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| doesn't life suck.so after 10 years, my baby princess passed away. when i got home on september 12, 2008, i ran into the porch to find the dog i wanted to greet with hugs and happiness, just laid there. i said her name. nothing. so i'm like "fuck..." i start crying. the whole world just seemed to slow down. my body got numb. tears just ran down my face. this dog was my entire world. she watched me grow up. i got her as my kindergarten graduation present. she saw me graduate 8th grade. but she couldnt be here for my high school graduation.
life sucks.
i loved that damn dog.
more than any other animal or person in my house.
because she couldnt lie to me.
she could love me regardless of what kind of person i was.
she couldnt judge me.
and i loved her.
r.i.p. princess.
forever in my heart.
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| why is trust an issue?i have realized, no matter how perfect a relationship is, the one and only problem is trust. i love my boyfriend. with everything i have and everything i am. i would never hesitate to do something for him, no matter what. except for the fact, that i have trust issues. if anyone knows me best, or at least read my past, past, past posts, i have been hurt so much over the past 4 years. and it always ended the same way. i dont want this relationship to be like every other one i have ever had. i can actually see myself graduating, having kids, and growing old with him. i dont want my silly trust issues to ever get in between us.
i have grown to be insecure. its in my nature as a woman and as a teenager to have trust issues. its just common sense to know this. you see guys, in particularly, my boyfriend, doesnt understand this. i understand his past pain, even though he insists i dont, pain is always the same feeling, no matter the situation, it will always hurt. beside the point, he just doesnt know how to be a good boyfriend sometimes. he doesnt know how to handle silent moments when we are arguing, he tries to make me talk and tell him everything upfront. but girls are very introvert when it comes to feelings in an argument when you are in love. and when it comes to trust, including insane cheating thoughts, its very stuffy on the area. i know deep down in my heart, he would never, ever do something like that to me. he has been hurt too many times to do this to someone else. but in my mind, he is a guy. and guys think with their favorite body part....the penis. i wish my judgment with my heart will eventually overcome the one in my mind.
this boy, is my world. everything i am. and im not losing him to delirious thoughts of stupidity.
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| woot! woot! sophmore biznatch! so, LANE TECH! i have nothing to say. i guess i dont have to write down my feelings anymore. i found the perfect guy. one who listens, helps, and loves all at the same time! lol. Mrs. Ernst Gregory Cisnero. yeah, sounds right. i never thought i could find that guy, in which i never had to worry about anything. he spoils me. feeds me. plays with me. takes care of me. lmao i sound like a puppy.
i love my reggie with all i have. it's been 6 months 20 days since December 13, 2007.
who would've thought he could love me forever.
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| high school. something that came so fast and is so new to me. i made it into the high school of my dreams. and it is so different from what i knew and used to. so many things have changed. so many. i've let go of so much, and gained much much more. i have friends that i love with all my heart, and people i hate with a passion. things have become harder, and somethings have become easier. i've learned to understand, and to become very confused. hell, ima freshman now. nothing is gonna stop me from saving the world. 
i liked the fact that when i had lost all hope in this life, he found me. he came and took my hands and told me, "pst! hoy!" he made me smile the very first day of school. from that day on, high school has been hilarious. i always looked forward to the next day, just to hear him say something smart and funny. time came when i realized, "shit, i like him." 12.13.07 is a date i will never forget. i finally found that kiss, that made my heart skip ten beats. he was so cute, trying to hint getting a kiss. and when i finally was gonna leave, i gave him a kiss that left me smiling all the way home. ever since then, i've been falling faster, and faster with every conversation, every hug, and every kiss. i'm starting to fall in love again. i'm not afraid to give me and him my all. because i know this is real. 
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| lol ok from reading my past blogs....i just learned i was a fucking obsessed bitch! with no fucking life what so ever! what the fuck is up with that?! thank god i think differently now! gosh! if i were to see my ignorant ass now, i'd kill myself! well i guess its good to know that if those things didnt happen to me, i wouldnt be who i am today. i thank Jose the most for helping me through all my selfish bullshit and making me grow up. lol. things have truly changed. i have new best friends, a new love, and a new personality. i'm hoping things wont change that much any more. and since graduation is comin Monday, i want to start off fresh. no more looking back on my stupidity and dwelling on it. its time to move forward. its time to rise. Class of Oh Seven!!!
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