I'M SO TIRED of it. Seeing all my friends hurt...the opposite sex is evil, I tell you. even for guys: girls are EVIL! hahaha. But man!!! I can't take this!!! How is it that all of my close friends are all going through heartache...at the same time. I mean one I can handle, maybe two...but I'm talking of about EiGHT people that I'm working to pick up right now.

I love giving advice. I love being there for my friends. But it's REALLY HARD when the MORE you try to help, the MORE they don't listen. It's like, no matter what I try to tell them, they just ignore the idea you know? But I know I'm right. Because I've been through it before, and I've seen sooo many other people go through it too.

But I have to remember that these certain people HAVEN'T, and EVERYONE is different, because the heart is a tricky thing. And therefore they must experience and learn from it on their own, in their own way. I guess that's where I come in...being the best friend I can...trying to have ALL the patience in the world. But patience is a virtue I DO NOT have.

I mean, it's like watching someone you love point a gun to her head, and no matter what you do, you can't talk her out of it. The gun-pointing resembles all the bad decisions your friend is making...well, that's what separates a TRUE friend from a FAUX one. A TRUE friend will stick by you...NO MATTER WHAT. Even if you don't necessarily agree with your friend's decision, you still have to try to steer her on the right path...and if she STILL doesn't listen, then YOU HAVE TO STAND BY HER through the storms. You can't reprimand her...yes, I DO get upset at my friends for putting themselves through the crap they go through, for LETTING someone make them feel like they don't deserve the best, when I KNOW just the opposite. But it's not their fault...the heart is a tricky thing, I just said it!!! DON'T EVER LET ANYONE  MAKE YOU LOOK DOWN UPON YOURSELF. IF YOU KNOW YOU'RE AMAZING, YOU'LL KNOW THAT ALL YOU DESERVE IS AMAZING. And it just keeps getting better and better, ey? This guy is just a step up to the next one...Mr. Right...Because No guy is worth your tears and THE ONE WHO IS, won't  make you cry. Man these are all quotes, I swear I'm going quote-crazy, but HEY. They're true, I'm serious.
I'm SO tired of getting hurt. I'm SO tired of seeing my friends hurting for the same reasons, too. But I learned quickly that you can't let a person change you into thinking that you're not worth his time of day. PUH-leeze. I also learned that it's NOT WORTH crying over someone who won't even catch your tears. I look back on my relationship with Francis and realize WHAT AN IDIOT I was to keep running after something that, in the end, was a waste of my energy. Then again, I always say that everything happens for a reason. So I guess I kept fighting for him to show myself that I did everything I could, it was out of my hands, and that it's not fair to me to be constantly trying to make things work ON MY OWN. A relationship takes two people. TWO PEOPLE. Not one running after the other. You'll find out soon enough that no matter how fast you run, he/she will always be a step or more ahead of you. It's only when he/she is willing to MEET YOU in the middle that the relationship will really work.
And I also learned that you can't keep looking at the past to determine your future. "Instead of wishing for the yesterdays, work on making your tomorrows even better." I mean, yes he WAS a great guy in the beginning. But it's all just an act to keep you in. Once the going gets tough, the asshole gets going. Hahaha.
And believe me, YOU DO DESERVE BETTER. I know you think that this is it, He's the ONE for you, there's no one BETTER than him. But you know, you'll think that during EVERY relationship. But every guy/girl you date is just a STEP UP to something even BETTER. Think about it as climbing a flight of stairs...like you're slowly climbing up to your goal of MR. RIGHT [I refer to misters and guys because I'm mostly directing this to my girls]. And always know that GOD has THE PERFECT ONE for you in mind...He's just using your immaturity [I say that meaning...we're all young. We're all immature still] right now to build you both up, to be ready for one another when you meet, so you will be prepared for THE LOVE OF A LIFETIME  Doesn't that sound good? Yes, it sounds AWESOME. Finding The One you're meant to be with...man, I can't wait for that day.

And I can't wait for the day when you, my lovely awesome best friends, figure out that YOU DON'T NEED this guy to make you happy. Focus your heart on the things that WILL ALWAYS be there for you: family, friends, YOUR PASSION [dancing ]...man.

And most of all, always look to GOD for comfort. He has GREAT plans for you [Jeremiah 29:11]...plans to prosper you and give you THE BEST future you could ever hope for...no, even a BETTER future than you could ever dream of, cuz HE'S GOD and HE WORKS WONDERS beyond your wildest imagination. He knows what He's doing guys, and He's putting you through the cheese grater right now for a reason...to make you stronger, to let you experience pain so you can come back to the people who really care for you...HIM, foremost. Because I put my trust in Him during my heartbreak, I was a lot better than I thought I could be, because He just gave me that comfort.

This is why I'm not looking to be in ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP any time soon. Yeah, I kind of stuck my foot in the water after getting out of the pool...but I'm still all pruney from being in it for so long, that I just need my time to get UN-pruney. I don't know if you know what I mean, but it's a funny metaphor  I'm serious. I'm just looking forward to being with my FRIENDS, meeting more friends and just having THE TIME OF MY LIFE during my freshman year @ SDSU. Hey, I'm dorming. Need I say more?  No need to get serious right now. I just got out of a HUGE amount of heartbreak, over the past few years.

As Ashlee Simpson says in her song "Love Me For Me":
I've been waiting all my life
To finally find you
Just so i can push you away
And when youre crawlin over broken glass to get to me
That's when i'll let you stay