simply_CHESA's Xanga

Friday, April 27, 2007

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 00:49:21 GMT

Hello Xanga! Ok, I know it's been a few months since I last blogged. But I'm not the type that bloggs everyday, so I guess it's fine!

Lately, I've been double-overload with school. I really just can't wait till summer, but then that means I'm going to be a Senior. It's kind of crazy to think that a month from now I'm going to be known as a Senior. High School truly went by super fast, & that makes me sad. I wish sometimes that time would actually take its time. I thought sophomore year went by fast, but Junior year is goice twice as fast! But before this month quickly zooms by theres still SATS & Finals. Now I am definitely not looking forward to that.

I'm so scared thinking about colleges. I'm already stressing out about college stuff and applications! I feel so lost in this situation. Or atleast in what college I want to attend. For the longest time I wanted to be a dentist, and then everything shifted. I wanted to be a nurse, then I wanted to be an entrepreneur. My mind is wandering everywhere. I just want to end up having a career that I absolutely love, and that also pays good too. I mean, who doesnt want that? The future is frightening to think of, but I know I should already plan stuff out NOW!

So, Prom happened last weekend, the 21st of April. I suprisingly had a really good time. It's not that I didn't expect to, but I guess I thought that I had to babysit. Actually scratched that, I guess I was nervous a bit. I mean 2-3 months ago I wouldn't even think of taking him to prom, or even becoming in the position we are in now. After that night, I felt like his friend again, and that's what made my night. It was just nice to be with him for once. Okk, besides that, it seemed that everyone brought a good date. Most of us were all friends too, so that made it less akward for people who didn't go to SI. Um, then the after party. That was pretty crazy. I was actually proud of myself cos' I didn't even do anything that is considered "bad." It was weird tho. Oh well, I still had a good time. All of us are still on our prom hype tho! & I have SH's on Saturday. =]

Ok, till next time.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:55:58 GMT

Boored. & Just for fun. =]

+ date: January 31, 2007; Justin Timberlake's Birthday!	
+ time: 5.42pm
+ name: francesca
+ age: 16
+ birthday: june 26
+ school: SI

BASIC
+ eyes: brown
+ hair: brown
+ height: 5`
+ shoe size: 5ish
+ who lives with you: Mom & little sister
+ when is your bedtime?: I try to sleep around 11

HAVE YOU EVER...
+ flown on a plane: a couple of times
+ ever been so drunk you blacked out: Yeah
+ missed school because it was raining: Yup
+ put a body part on fire for amusement: No war
+ been hurt emotionally: Yes
+ cried during a movie: many times
+ been on stage: of course
+ cut your hair: Yes
+ had a crush on a teacher: haha No

FAVORITE
+ shampoo: gartier fructis. 
+ fav color: purple
+ day/night: night
+ summer/winter: summer, my birthday.
+ lace or satin: sure
+ person to talk to face to face: nick
+ person to talk to on the phone: gary 
+ person to talk to online: everyone

RIGHT NOW YOU ARE...
+ wearing: swears, 555soul sweater, & a t-shirt
+ eating: nada
+ drinking: nothing at all
+ listening to: Justin Timberlake- Another Song

HAVE YOU EVER... IN THE LAST 24 HOURS
+ cried: No
+ worn jeans: yessuh
+ met someone new online: Nope
+ done laundry: Noo
+ drove a car: Yeah
+ talked on the phone: yeaah

DO YOU BELIVE IN...
+ yourself: sometimes
+ your friends: my true friends
+ tooth fairy: No
+ destiny/fate: kind of
+ angels: sure.
+ ghosts: yeah 
+ UFO's: noo

FRIENDS & LIFE
+ do you ever wish you had another name?: Yes
+ do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: nope
+ do you like anyone?: nope
+ which one of your friends acts the most like you?: thats tough
+ which friend have you known the longest?: Virgilio
+ who do you go to for stuff?: Caitlin
+ who do you hang around the most?: right now, alyssa, mel, & vash

OTHERS
+ Keep a diary?: no, i keep a journal 
+ Like to cook?: I prefer baking
+ Fold your underwear?: Yeah
+ Talk in your sleep?: don't think so
+ Set your watch a few minutes ahead?: No
+ Bite your fingernails?: Nope
+ Believe in love?: i guess

