OMG.. my xanga is HIDEOUS!
The layout is disgusting.
My picture is old.
Somehow, the page got widened (dont ask me how it happened because i dont know)
But now xanga has so many changes that I dont even know where to start... makes me feel overwelmed.

My lovely aunt came again and left. This time, we took a roadtrip to Boston, which went pretty well except for the confusion of roads. My goodness, American roads are incredibly confusing, maybe iam just not used to it all.
No other thoughts on Boston except how busy it is, yet the country side was to die for... it was incredibily gorgeous.

There was something that I wanted to add about my last post. Truthfully, the storm wasnt what I intially wanted to write about. It was just that when I went to bed the night of the storm.. it made me think of something that was even more important than the future. It was the rain that took a strike at my thoughts. The rain-- its all over the place... it touches everything within its reach and it reminded me of the time when I was trying to run away from my past. I remember that night, I was running in the rain.. striving to get home as quickly as I could carry myself. I was soaked head to toe, I couldnt see clearly where I was going, it was dangerous and there was lightening. The more I ran, the more it began to pour. It was then I realized that my past is everywhere. It touches me everywhere I go and Iam covered in it. Iam made up of the past... mostly of my own past. It was as if, the more I ran, I couldnt go beyond its reach because its everywhere. It was nearly impossible to get out of it just as it is impossible to try to erase my own past. It was so unnatural of me when I come to think about it. Perhaps I was angry at the time. I was angry at so many things and I had never felt this way before...

Sometimes I wonder.. that if I dont fall in love here on earth, will I fall in love when I go to heaven?


_J. Leung

Can you believe it? My first year of university is done! Iam excited, yet happy for the summer.
So iam now working at subway. I absoblutely LOVE IT! And whats funny is that I thought I blew the interview. What happened was that I arrived 10 minutes early for my interivew and then the manager offers me a soda while I wait for her to finish up whatever she had to finish. The interivew was going smoothly until when I got up to shake her hand, my soda spilled ALL OVER ME AND ALL OVER THE TABLE! I was wearing white too and I was so embarassed, thinking to myself, omg way to go to give a first impression! Luckily, she said I was  hired before it even happened hahaha!! And whats ironic is that she is apparently very happy with me so she gave me more hours.. iam working nearly 30 hours a week! To some people, 30 hours is nothing, but hello! I need a life!!
Oh well.. its alright I guess... more hours means more money!=D yay!

Now for a little update about myself....
I finally hit the big 20. I cant believe I've been living for 2 decades. 20 years is a very long time lol. But yes, its a period of time that everybody goes through and everybody grows more mature during the years of 20. Iam glad I've started it. Its been a little bit different..
I moved out of vanier residence at york. Its been a dramatic year and i enjoyed every moment of it. I've made SO many good friends and i have to admit, a few enemies. I've changed a little this year, but I dont think its a BIG change at all. During last summer, I was told that Iam a little TOO nice. At first, I didnt understand.. i mean, what's the deal with being nice?? I ignored it for the longest time thinking that there is nothing wrong with me, but you know, their right. I guess being too nice can be a huge problem..people can take advantage of that and you end up being the one getting stepped all over on. From my previous blogs, I probably sounded really angry with a few things. To be honest, i was struggling a lot with this issue and Iam trying to change. And I think until this day, I have not changed completely, but in some ways, I have. Sometimes, it makes me struggle between being the good Christian girl to the girl that you shouldnt mess with. I was just thinking that being a Christian doesnt mean you have to be EXTREAMLY nice to the point where you become the stepping stone. A Christian must have their own boundaries too. I dont think that just because Christians are nice people, they shouldnt be taken advantage of. At the same time for myself, its time that I take stand for myself. At this process of change, I've learned that I lack a lot of courage. I need courage in order to change. Iam still struggling a lot with this.
I've started singing more in public and doing more performances, mostly at church. Its been great so far even though I still get a lot of butterfies lol. But iam working on it.. I think its helping me with my struggling of gaining more courage.

Summer plans..
My new years resolution this year is to help people from missions to community work to helping my neighbours change their lightbulb lol. I've always wanted to help people and I think that this summer is a great opportunity for me to do that.
In Addition.. i want to be more open to the society. I need more ideas and inspiration for my art and critical thinking in art and society.

lol a lot to say here eh? Well, that's not completely everything. In fact this is probably only 1/4 of my updates. I've decided that Iam not going to put down literally everything in this blog because I get lots of people that read it and it cuts off my personal interaction with them. I would tell someone something about me and then they'd be like "oh you told me" or "oh i read it in your blog" gahhh.. cant they act like they dont know anything for once?? stupid people lol.

Well, that's it for now.

_J. Leung<3