Currently Listening Every Second Counts By Plain White T's 5. Friends Dont Let Friends Dial Drunk see related

Friends Dont Let Friends Dial Drunk..

So I broke up with Saxon. I needed a break. I really did love him but I need to wait until he is home to have a real relationship, plus with all of thses new people I will be meeting.. I cant be tied down right now to someone so fara away.

I have a huge crush on this guy named matt from work. I like him a whole lot. Now heres the thing... he likes me too. We are talking... yet I still call it a crush? Thats because I feel like nothing will come out of it. He doesnt want a serious relationship, or as our friend larry says, hes afriad of one. He asks me to hang out then kinda blows me off and I am sick of it. he sends so many mixed signals that It drives me crazy. He says he misses me. He says he likes me a whole lot. Then blows me off like this. Today he said he was going to skip school (cause bd had school i did and we didnt) then he decided against it. I mean I cant ask him not to do to school but I mean I did look forward to it. And we were going to hang out tonight... but he has yet to call me so I am wondering whats happening there yano? Ugh.

For christ sake be straight foward with me.

This song is in my head right now. And It completely sums up how I am feeling... I mean not all of it applies but the message is the same.

Those are all very beautiful words
But actions speak louder
In case you haven't heard, I'm all alone
While you're out on the town drinkin' with your friends
You can say all these beautiful things
But they don't mean nothing
No, they don't mean a thing
Gotta back it up
But you keep backing down
Tell me how this ends

If you think it's possible then anything is possible
But I think you're impossible
I hope you prove me wrong

You only call me after you've had a few
You only want to hang out when you've got nothing to do
Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't
Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know

Same old thing happens every night
You get me going, and then you say goodbye
I'm heated up
And you just leave me there to take care of myself
Don't get mad, don't get all wound up
Just get your act together, or baby give it up
Just let me know if I should hit the road or if you want my help

If you think it's possible then anything is possible
But I think you're impossible
I hope you prove me wrong

You only call me after you've had a few
You only want to hang out when you've got nothing to do
Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't
Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know
You only call me when there's no one around
You only wanna come up when you know I'm going down
Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't
Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know

You gotta show me you mean it, if you really mean it
You're talking to me like you mean it, and I don't believe it

You only call me after you've had a few
You only want to hang out when you've got nothing to do
Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't
Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know
You only call me when there's no one around
You only wanna come up when you know I'm going down
Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't
Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know

You only call me after you've had a few (oh oh oh)
You only want to hang out when you've got nothing to do (oh oh oh)
Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't
Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know

If this ofends you then dont read it! Or print it off, cause you really cant do much to me now...

So I feel like I have abandoned my original blog. I miss it. So here I am. Mostely because no one reads xanga anymore and what I wrote on myspace got me in trouble.

1. If you dont like what I write DONT READ IT! I have the right to write whatever I feel like. Plus I am graduating in 5 months.. so i really dont care about you or your opinions.

Yeah. Got blackmailed off the gymnastics team. Kinda sucks, but really the only thing thats going to be sucking this year is the team. Really. I have nothing left to prove. I already am the ebst gymnast that that school has ever seen... Rondie said so in the little letter given to me saying I need to apologize and be punished for having an opinion. eff that. And Little Miss Sammi got what she wanted.. sorta. Really she isnt the best on the team... i think kirsten can beat her and I hope kirsten beats her and gets both of the things she awnts, MVP and Captain. And really.. I got what she wanted in cheerleading.. I made all stars and all conference and oh.. what was that? It was my first year. If she thinks she is makeing me realyl that unhappy shes not. I am just laughing at her feeble attempts to earn her some kind of name besides pyschoitic girl whos in love with some guy who doesnt love her back. I am directly addressing her.. because thats the only person who I was addressing in my last letter and somehow I hate the team. Whatever... have fun trying to pass 70 this year.

Heh, its funny, from what I hear... half the cheer squad is mad at you (Sam) for spreading rumors about their own. Must suck to have so little confidence that you have to beliddle and blackmail others to make yourself look better. OH YEAH I forgot that you didnt do it. You swear up and down that you didnt. Well you thought about it and thinking about it is enough. The fact that its your fault that I wrote the thing and you STILL sit there trying to look like you are innocent and that you are the bigger person is enough to earn you a one way ticket to never talking to me again. Yeah, I guess at one poinjt we were best friends.. i think that was 6th grade.. because after that all you have ever done is be my friend then turn around and stab me in the back. Good bye.

Um... Everything else is going good. I have the best friends anyone could ask for.. Lib, Alonna, Luke, Ryan, and Shawn, and the best non-cheating boyfriend too, Mr Saxon. But if he ever did cheat on me, no matter how much I love him, I would have to give him the boot. Because I am confident in myself, finally. I do love him a lot, and I believe he may be the one, but only time will tell. Lib is great and getting married here in 5 months to Adam! Wa-hoo! I get to be in the wedding and I am oh-so very excited about it. (oh sammi, liz said you were un-invited) Alonna and I are going to room together at UE and we are going down there this thursday to watch a basketball game. We are going to cheer there too! Waaay fin. Yep evertyhing is going relitively well... I am content.

later!

