders

What a crappy day you guys!!!! It didn't snow which is the first sign of intense crappiness since school proceeded to happen ugh! Umm then I went to school and while seeing Rory and jumping on him gave me some minute pleasure, for the most part I was tired or getting crap loads of homework or being all CRAMPY and ewww how gross is that! Then I had to get allergy shots which in itself is terrible but now I only have to get one so I guess that kind of makes it better since there are fewer pointy things being pushed into my skin. Then I went to get Midol to fix my femine problems which is good!!!! Yeah! Umm but I would prefer that I didn't need Midol because that would mean I wouldn't be cramping in the first place, right? Let's see... LD debate blows... it makes no sense and who cares about philosophy! NO ONE! So yeah now I'll go do my homework since it is begging me to go do it! ::DIES::