| simply_erin08 |
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read my profile sign my guestbook  Name: Erin Country: United States State: Indiana Metro: Greenwood Birthday: 8/26/1985 Gender: Female Interests: Literature, chemistry, politics, God, interesting discussions, Delta Zeta, long walks, people who are real, small towns, country drives, picturesque places, being completely crazy, laughing until I cry, writing .... you get the idea. The list could go on forever. Expertise: I'm not really sure I've developed an expertise. Currently I'm a jack of all trades and a master of none. Occupation: Student Industry: Other Message: message me AIM:  swisschick8504
Member Since: 5/23/2005 |
Thursday, January 26, 2006
| Here is the deal. It has come to my attention that someone with whom I do not converse or wish to read this site has, in fact, been reading it. And through this, other unfortunate things have happened to a person I care for very much. So, my decision is to not write here anymore. My thoughts (disclaimer: directed in no way at any one person or group of people. It by no means applies to a majority of people who will read this. It may not apply to anyone. Please take it at face value, and for what it is: my journal.): Stop. Stop judging, stop tattling. Stop making assumptions without consulting the source. I am so very disappointed. I realize my site is public, and as such I only post things that are suitable for most (if not all) to read. And if you wish to judge me on this censored version of self, then I feel sorry for you. But not everyone intends for others to read their words, and as such, reading them is a violation of privacy, and to judge based upon the limited facts presented is ... horrible. To tell someone to censor their initial feelings that they did not intend for anyone else to see is, in my mind, unrealistic. I feel sorry for those who feel the need to make everyone color inside the lines of their narrow world, their narrow view of what Christianity is. And I could honestly give a damn what you think of me. Yes, that's right. I just swore. Does that impugn my character? Because I am angry and I said damn? Maybe in your eyes. Maybe my life is not so black and white. Think I've "walked away" or "strayed from the path." Go ahead. Tolerance. Love. Treating people as you would like to be treated. Getting the truth and not jumping to conclusions. Being able to accept and love those around you without making them feel like they are dirt. These are things Jesus did for those who loved him, those to whom he ministered. I've closed the door on the part of my life that is incredibly conservative. I no longer understand that mindset, and some of the actions people have taken against me in the past based upon that mindset. I can't believe God wants us to treat each other that way. So, unless I ask you into my life, I would appreciate you not spying on me. I would appreciate you not judging me based upon your shallow view of who I am from this site, or from rumors you hear that may or may not be true. But if you judge, have the courage to say it to me. Don't be a coward. God is love. Do you ever stop to think the fact that the Church is struggling in many ways is not because my generation is Godless and hates Christianity, and more that the Church has not loved people effectively? Has not ministered to the hearts of men and women effectively? Has made Christianity about rules and regulations and codes and committees and ... as an afterthought ... the relationship. They would say otherwise, but look closer. Read Captivating if for nothing else than to hear that the Christian woman in America is TIRED. She is comitteed and soccer-momed and everything-ed out. There is a mold that the church as a whole asks their women to fit. And news flash: most of us aren't built that way. We want more. And our generation is sick of empty churches, fake religion. At least I am. So ... that is my rant. My final soapbox. Love others. Be a light, a positive influence. Be the change you wish to see in the world, as Ghandi said. Sometimes I feel like some Christians will never get it. They don't see the damage they do, all nestled snug and safe in their churches (not that I'm against churches - I think they are good). Look around. See the need of those around you. That need is not to have you shove religion and God and Jesus down their throats. That need is love, unconditional love from God, through YOU. Not your judgement or your harsh words, or your misconception. Jesus ate with prostitutes. What would happen if a prostitute walked into a church here, either in Greenwood or Greencastle, or any other mid-sized conservative town? She would be effectively shunned, and told to clean up her act. What about my gay friends? What if I wanted to bring them with me to church in Greenwood? Would they be welcome if they were earnestly seeking God? I wanted to think so, but my experience led otherwise. And my experiences and the experiences of others could go on forever, both with how we have been treated by churches and old youth groups, and how they have mistreated our friends, our guests. I'm done. This thing is more trouble than it's worth. And I realize I probably just made a few more enemies with this entry, but it is my last, and there were things I needed to say. Until we meet again, may you all continue to grow, change, love, and prosper. THE END | |
Monday, January 23, 2006
| Indiana is cold, flat, and sans ocean. This more upsetting than usual,
since I spent 15 days in a place that was warm, mountainous, and had
two coasts. Oh, and its name translates to "rich coasts". Think it was
beautiful and amazing? Well, you would be right. I'm not even going to try to make you, dear reader, understand why this place stole my heart, why it is so amazing, why I feel like I should never have left, and why I have to go back there. The truth is, I don't know what the specific reasons are myself. But I know it stole my heart from the first glimpse I got out the plane window, and the more I experienced, the more I loved it, cold showers and all. I have realized all the more the perspective I was lacking, the things I was lacking in myself that I was looking for in outside endeavors. I come back more experienced, more confident, a more whole person than I left. And some changes must be made in my life. My priorities are different now, and I have discovered through some time without people from home, email, or cell phone access that ... there are things and people I didn't miss, or miss the way I was supposed to for the priority they have in my life. So, things must change. I encourage you all to travel. Go somewhere where the culture fascinates you, take risks and truly experience it. I promise you will come back different. If you'd like to know more about the details of the trip, I am more than willing to share with you. Get in contact with me (IM, call, email). This thing may be retired after this entry is done. If that is the case, I would hope I don't lose contact with any of you, but if it so happens, I wish you happiness, growth, fulfillment, and contentment in your life ahead. I hope you have challenges to meet, someone to support you, love you, and someone to share the journey with. As for me ... all in good time. | |
Friday, January 06, 2006
| 5 hours ..... Bye bye, USA. | |
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
| It's just hit me. On Saturday, I will be in one of the most beautiful countries in the world. On Sunday, I will be in the mountains of Costa Rica, in the world-famous botanical gardens of Los Cruces. I really, really can't wait. Only, I know I'm not going to want to come back. It's going to be one of those "I'm leaving part of myself in this place" things. So weird to think about. So....packing up. Strange, strange, strange. So excited. | |
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
| The world is good again: back at DePauw. | |
