Today’s blog is a total hodge podge of bits information that could probably merit, like, half entries by themselves. For instance, item 1 probably could flesh itself out into 3 paragraphs tops if I was feeling particularly verbose, but item 3 will tell you why I’m not. Maybe someday I will write an entry dedicated entirely to breakfast cereal. Actually, that would be fantastic.  Next week. I promise. I already have my 3 entries planned out for this week (crazy organized WHAT).

Moving on.

1. My mom bought Golden Grahams! Yeah, that’s pretty much it. But seriously. Who doesn’t love Golden Grahams.

2. Michigan’s economy sort of sucks. Actually, scratch that, it royally blows in comparison to most of the nation. Like, try an 8.5% unemployment rate, and that excludes the number of people that have just given up trying to find a job- namely, a lot of people I know. I have 5 foreclosed homes in my neighborhood alone, mostly house builders who ended up with like 50 high-end homes they couldn’t sell so the bank caved in on them and they went to hide in their parent’s condominium in Florida with their wife and kids. I'm serious.

And yet, I have three jobs this summer. And because my life is one hilarious extended sitcom, one of them is again a ridiculous story, and a second one just makes me look pathetic.

So you all know about the VanAndel job, where I’m studying cancer and whatnot. While I had a job for this summer lined up, my 16 year old brother Louie had nothing, and he spends more than I do on a regular basis, mainly because I don’t spend money. But my parents were all on his back trying to get him to get a job, and when my mom saw Dick’s was hiring, she told him to go take a look at the online application.

Well, I’m sort of addicted to the internet, so I went and checked it out, too. Filled out an application, actually, truthfully saying that I am completely unavailable from 7am - 5pm during the week, that I left PetSmart because I wanted more time to play lacrosse, and that I’m leaving mid-August to go to school in Massachusetts.

So last week Wednesday, you can understand my surprise when I got a call for an interview that Friday. But I went, because money is generally a good thing to have, and I’m pretty sure I have the job. 20 minutes in and out- I’m pretty much an interviewing beast, what can I say.

And I’ll be working mostly on weekends, maybe one or two weeknights, and come on, I get a discount at Dick’s, which is awesome. Seriously, of all the part time jobs I could possibly get, this is among the most awesome. And I got it by accident.

My third job pays the best and theoretically should be the easiest. I tutor my next door neighbor in math over the summers, and this year we’re doing Algebra 1. Now, I like Algebra. A lot, actually. The minor problem, though, is that I’ve never learned how to factor, and consequently have no idea how to teach her what should be a really basic part of the subject. We moved a couple times while I was in middle school and I always managed to miss most of Algebra 1, so whatever I know of Algebra is entirely self-taught. Factoring was annoying and unimportant, I felt, so I mostly ignored it and stuck to guess and check, which is generally not a good method to teach a 12 year old.

My friends still marvel at the fact that I got through 4 years of high school this way. I guess it’s a good thing that I’m learning this now, though? I don’t know. I was pretty chill with the guess and check but I’m sort of thinking that’s not going to fly next year. But anyways, I’m getting like $12 an hour to hang out and do math. It’s going to be pretty sweet.

That turned out way longer than anticipated.

3. I had an eye appointment this morning. Every time I go, I hold on to this little strand of hope that they won’t have to dilate my eyes this time or put that thing up against my eye to test for glaucoma (“Really, I think I’m ok. Can I go now?”). And every time, hope lets me down. Consequently, I can’t see anything within, like, 2 feet, but I’ve discovered that if I use my mom’s reading glasses I can still read my computer, which is fantastic and the reason I look like this right now. Note the awesomely huge pupils.



Seriously, the things I do for you people.

4. Blogging has actually worked its way into my sleep. So I had this dream last night that I was in Harry Potter, and I had to get Dumbledore’s help because I was hiding in a broom closet at my old grade school, which was headquarters for some secret organization, and we needed his help to keep Voldemort from getting in because the blue paint on our walls wasn’t magic enough.

And then, in the middle of my dream, I had to update my blog. And it was actually a good entry that had a good ending and everything. But I woke up this morning and was extremely creeped out and immediately thought of this xkcd and felt the need to blog the dream, which then made me feel even more creeped out, and then all I could think of was this xkcd to fully describe how disappointed I was in my subconscious.

