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| so, today was actually a good day. aside from the typical bs at work, things are looking up again. it stormed really bad today at work and we lost power about 3 times so the kids were a little freaked out. i got a 78 (c+) on my science test. and tomorrow i don't have to work because its an inservice day and i have to listen to some boring junk from 9-3, buuuuuut i get paid for it and credit toward my 10 yearly inservice hours. so, it's been quite an ok day  | | |
| it's friday!!! i started my new job monday at my mom's elementary school in the after care program. it's ok. i like the majority of the kids, i just don't know what i want to do yet. i don't think working with lots of kids is in my future. the pay will be sweet. i work pretty much my last shift at bealls tomorrow. 12-5. whew!
here's the dilemma/complex i am having and tend to have during these sorts of occasions:
there's this guy (we went to hs together, we hooked up a few weeks a go in jax at a mutual friends' wedding) i like him, he likes me, we live 3 hours away from each other. this seems perfect for me. last monday he told me he was driving down to see me and i was super excited until about 5 minutes later when this "complex" hits me (again). all of a sudden i'm avoiding his calls, emails, etc. we chat today and realize it's not going to happen this weekend. as soon as that's out in the open, i'm fine and like him again and want to talk to him again. i can't figure it out. too tired to expound further | | |
| the promised rant is here:
The topic: Male expectaions
I was in a situation within the past 2 months and had to share a room with a male friend/ex. We hadn't seen each other in 5 years. so the first night i was ready to go to sleep and we ended up sharing a bed (only sharing the sleeping space!) He wanted more and i didn't. He launched into this 45 min talk about how much he really liked for the past 8 years or something and then when i said i was really tired he said "oh, I guess i never should have opened my mouth. i ruined my shot." Maytbe i was/am being oversensitive but to me that just screamed 'we're sharing a room, so we're sharing sex too'. I had no intention of anything like that happening with him. why did he seem to think that just bc i was in town i was going to literally sleep with him?! i felt really cheap and degraded bc i didn't think that was fair to me. i didn't walk into the situation with the idea that oh, i'm coming to town last minute (all the other rooms on base were booked)so i'm going to share this room and sleep with him too. Why does it seem like guys have these expectations like they deserve some kind of reward for being nice? Shouldn't you be nice bc it makes you and others feel good? if one walks into everyday situations expecting things in return i think one will be a very disappointed person. that has just really been bothering me and i have basically cut this person out of my life bc they feel they did nothing wrong with this thinking. guys suck! | | |
| so life.... is  right now. i had a really interesting chat with a friend today and we realized what an unusaul bond we share. how we hit this topic i don't remember, but we spent an extra 45 minutes talking today. she's pretty cool. i wouldn't have thought we would actually be friends but i guess we are. it's just irnoically funny what draws people togther. it seems that i attract people like me ( similar backgrounds/problems/etc) without trying to or knowing that that is what we have in common. could this be a possible God thing? hmm...
my next post will hopefully be a little later (after ben and jerry's) bc i have a huge issue i would like to throw out and see what anybody else ( both sexes) thinks. actually, that's putting it toooooo mildly-- i'll call it what it really is-- a RANT!!!  ttfn | | |
| so i got a car 2 weeks ago. it's a 2003 blue chevy cavalier. i like it and it's practical. i have been in physical therapy for 2 weeks now. the doctor said i tore everything on the left side of my back from the top of my shoulder to my hip. only 6 weeks or so left :). went to jax last weekend for a wedding of a girl from high school. it was weird seeing people i haven't seen in 5+ years but fun. i work this weekend. i talked to my mexican this week. she's doing ok. tomorrow is the first day of fall. i bet the leaves are already changing there in michigan  . not here though.
Oh 5 cool points to me: i applied at my mom's elementary school as a "group leader" in their aftercare and i got the job! i start all the fun paperwork stuff monday. it's going to be waaaay more money and that just rocks my world! i can't wait to start. hope all is well for yall up there! <3 Linz | | |
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