Minor reflections

   Hey to all three of you who know about my poor, neglected site.  Just wanted to share what's been up- a whirlwind of events and emotions.  What can I say- I'm definetly all female!  Lately I have been learning about the importance of relationships and how amazingly complex people can be, and yet in each one of us are the same simplistic desires- to be loved and to serve a purpose greater than ourselves. 

     Valentine's Day was practically the best day that I have had this year.  My sis awoke me at eight a.m. with an enormous Hershey Kiss and a bright smile.  That really set all of my affections on God that day.  I could not help but praise Him.  He is romantically pursuing me.  He thinks I'm gorgeous!  :)  And my desire is for Him.

    Lately I have wanted more.  I have been walking for a round trip of an hour and a half to this park where I can sit and read my Bible in nature.  I love nature!  Anyway, I have been learning to thoroughly meditate(on the Psalms) and even sketch out His word.  I am so so so happy about my time with Him, but a little after I leave  thoughts bombard my mind that I know for certain that are not from Him.  They say to me, "You do not belong in the body of believers.  You cannot sing; your voice is too harsh, no matter what God told you.  God did not give you that message- you just thought you heard that!  He doesn't speak to you. And your family- nothing can save them.  Just go throughout the day and ignore them in pretended ignorance.  It's better for you to protect your heart than reach out to people in vulnerability.  People will always hurt you, especially those who you love the most."

     THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!!!!!  He wanted to steal the peace and power that my Daddy had given me by telling me all of these horrible things!  And I almost believed Him!  But I had spent enough time with God lately that I was able to stand up and say back, "No!  You're lying to me because that's not what my Daddy told me!  I have it written down here in my journal!"  I had never really talked back to satan before.  I always let him toss me around in his waves.

  Later, when I was thinking these thoughts until I was in tears and almost sick, God brought to my mind that I must TELL my soul to be at rest once more.  (Ps 116)  Why?  Because He has been so incredibly good to me!  How?  He cut the chords of death away from me.  He rescues me again and again because of His great love for me.  I was in anguish and troubles were overwhelming me like this mighty wave, but I cried out to my God and out of His love and faithfulness He rescued me.  We must, as believers, learn to console ourselves and allow God to comfort us through the knowlege of His Word!

     I have been pondering upon His love and praying to know how big and deep it really is.  If I know His love, I will not be as prone to wander off in arrogance, thinking that I'm smarter than Him.  I pray this for my friends as well.  Everyone is going through so much- from social rejection to special relationships, to work problems and deaths in the family.  But ohh, they persist in their love for God!

     He loves us sooooo much! 

      Today I learned that the pursuit of God can be simple.  (Psalm 119, Beth) 

1.  Seek Him with ALL of your heart

2.  Ask and trust Him to keep you from wandering

3.Memorize His Word so that you will not sin

4. Praise Him!

5.  Ask Him to teach you (and be teachable!)

6. Recount His law with your lips

7.  Rejoice that you get to follow hard after Him

8.  Meditate on His laws, consider His ways, and...

DO NOT NEGLECT HIS WORD!!!!  In the Word of God there is life.  Jesus is the Word of God and the gate at which we MUST enter.

Can I feel the scar I left You?

Can I feel the scar I left You when the
nail drove though Your hand?
And the crown of thorns upon your brow,
was it a painful band?
Can I taste the salt upon Your cheek, flowing from your eye?
Can I hear your mother wailing, o'er
crowds screaming, "CRUCIFY!"?
Did it hurt you when they shouted, shouted louder all the more
"Crucify Him! Crucify Him!" kill the one the Jews adore."
Did it phase You when You turned to heaven,
and heaven then betrayed;
Only God in heaven heard You, and yet He
turned away?
Could I feel the curtain tear as you split it top to bottom?
If I saw dead bodies raise that day,
would I leave your mem'ry forgotten?
Could I stand with the centurion, and exclaim the very same
"Surely this is the Son Of God,
the Son of God that came!"

Jessica Lynn Skarda

Copyright ©2005 Jessica Lynn Skarda

Lovely one (4/13/05)

Sit here with me and listen to the depths of the lake

Ducklings of all kinds float upon a crest and wake

The water breaks and chaps the bank

And the wind blows on my face my blood runs cold

You are not here with me

So I will tell you in the time to come

Of the cities I did see, and the places I did run

Then you and I will live to see together

The wonders that sit beneath the subdued sun.

The water ripples in cerulean and reflects the tan

Of the ground that seldom receives the rain

Poured out by a dry Colorado sky

Though you would not know it by sight alone.

You are not here with me, so as I drone

On and on about how the ripples do,

My thoughts reflect back onto you,

Asking when it is that you will come,

And whether or not I know you now.

Were my love deeper than this lake

Were my plans secure and actions sure

If it were me alone then I would run to you

But it is not- God is in my plans.

Sit with me beloved, and enjoy the depth of the sea,

But let us not forget the depth of the sky.

Hey, guys! I decided to join xanga, the ultimate procrastination site second only to facebook.  I thought it would be really neat to drop a line here and there, post a little poetry, and even delve into the lives of others. 

                                                               ~Jess