I seriously need to get off the internet. And I find it sad that my imaginary blog entry had a better ending than this.

So I was bored and thinking about hearing back about FPOPS tomorrow (freaky-fast-turnaround-WHAT) and was like, "Oh, it'd be really funny to ask the magic eight ball which one I'll get." And this is what happened.

Question 1: Will I get into FUP?
Magic Eight Ball: Outlook not so good.

Q 2: Come on, I have to get into FUP.
MEB: My sources say no.

Q 3: Are you sure?
MEB: Maybe.

Q 4: Stop fucking with me, magic 8 ball.
MEB: No way!

That thing has a sadistic sense of humor for a computer generated child's plaything.

(You know what would be great? To run a statistical analysis of how accurately the magic eight ball predicts the outcome of events. MIT blog potential? Just sayin'.)

(Fun Fact: If you Google the phrase "Goat Pee," my blog is officially on the first page of results. I think I should just direct people to my blog this way, instead of giving them the web address. "Oh yeah, just google goat pee and my blog's the 7th result."

I think my life is finally complete.)

So you know those days when you don’t technically have to get up at a certain time, but you decide that you’re going to be productive so you set your alarm for some time that in retrospect, you would never be able to wake up by, but you decide that you really should?

Today was one of those days.

Despite not getting to bed much before 1:30 thanks to a combination of social life and MacBook exploration (more on that one at a later a date), I decided that I for sure should get up by 8. Why? I guess I felt that was a good time. Wake up, go for a run, get the day to a good start. Oh, and call for an interview.

Backing up- so yesterday I went out and checked the mail. And that was a lousy way to start a story. Anyways, so I go out and one of the envelopes addressed to me has the label SUMMER WORK OPPORTUNITY ENCLOSED. Now, I already have a full time job lined up (we discussed this, remember?) but I could really go for some extra cash on the side. So I read the letter, which promises $14.25 base pay and all I have to do is call for an interview. Sounds a little sketch, but hey, might as well try, right?

I actually end up waking up at 10 or so, roll out of bed, and decide to call the place to arrange for an interview. So I talk to the very nice operator woman, who asks if I can make an 11:15 appointment. “Sure,” I tell her, still not aware of the time. “Where are you guys?”

She gives me the directions, tells me that I really ought to be there by 11 because I need to fill out a preliminary application, and wishes me good luck.

I hang up the phone, turn around, and nearly die when I see this



because I think it’s a wonderfully nerdy time, know that the office is at least 20 minutes away, and I’m still in my pajamas. And my hair is still slightly wet from the pool party I was at the night before.

I manage to get to the place around 11:10, despite looking slightly wrinkled with still-wet hair, and after filling out my application am given a preliminary interview, which informs me that I am being screened for a customer sales position that involves selling high-end kitchen cutlery to valued customers. Ok. I put on my winning smile, pretend I like talking to people and absolutely love working to fit the customer’s needs, get past the first round and am told to go sit in the waiting room.

Now, this place is a little sketch. Like, even more than that orange juice you have sitting in your fridge that smells a little sour but you think is still good sketch. Like, smells like old building, carpet peeling, all fold-up chairs sketch. Like, I’d rather-be-cleaning-up-goat-pee sketch.

So I explain that I actually had a previous engagement this afternoon, but would love to reschedule the second half for tomorrow if possible, and I’m so terribly sorry but I didn’t realize that the second half of the interview would take 90 FREAKIN’ MINUTES.

I have no intention of keeping my 11:30 appointment tomorrow. I should probably tell them that.

Eh, I’ll wake up at 8 and call them then.

The Morse Code is an anagram for Here Come Dots.

... and this is what I'm doing instead of studying for AP Calc.

Lacrosse games, teachers "helping prevent senioritis" by piling us up with work (gee, thanks), getting sick, plus Quiz Bowl state competition = all this week. Blog entry Thursday night? Maybe? I'm currently sorting through pictures and what not. I already have CPW outlined, but I'm trying to figure out how to nicely consolidate my cruise into one entry.

Just thought I'd let you know that I am not, in fact, dead.