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| tonight is going to be an interesting night.
i am enjoying my freedom from hannah the slave-driver, but i am doing something that i never though i would be doing. the glorious unseen is going to lead worship tonight at cross current in rockford. i think it will be over before it really settles in.
garret neuman is the pastor now, and master's commission doesn't work with cross current any more. it's going to be so different, and i have no idea if it's better or worse. they are having us play a few songs, and then they're going to do an interview to talk with jonathan todryk and i about "life after cross current."
how did i end up in this spot?!
if i let myself get really visionary about this band, cross current is exactly the place that i want to go. i believe that God has given us a chance to affect places like this with really honest encounters with His Spirit. it feels weird to say it, but i believe that we can truly lead people into worship. maybe all that means is that we can make people feel good and we call it God's Spirit. maybe all that means is that we play nice music that puts peace into people's heart. i don't know.
i do know that good things are happening, and i'm looking forward to great things happening. tonight's platform is at cross current, and i really don't have any idea what is next. i am excited about what God has put inside of our hearts, and i am excited for cross current to experience it all tonight.
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| i decided to keep the job. money is very persuasive, but that doesn't
make me feel like any less of a sellout. i'm sure it's the right
decision for a lot of reasons, but the world is not black and white. i do believe that missing this weekend is better for my music life/career in the long run, but i wish i was out there.
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| no picturesdilemma:
#1 [the faith choice]
quit my job making $800/wk [more than i've made in a long time, maybe ever] to go play shows for the weekend with the worship band.
#2 [the safe choice]
keep my job and get a buddy to fill in on bass.
is the safe choice the wise choice?
is this a spot where i look at all the reasons not to quit my job and do it anyway?
i always think people are stupid for making the faith choice in these spots, but now i'm here.
am i selling out my faith if i give in to keep the job?
am i irresponsible if i don't keep the job?
am i trying to justify being irresponsible?
how much should i consider the fact that holly wants me to keep the job?
i don't feel like there is a wrong decision here, but i do feel like this is a crossroad. is this really a choice between heaven and hell? probably not. but i can't shake that this is a choice between trusting in the Lord and trusting in my own abilities.
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