Currently Listening I'm Not Dead By Pink U and UR hand (I am becoming a big fan of this voice.) see related

Cold

   Summer's gone.  Damn. 

I love summer.

It's dark when I get up for work in the morning and it's dark just after I get home. Depressing.  One day just merges into another with about as much light as a Norwegain winter.

It's no fun either- this cold thing.  I go out the door in the moring and my nipples protrude three fold whilst the rest of my body recoils and shrinks in horror at the chill.

Still, there are SOME benefits to winter.  I might start working on my list to Santa.

What do you want for Christmas?

Shorts.xxx

HOLIDAY!  CELEBRATE!  IF WE TOOK A HOLIDAY.....!

Aaaaaahhhh.......... we are flying to Spain this week for a holiday!  Yay! 

Last time we went abroad it was to A Murica (West Virginia)  almost 4 years ago to see an English friend of mine who had wed his beautiful A Murican bride and gone to live over there. 

It has been far too long since we had a break.  We are going to Costa Brava and will possibly squeeze in a trip to Barcelona if we can.

I am so excited that my little boy is going to get a beach holiday.  He is so excited about the flight and the hotel and everything.

I just hope the airport chaos is no longer chaos by the time we fly.  These terrorists sure are a pain in the ass.  Our first holiday in 4 years and it has to be THIS week they plan to blow our airliners out of the sky.  These people need a bloody good slap up side the head.  How very inconsiderate of them to choose THIS week. 

Political correctness has taken over at the airports and caused chaos.  Every man, woman and child is being searched, then their baggage too!  They are too scared to use racial profiling and target  only muslims for bag searches for fear of being labelled racist.  As a result, a third of all flights have been cancelled daily since this first kicked off last Thursday.  The airport staff in all of London's airports have said they just don't have the manpower or the time to carry out the checks on every single passenger then their baggage, as the Government have instructed them to do.  The chief of Police has said we should use racial profiling, as have the aviation authorities, but no.  It ain't happening.  People are scuuuuuuuuuuurrrrred of the Muslim community throwing a fit, so as a result, the general British public, people who may have saved their pennies for years to afford a family holiday for a short week will have to either sleep on the airport floor with their kids for a few days or may even be told that their trip will be completely cancelled.

In Israel they have used racial profiling to keep terrorists off their planes for years and as a result have one of the safest airlines in the world.  They know, as we in the UK know and those in USA know, just who is most likely to want to blow us up.  In Britain's case it's young Muslims.  Simple as that.  That isn't racist.  That's common sense.  That isn't racist.  That's FACT!  History shows it and you can argue with a lot of things. But nobody can argue with recent history. And any law abiding, peace loving muslim will agree.  If they have nothing to hide then they won't mind being searched.  They should in fact welcome it.

Pisses me off.  Don't get me started.

Out of the 21 arrests made last Thursday in raids, four of the houses were right next to me.  One is in the next street to me, two on the same street at then end of my road.  Another one near the school where I work, 5 minutes from here.  Police are still standing outside today (Monday) guarding the properties whilst the search for evidence goes on.

Just don't know who your fucking neighbours are any more.  Still, that's what you get when you fail to have effective border control. Tinies island in the world and they all come and live HERE! Take our benifits and social security payments.  Live rent free IN VERY NICE HOUSES. With MY taxes  And pay us back by biting the hand that feeds them by blowing us out of the sky and trying to recreate 9/11.   This country has gone to hell in a hand cart.  Make no mistake.  Don't get me started.

If our plane doesn't take off for the holiday this week I will go around their houses and kick their very asses. And I don't mean their donkeys.

By the way, Ed.  I saw your brother today (Nicky's Dad).  Stopped him in the street down near Walthamstow market.  He didn't know who the feck I was.  Soon convinced him I wasn't a mad woman who stops men in the street when I spieled off all his family member's names.  Haha!  He looks so much like you.  Even sounds like you.  I told him so and he said "Oh....DON'T say THAT!".  Jokingly, just like you say it.  Funny.  Told him I beeped him up when I passed by in the car sometimes but he always looked baffled.  One time he was with Rob and Rob just grinned back like a fool.  Probably thought I was coming on to him or something.  Haha!

Anyway folks.  Going to pack my suitcase.

Suntan lotion.  Check.

Bathing suit.  Check.

Bomb proof clothing.  Check.

Parachute.  Check.

Talk to ya when I get back.

Shorts. xxx

I STILL FEEL LIKE I AM 17 YEARS OLD!

 I am 34 tomorrow.  I feel half that age.  At the same time I feel like I have crammed in 50 years of experiences.  I love my life.  Only another 34 years to go.  Better get on with the day.  Such a shame to waste even a minute.