LAST...
+ Movie you rented? It's been awhile
+ Movie you bought?: OTH Season 3 DVD, if that counts
+ Movie you watched?: Freedom Writers
+ Song you listened to?: (Another Song) All Over Again
+ Song that was stuck in your head?: Truth Is- Fantasia
+ Song you've downloaded?: a JT one
+ CD you bought?: can't remember
+ CD you listened to?: Chesa's Slow Jams. haha
+ Person you've called?: Gary
+ Person that's called you?: Dad
+ TV show you've watched?: Passions
+ Person you were thinking of?:Alyssa

DO...
+ You wish you could live somewhere else?: Sometimes.
+ Others find you attractive?: Dont know
+ You want more piercings?: Yes, hopefully I'll get it next month
+ You want a tattoo?: Want one, but I won't get one
+ You drink?: Yes
+ You do drugs?: Nope
+ You smoke?: no 
+ You like cleaning?: only my room
+ You like roller coasters?: Yeah
+ You write in cursive or print?: Print

HAVE YOU...
+ Ever cried over a boy/girl?: Yup, sadly
+ Ever lied to someone?: Yess
+ Ever been in a fist fight?: No
+ Ever been arrested?: Nope


NUMBER
+ Of times I have been in love?: Never
+ Of times I have had my heart broken?: once?
+ Of boys I have kissed on the lips?: hmm.
+ Of boys I have made out with?:uh..haha 
+ Of people I consider my enemies?: No one
+ Of CDs that I own?: a lot!
+ Of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: millions of times.
+ Of things in my past that I regret?: Nada.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 00:52:05 GMT

The school year has begun...well the first quarter is over & done with. I wish I did better, but I tried hella hard. You can't always expect everything to be good. I guess. School is nuts. It's hard. I have so much weight put on me due to the load of homework. But it's ok I guess. It's nothing I can't handle. haha The first semester isn't even done, why am I complaining already?

Man' I miss Him so much, it's crazy. He drifts away from my mind time to time, but then he comes. Up until Saturday I haven't seen him for almost 2 months, which is weird for me. Going from everyday to 2 months. I miss him being there for me for support and always cheering me up if I was down. I miss his presence & the way he made me feel happy. I miss my BestFriend. I can only take & do so much for him, and if that wasn't enough to make him realize that I was going to be there for him through everything. then maybe it's time to let it go.

I miss my sister alot. i get so lonely at home sometimes. & i have no one to really talk to if there's something bothering me. I miss doing errands with my sister. I just miss her being around the house. It's hard for me now, just cos' I'm the eldest. & not having a dad around is still scary for me.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 02:58:20 GMT

"Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet." Indeed it did. Summer 2006 has truly been a rollercoaster for me. With all the loops, drops, unexpected turns, at the end it was thrilling & fun!I had my times of happiness & definitely my moments of sadness. I've made the most of my summer, yet I made my mistakes. Although, I must say this summer was one hell of a ride.

June; The beginning of what I thought would be a boring/useless summer. I was proved wrong. This month, bonded with cool peoplee that I ended up seeing mostly everyday of my summer! Volunteering at Seton was fun, especially having a Bonus 1-3 times a week at 12:45-1:00! haha Sleepovers &whatnot were a joy. An event occurred that I thought was never possible again. I was happily proven wrong, again. I turned the sweet 16 too. On my birthday, I felt as if INDEED I have met my friends for life. =]

July; This month was the most intense for me. As this month started, I was at my peak. & everything was going as I hoped for. I had the opportunity to get closer to new people. Also, my friendships with the people that I was close to kept growing & growing. My home became everyones house that people raided. Ofcourse when you're sky high, you have to fall down sometime. I had my moment of dissappointments to myself & another at the end of this month. I made a mistake & cost me my friendship with one of my best friends. Not getting into detail, but if I had a chance I'd try to make things better. For just a moment I felt so alone.

August; So as the last month didn't end in a good note, I knew I had to make things good, for myself. I partied with "B," finally after 7 months! Somewhat learned how to drive stick. Had my first "photoshoot" haha. I met tons of new people. I volunteered at the Pistahan, which was a good experience. I spent more time with my family during this month. Grew up. I unexpectedly reunited with my old best friend. & for some reason, it made me feel alot better. As one ends, I hope another friendship is forming.

As my summer concludes in four days, I have to say that I learned a lot this summer. I learned more about myself, and I believed I had a little growth. With all the mistakes I've made & all the upsets that occurred throughout the summer, my summer was still worthwhile. I may have had my downfalls, but I learned to deal with the difficult situations that come my way. But hey! Once you're down the only way is to go back up! This summer was truly a blessing. I had fun & I enjoyed it especially with the ones I spent it with. So as these four days rapidly roll by, I will make the most of what has become one of thee best summers. I will definitely miss Summer. I guess all good things must come to an end.

