Goodbye (Again)

My grandfather was a simple man.  I didn't really get to know him that well until I was in college.  He's very quiet until he knows that you share an interest, then he comes up to you and starts a conversation.  When I was a freshman in college, I took a woodworking class (I don't remember what it was called anymore. I'm sure I could think of it if I really tried...), and this started our real relationship.  See, my grandfather made the most beautiful dollhouses, so he was very into the types of things that I was learning in my class.  One day, we were in LaSalle for one of our annual trips, and he came up to me out of the blue and asked me to come down to his woodshop in the basement.  He showed me around, and we spent about an hour down there, just talking.  I don't think he had spoken more than two sentences together to me before that.  It's not that he didn't love me.  He just didn't believe in wasting words.  But when he spoke about something he was passionate about, it was hard to get him to stop talking.

Being the oldest granddaughter (and grandchild, for that matter), I was the first one who got a dollhouse.  I have the first one he ever made.  One Christmas, when I was about 6 years old, he brought it up for the basement for me.  Not only did he make the dollhouse for me, but he made all of the little furniture to go in the house for me.  The only thing he ever bought was the family for the house.  As he went on making dollhouses, he got better at them.  He learned how to make windows that really opened, and the actual designs of the house were more elaborate.  When I was older, in about 4th grade, I asked him to make me another dollhouse.  He did, happily.  When I thanked him profusely, he shrugged it off like he always does.

In recent years, I've learned even more about him.  He and Jason are very similar.  I've never seen him open up so much as he did with Jason.  He really took a liking to him.  Jason likes to work with his hands, so I told Jason to ask him about his woodshop.  They went there one night when we were in LaSalle, and before I knew it, it was midnight, and I was practically asleep on the couch.  He not only took him into his shop, but showed him the classic car he restored and took to car shows all over the state.  From that point on, every time I went to family parties, I never saw Jason because my grandpa would literally kidnap him the moment we got in the door.  I loved it, though.  It was nice to see him open up.

When my Gramie died in May, I had a sudden, irrational fear of losing him even though he was healthy.  It seemed that he was going to be around forever.  He had a bout with testicular cancer a few years ago, but he beat that with little problem.  When we went to LaSalle earlier in the month, there were some whisperings of him not feeling well, and he looked rather thin, but he didn't seem to let it get to him.  He seemed like his normal self.  It got worse last week, and my great uncle made him go to the hospital for tests.  He was not happy about it.  The doctors eventually diagnosed him with Chron's disease, and he was going to be released on Monday after meeting with a dietician and getting put on medication.  I thought we were in the clear.  We were going down to LaSalle this weekend to celebrate his birthday, which is on the 9th.

This morning my Dad called at 8:30.  I was half asleep, so I didn't answer the phone.  Then he called Jason's phone, so I knew something was wrong.  I called him back, and he told me that my grandpa died early this morning.

I was hoping that he would be around to make a dollhouse someday for my children.  I suppose I should be happy that he was at my wedding, because that's more than what I got with my Gramie.  Still, it's hard.  I don't understand how both my grandparents could die within 6 months of each other.  More than that, they were both sick and then getting better when they died, so it was unexpected. 

I don't know what to do now.  I miss him.

Wedding Photos

Here's some wedding photos for all of you.  These are just some of my favorites, in no particular order.

The girls waiting for the bouquet toss Craig and Krisin dancing Colton and Shelley dancing Beth and Kirk dancing   Our first dance as husband and wife                                                Our wedding rings

Eating cake The bridal party outside on the country club grounds On the bridge at the country clubJason and I in the gazebo at the country club In the church after the ceremony The bridal party at the church after the ceremony Jason before the ceremony Me before the ceremony My family and I before the ceremony The bridesmaids and I before the ceremony Jason and his groomsmen before the ceremony Jason and I after the ceremony Jason and his family before the ceremony

Changes

It's official- I am now Sarah Allen.  I changed my name on Wednesday.  I'm still getting used to it, but I like it.  Seeing my new license makes it real.