I just dun even know

You might ask what I have been doing all summer long

I might answer with a Nothing Special, just working...

and its true.

I miss hanging out wiht my friends... every summer I say its going to be different but its not... I always get wrapped up in something... I am just a sucker.

I havent finished my homework. I am dumb.

I am still lonely and single. wa-hoo.

Senior year, here I come....

=\

Seniors Oh Seven

The first real day of summer... the balmy, hot, uncomfortable air... the waking up and not showering because there is no point... the fact that my dad fell asleep watching history channel but I am not allowed to change it because as soon as I do, he will wake up... and the prospect of many, many more days beginning like this...

WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?

Well, I do have to read three books, and for each of these books do a post-it activity, write a paper, and find a poem that relates to the book, and there is probably some homework coming from hofer and AP Econ, and possibly even Berg and Physics 2.. because I have never entered an AP class where there wasnt a homework assignment... Ah, I put this apon myself.

My junior year was a relitively good year, I must say. Nothing bad happened, no bad relationships, no hardships, just.. school... and it was relitively drama free.. I mean, ok, there was the occasionally girl drama but eventually, after a while one just tends to stop paying attention and ignores the OMG look who hes with and what she did and ugh i hate that whore... And thats what I did. Actually, I removed myself from the conversations. I have plenty of other friends who talk of cooler things, like making fun of action jackson, or video games, or our prospective senior pranks. Oh yes Oh yes. Guys are so much cooler than girls. And right now, I dont have any drama... at all.

I am leaving this year in a good mood, because i only have one year left of this esbestus (not spelled correctly... shut up) filled hole, and then I am out. And I want to make it the best. I have been with these kids for going on seven years now.. and most of them, after this, I wont talk to.. not out of choice.. well, some out of choice... but out of parting of ways... because we are all going different ways...

Do I feel like a senior? Nope, I feel just like I did last summer: sleep deprived, hungry, and dirty due to the lack of desire to move and take a shower. I have all of this stuff next year filling my plate, 3 AP classes, along with a dual credit course and math, which is always tough... cheerleading, gymnastics, and hopefully ill run track if gymnastics has left me all in one piece. I plan on trying to do student council and NHS, cause they both look good on the college ap.. while balencing some kind of job and staying in the gym. This summer seems only slight less busy, three jobs, gymnastics practice, cheerleading practice, and finding time to spend with the kids I only have a year left with...

Costs? Insurance, gas, rah-rah expenses, gymnastics expenses, cell phone bill, food, and general good time having (concerts, movies, going out with the kids I only have one year left with..)

notice how I stress the one year left? Yeah, I am pretty bummed about that.. one year then class reunions where I will see their new wives/husbands, kids, jobs, lack of jobs, etc...

So here is the Summer Agenda:
1. Get jobs/seceduals for sports in order in order
2. Clean Duh's pool -- get a tan. (yes.. same as last summer)
3. Attend Panic! At the Disco concert with Donahue and Jamie.
4. Proove Nate wrong that we ARE going to follow through with out plans.
5. Hang with Liza before she leaves me for Random college A for her sophmore year..
6. Have lots of fun
7. Sleep
8. Eat
9. Loose 10 lbs
10. Finish Homework

lots to do.. two months to do it in... CHIIIIIIIIN!

sorry, kind of long one... I am going to go attempt to change the television to something more interesting.. because I have seen this show on the da vinci code a million times.

<3 to everyone!

hay...

WE'RE SENIORS!!!

Its been awhile

Ah, well, a lot and nothing has happened sine my last update. I still feel out of the loop, but i dont mind. I know that if anything will ever happen then I will end up knowing.

Prom was absolutely amazing. I loved it. I danced almost the entire time with mark and geoff and duh and various other people. Post prom was not everything I expected but hya, what is? cept, well, prom exceeded expectations and im alright with that. then two hours of sleep and Kings island which we were all exausted for, so it was really funny. You know.. sleep deprivation = slap happy kids in ohio.

School is frustrating, i devoted 12 hours last week to the college board, much more than i ever have wanted to spend. my brain is still fried. two ap exams and sats. there is so much due this week i dont even want to talk about it... man0man.

theres my update. woo.

I miss liza, i cant wiat to show her pics from prom. oh yes.

Josh carrigg updated.. in case anyone wanted to know... i know i know, very out of character.. but hay yano hes spontaneous sometimes.. haha

hrm.

i want to talk to this one guy.

im done

im off like a dress on prom night!!!!!! haha