| Change..oh how I'm becoming to despise thee!In October, I changed my home page on my laptop to no longer be Xanga, and I also deleted my MySpace and Facebook accounts. Sounds extreme, eh? Well, it was mainly because these silly things had become my OBSESSION. I spent so much time trying to figure out what my friends were up to, that I almost failed a class (yes, I say it was this, because if it wasn't, then I would have been more awake to actually GO to class...) However, I did not fail. So, after my main papers and projects were done for the semester, I came back to the wonderful world wide web (although I am no longer convinced it is so wonderful). Well, since I'm back...here's the scoop... 1. Landon and I are no longer together. Which kinda stinks...we actually broke up shortly after I wrote my last blog. Huh...don't I feel silly. I ranted and raved about the amazing-ness of this boy, and now we're no longer together. However, just for the record, I still think he's amazing, and he will make some girl a very amazing husband...someday. 2. I am no longer a college student. I flunked out. Okay, so I didn't flunk...I just graduated. It is amazing to never have to go back to college again! Haha..although, they are holding my diploma because of a silly library book..that I accidentally left in my OLD apartment...and I have no way of getting back in until after the first of the year. Regardless, I am a college graduate. One semester early. One extra major (yup...I was a double major!) 3. I now live in Springfield, Missouri...also known as Spring-hiddy for those who know me well enough. Haha..I have an amazing roommate. Her name is Denee...and we have a 3-bedroom, 2 bathroom house. It's awesome to not have to worry about what is going on below us (in an apartment) or how loud WE are. It's great. 4. I work at a church. Ridgecrest Baptist Church. I am the Childhood Ministry Assistant. That's really just a fancy name for me being a secretary. But it's all good. I love it. Not gonna lie. Jesus and I are kind of on the outs...okay, so I'M the one on the outs. I don't understand it sometimes. When Landon and I broke up, I prayed harder and MORE than when we were together. That's when I got this job. That's when everything started coming together. Now, I don't know what to think. There's this nice little space...and I don't know what to do with it. However, my ever-so-wise Bible study leader told me a few weeks ago that it is in that silence that God trusts us to still trust him. Kinda weird, huh? God's silence is like a test for me to see if I truly trust him enough to understand that he is still there even when I don't hear him. I still see him. All the time. I still feel him. I just don't hear him like I used to. Except for recently. Which is a blessing. I hear him telling me to speak...to hush my mouth..and even giving me specific words to say. Crazy, huh?!? It really happened. And even last night, when I was trying to make a decision, I hear him say "WAIT". Which is the answer I was getting after Landon and I split up....I guess that's still the only answer. Just wait. In the Experiencing God series, they tell you that unless you feel God telling you that you SHOULDN'T be somewhere, then you should stay there (of course, if it doesn't line up with God's word, then you should worry...) but for now....God is not telling me to leave Springfield...or to change my status as a single woman...so here I am...waiting...trying to be patient, and knowing at the same time that i fail at that every day. Soooooo many people are getting married. It's crazy. Today I heard the song that I thought was going to play at my wedding back when I thought a wedding was going to be planned (no, not with Landon...geeze!). And I almost cried. It is truly amazing how the Lord saves us from ourselves...and from situations that are NO BUENO. Seriously, I could have been married by now...with a baby on the way. But the Lord saved me from that...and now, I'm a single 22-year-old female waiting in Springfield, MO to see where God wants to use her. But...if that is God's will, then I will continue to be that 22-year old female waiting...and one of these days, I will learn to be patient! Please, let me know how I can pray for you. Ya see, I got this new journal last week (which was totally a God thing...because heaven knows that I actually prayed that I would get one...FREAKY...), and I'm gonna start writing prayer requests in it. haha....that's what you're SUPPOSED to do. Okay...office is closing. More updates to come!!! Love! |