The wedding went really well, especially considering all the problems we were having beforehand.  But that day, everything fell into place.  It rained a little that morning, but I've heard that's good luck, so that was okay with me.  It made everything really green at the country club.  I think, and hope, that everyone had a good time.  Jason wound up getting sick towards the end of the night (not many people know, he did it very quietly because he felt it coming on)- he was exhausted.  He worked long hours during the week, and was overheated, and it all caught up with him.  Other than that, the night went well.

We had a great honeymoon.  We took the cash that we got from the wedding and went up to Galena from Tuesday to Saturday.  It's gorgeous up there.  We're actually talking about moving there when I'm done with school.  Jason can commute to Dubuque for work, and we can find a house at a reasonable price.  And I'm sure I can find a job up there.  The area itself is gorgeous.  We loved the little shops.  There's a doll shop there, and I got three new Raggedy Anns.  We also got tattoos.  I got my Raggedy Ann tattoo, and Jason got a butterfly.  We got our wedding date underneath our tattoos.  They came out really nice.  We wanted to stay forever, but unfortunately, we had to come back.

I had to tell my work when I came back that I would need to go part time because of school, and luckily, they were okay with that.  This week I had an orientation session on Wednesday at NIU, and talk about overwhelming. They were already talking about our thesis, and how we really need to start thinking about it within the next year.  That's a scary thought.  A year flies by so fast.  I start school on Monday, and I'm a little apprehensive, and a little apprehensive.  I hope I can do this.  Right now I don't feel like I'm smart enough to write a thesis, but the professors promise that we'll get plenty of help, so we'll see what happens.

I got my wedding pictures last night, and they look amazing.  Ashley was worth the money, and then some!  I'm so pleased with the result. 

Now it's all over.  Time to begin married life.  And go into bridesmaid mode for Shelley's wedding in June.

Crazy Times

I got my letter from NIU, and my semester change is effective.  So after my trial hair appointment and our last marriage counseling session tomorrow, I will try again to register for classes.  Cross your fingers, hopefully it will work this time, and hopefully I'll be able to get the classes I want.  I didn't want to leave it for this late in the game.  Obviously, I'm a little stressed out here.  I'm getting married in 11 days, so I have a lot on my plate.  I didn't really want to be dealing with school on top of it.  But, it is what it is, so I have to deal with it. 

I have very little left to do as far as the wedding goes.  Tomorrow we're planning out the ceremony with Pastor Carol.  Jason and I are waiting on the credit card to come in the mail that we ordered from our bank so we can get the few last minute items that we need.  I'm not really that stressed about it, though.  I have been at times, but things are going to happen that day that I can't control and it's going to be what it's going to be.  In the end, I'm going to be Mrs. Allen and Jason and I will be able to begin our lives together.  And isn't that what's most important, after all?  Not whether or not I have flowers, or whether the caterer flakes on me.  At least, that's how I'm trying to console myself.  Because the last counseling session we went through, Pastor Carol told us that she would never consider not marrying us, and she could tell that we were prepared to make it work in the long run.  So I know that even if everything else falls apart, she won't.  And that's all that matters.

Only 15 days left until Jason and I get married. Surprisingly, I don't have a lot left to do.

Meet with caterer/reception hall manager (who I've called FOUR times in the past week)

One marriage counseling session

Final dress fitting/pick up dress

Trial hair appointment

Make candy favors (but I like doing stuff like that)

Buy guy's gifts and wrap them

Buy a gift for Kirsten and wrap it

Pay for my wedding band and pick it up

Pick up tuxedos (which we can't do until the day before)

And then stuff the day before- rehearsal dinner, set up the hall, nail appointment, etc.  It's down to the wire now. 

I AM SO EXCITED!!! 

And then after that, I have to deal with the NIU thing.  They registered me in the summer semester, so I can't sign up for my classes.  I called the campus, and someone in graduate admissions is working on switching my semester of admission to the Fall so I can take care of it.  Hopefully it will get taken care of soon, because if I'm going to go in the Fall, I start classes a month from today...