**I feel like he put me on a pedastool & then when I messed up it became such a big deal to him! I understand where his frustration is coming from, but it's not a Huge deal that cost Us. Man, this is a dissappointment for myself. But I gotta deal with it!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 14:48:54 GMT

My goodness. Havent blogged on this shit for forever! But now that it is finally summer I guess I have time to talk about the things that have been going on in my life. Things have just been hectic for the past months, but now I'm trying to ease things..I guess.

So, I'm finally a Junior...not finally, I can't believe I already am a Junior! I've completed half of my High School life. It's hard to believe that in two years I will be faced with the difficulties that college will offer me. But anyways, so I'm a Junior. Wow. Not quite sure if I'm ready for all the "hard stuff" being that Junior year is supposably the hardest. yikes. But hey! gotta face the difficulties.

Family business. Well, nothing has really change. I'm use to all of the shit that happened & the situation I've been going through. But I can only live with it so mine as well make the most of it. Besides all that drama, me & the family have been good. No big arguments with my mother and I'm getting along with Gel much more than before. I guess it's cos' I miss her alot since she's never at my Mother's cos' she's always at my Dad's. It gets hard at times that I see her once a week, but that's Ok. Well my older sister is off to college in 3 months. That is not enough time due to her practices and work, and me with my volunteer hours & friends. (friends consume alot of my time). But anyways, it hasn't really hit me that she'll be leaving me. Seeing her once every two weeks, wow. I've been living in denial cos' I won't have that someone to go to at the house. Besides that, I'm proud of her accomplishments at SI. So, me with the family are good.

Lately I've been having this aching feeling between my friends and I. I have definitely gain and formed new friendships, but I also lost a few. My "kick-it" gang are always cool to be with tho! My trues have always been there for me, so between them its cool Ever since Seton I've been getting alot close with Bianca & Tara, which is cool. They're my OG cast. haha. But since I hardly talk to them during the school year it's nice to have them to talk to and be around while doing my volunteer hours. Things have change with my "GNOG" gang. I miss them so much, and I miss how things use to be between us. But I understand that we grow apart. Although, we're always going to be here for each other, no doubt about it. I wish I could gain it all back cos' they were all my good friends, and I would love to have them around more.

Feelings do change everything. As much as I want things to be right between him & i, it probably won't for awhile. Since we haven't been on eachother's "hype" for the longest time, we grew apart. I mean it was great not having feelings for him & it was easier to do thngs. But I never knew it would cost our friendship. I certainly do miss him as my best friend, and at times I wish I never had feelings for him. Just cos' I was the person he could confide in even before anything happened between us. Sure we hang out still, but it's not the same as before. I thought I wouldn't feel anything for him anymore, but recently it somewhat came back. I've just been indenial to admitting that. We've been at this for so long, and I get sick & tired of it. I just dont understand why I would wnat to give it another try. But anyways, sum it all up, I just need him as a friend, best friend, right now.

So, I'm turning the big 1-6 on monday. haha Not really that big, but whatever. Sixteen. whoopy. Honestly I'm not that excited just cos' some of my friends won't be here. Also, I didn't plan on anything exceept my mom is throwing my sister & I a party for her graduation and my birthday celebration. Well hopefully my sixteenth year will be great! =)

oO wee! Summer is here! ;). For the most part summer has been very good to me. Plus there is excellent weather! My summer composed of just chillen' with my friends, no late night hypes yet but soon will! I hope to spend alot more time with my family and cousins this summer, like last year. Maybe party with our good friend "b" tho. haha. kk, well that's the insight of my life right now. I congratulate you for taking 5 minutes of your time to read this caca! hahaha.Take care.

<3*chesa

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 01:58:46 GMT

112904-112905. cant believe a year has passed since the day when everything started to change, my whole life, whole world did. I was reassured that 'everything will be fine.' yet why don't i feel like it is. I wish I could back to the days when we were all together. Sometimes I feel like I took the time I had for granted when instead I should of cherished them. From this whole year, I've learned to appreciate more things in life just because you never know when it's going to be taken away from you like, your family.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 01:03:41 GMT

SO, it's almost been 2 months since I've actually written on this. I know, very long. Updates; life has been mediocre. Nothing exciting nor spectacular has happened. Boring, huh? pretty much. I have stumbled on cool things like meeting new people & hanging out with new people.