I think we will drive to the coast and enjoy the beach for the day.  Chill out.  

Love Shorts.xxx

It's just so HOT!

The end of this week went up to 37 celcius.  Now I know some of you live in hot parts of the world, but for the UK this is astounding. 

I am permanently damp in places I never even knew existed.  (Haha! ).  I actually LIKE the humidity. Am I a crazy person?

About 15 years ago I spent 3 and a half years living in South East Asia.  It was jungle. It was moist all the time.  It was humid. It was a kind of permanent dampness, but I found it relaxing. Most people around me cursed it and made irritating moaning noises, praying for the sun to just go down at the end of the day just so that they could breathe normally again.  But to be honest it was almost the same humidity even after sunset (very beautiful sunsets, I have to add). 

This week I have reminisced an awful lot about those days because the heat here has reminded me of those care free days.

A couple of weeks after arriving there I remember swearing to myself that I would settle there one day.  Halfway through the fourth year when I returned to UK, crying like a baby on the flight back, I swore again to myself I would be back soon.

Fifteen years later I am still in London.

Life takes over.    

Work takes over.

Relationships rule your life instead of YOU taking control.

You have a baby or two. (The absolute best thing that ever happened in my life, by the way.  Wish I had done that one sooner.  Didn't know it would be so great.)

You can find yourself just trying to get through another week.

Before I know it I am 33 years old.  Here I am wondering why I never took my dream and ran with it.  I have to say, you can't blame other people for what you do and don't do in life.  But I must conclude, in all fairness, that it was because of a man.  Because of a relationship.  This one bad relationship I had (EVER) and it sucked all the life out of me.  It drained me.  All my relationships had been positive before and this one just about crippled my very being.  I wasn't even myself.  In fact I think I gave up a lot for this bad relationship. Not just the chance to live where I felt at home.

Until that point I had been focused on what I was doing and where I was going and who I was, etc, etc.  But when I hit that little hurdle (big hurdle actually!) I must have lost track.  When shit takes over, you forget sometimes what you promised yourself in your youth.  Your simple, innocent youth.

I do believe that you can't really make hard plans in life because you just don't know which way life is going to take you, corny as that sounds. It's also more fun to see what comes up rather than just say "this is what I am doing" and then stick rigidly to it.  I think I am more like one of those people who closes her eyes and puts her finger on the globe, opens her eyes and says "OK, that's where we are going", for no apparent reason what-so-ever.  It's just fun and adventure.  Something different.  Something new.  It's exciting.

Anyway, that's what I have been thinking about today.  Funny how a few days of hot weather can bring all those memories out of me. 

It's a similar thing to when you smell something that gives you a childhood memory.  Like somebody's perfume. Or your grandad's pipe tobacco. Or a smell that reminds you of your little school.  Or a song that reminds you of what you were all doing or who you knew at that point in your life.

You get the picture?  It can send you right back to a certain moment in time.  Today it's made me ponder on things I suppose.  Not something I do a lot of. Like most people, I just wake up in the morning and jump on the carousel and start going round.  Today I didn't want to get on.  I don't think I want to get on tomorrow either.

I will still fullfil this promise to myself.  I know. I also want my young son to experience other countries and cultures the way I did when I was younger. It sets you up in a way that nothing else can.  But it will happen later in life than expected.  Then so be it.

Did anybody else make themselves promises in youth which they didn't fullfil as they got older and life took over?  I bet there are loads of you.  What was it?  And will you still realise it?

Shorts.xxx 

 July 7th 2006 remembering July 7th 2005

It's a year since the London bombings where terrorists murdered 52 people throughout our capital on the transport systems.  I thought to myself today that there has just been no fuss at all.  There has been no drama at all.  No real effort to pay respects on the first anniversary. 

At first I thought this was bad.  People should remember a little more easily.  The victims and their families are still suffering so much.  Government winds me up the way they have neglected maimed and suffering victims of that terrible day.

Then I thought, well, actually it is a clear sign that life has moved on and goes on as normal for most people. 

NOBODY is scared to go on the bus.

NOBODY is scared to use the tube (subway).

NOBODY is scared to just go about their business as usual.

Life goes on.

For me, that is a crystal clear  "FUCK YOU"  to the terrorists who want to put the fear of God into us.  It's a giant middle finger in their face.

These fools should come and have a good look at this city.

They've not affected our daily lives one little bit.

The doors are that way.  Go out and don't come back.  Scum.

Wishing peace of mind to anybody caught up in last year's terrorist acts and to their families and friends also affected.

Shorts.xxx