Family life, what else can say? I mean I do have to deal with everything whether I like it or not. But, sadly I'm getting use to it even if it still kills me inside. Other than that, I guess the rest of my family is cool.

School; School just gets tougher everyday. Lots of work, stressful. By the end of the day I'm pretty much knocked out. I don't even know how I manage to do everything. Oh! & Winter Pops is coming up soon. Pretty stoked for that. last year was very much indeedy fun, this year seems 'ok.' I hella miss the seniors from last year. No one bugs me anymore. Boo!

Anything else? love life; HAH! sick of that. haha. Um, I'm going to SH's Winter Formal. I don't know if I'm up for going to my Christmas Dance. Maybe I'll take that offer to go to the Westmoor one. NOW, that sounds coool. Plus, I see the SI kiids everyday, why not try something new, right? yess. Can't wait till Thanksgiving, just the thought of it already makes me hungry! lol.

Random Thoughts: I miss cousin-bonding. Getting *twinkled. I miss having late night talks with my Kuya Oink. I miss Airon being hella hyper & annoying me! HA. I absolutely miss the summer days & how everything seemed at peace. & I was 'happy' & not stressed. I want to get a job so I can stop living off my parents money & feel independent. I miss him. & I need to prepare myself for the upcoming events! haha.

Last Year the Men's Chorus from my school sang a song called, "Till the Stars Fall from the Sky." & it's absolutely beautiful & sweet..

"I am yours now and forever,
till the stars fall from the sky."

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 14:34:51 GMT

Once again, school is piling up day by day. The classwork is overloading and class topics are getiting harder. 'AHH!' Well, at least I don't get a lot of homework, but studying everyday is none the less a pain the ass. haha. oh well, I'll survive. Luckily one of my teachers went on retreat thereofre I have time to catch up on my studying for some of my classes. And how am I occupying my time? writing on xanga. lol. I just needed to blogg for a second so now I am. Lately a lot of people are going through a whole lot of deal, and I'm deeply saddened by it. During summer, everything seemed so bullshit free & such a breeze. Now that school has begun, everyone just seems to have their minds everywhere. this shhucks. well hope everyone finds their piece of happiness! =).

--b4 & after is such a good song; "after my heart was broken. boy, it reopened for you&me." ;).

bell jsut rung. LUNCH! byeness.

-*-Chesa

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 19:35:41 GMT

hola! havent been up in this in awhile. for some odd reason, school is going by hella fast. why? i dont know. things are going by so quick. I have to even start planning for college now. That is according to my counselor. goodness, thought about college already? well, it doesn't matter because my main goal is to go to UOP & then get my dentistry thingy & become a dentist. Or so i thought. My mind is scattered about what i want to be, just a little bit. OH WELL! I'll figure this out later. everything else besides school seems to be cool. Social life, it's always fun. I met new people from different schools, again! whoo-hoo! haha. i miss summer a lot though. i miss spending time with gina & our 2 boy toys. haha! it was fun though,. i miss bonding with my cousins & getting *twinkled* with them. L0L. geez, have to wait till next year. On a much, much brightter note, One Tree Hill Season 2 is out. I haven't had the time to buy it. I'm hoping by this weekend it will be in my hands. haha. Ok, until next time.

-chesa

Monday, September 05, 2005

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 17:01:29 GMT

so last night, while i was on the phone with Alyssa & Gary, they too made me think about the past. They made me reminisce too much. haha. ok! it's hella weird thinking about what happened a year ago & now. It's funny to think that, wow! sophmore already. time flies by super fast. I truly miss my St. Charles days, also known as my Carre free days. It's weird, how I only see thee "family" at least once a month, yet we still hella cool. & i guess that's the importance of our friendship. I can still look at them, thinking they are the same person from two years ago. I hella miss those days, just because of the "family" or the whole class in general. We all hella clicked & there was hardly any drama/beef between us All. goodness, i love them. Now, in the "high school" days, I've met so many cool kids & experience a lot. By the way, I feel like i befriended everyone from OLM. YAWK! haha. joke. but can't hate cos' I met six people from that class who happened to become my good friends. Anyways, my friends that I've become really good friends with, The Dysfunctional Sistaz & Girls Night Out Gang, have made such a big impact on my life. I didnt know that I would find such great friends in a short amount of time. I went through a whole lot last year, & it really effected/affected me, but I was lucky to have found & befriended with all the friends i have now cos' they helped me look to the brighter side. this is so sappy..=T. haha.

"time is of the essense."

a year ago.

--Francesca