What are you holding out for? What's always in the way?

It's really not bad, not worse than you thought

Lately I've been feeling like I'm on the verge of a break down.

What is really aggravating is that one minute I'm basking... just enjoying everything beautiful around me.

The next I'm overwhelmed and unhappy.

I stored all of my journals in the attic. I don't want to see them, don't really want to use them.

I've also been thinking about making a movie. And how I would be good at including the subtle details.

I'm jumbled.

Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do

I hate footprints.
They're really starting to freak me out.
I just looked and someone from the District of Columbia looks at my website everyday.
Other people look me up on google.
It says link... google.
Anyway, I'm going to stop looking at these footprints.
If you come here you should say hello.
It's only polite.

~I've been working on a piece that's filled with sex and desperation~

Currently Listening Yeah Yeah Yeahs By Yeah Yeah Yeah's, Yeah Yeah Yeahs Arrrrrrrrrt Sttaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr see related

And You Knew But You Could Never Say

I'm in Reading.
Today I feel thoughtless, probably the worst day to update xanga.

I'm not really sure what I want to do with my life.
I just spent the last... twenty minutes looking at furniture and houses that I think I want.

I'm a little a head of the game.

I want... http://www.homeplans.com/exec/action/plans/browsemode/details/filter/BathMax.2%3bBathMin.2%3bBedMax.3%3bBedMin.1%3bExtFeatID.4%3bFlrs.2%3bGStallID.3%3bGStyleID.2%3bLFloorID.5%3bMSFeatID.6%2c11%2c13%2c10/hsme/seggBLU/hspos/goognet/page/11/planid/7224/section/homeplans?viewstate=tot.eNozNAMAAJoAaA%3d%3d
That house. Or at least I think so.

I want a canopy bed, and a sage suede living room collection.
My living room will be my ONLY room with green.
I want my bathroom to be lavender, and my guest bathroom to be yellow with black and white ducky border.
I want one guest room, an office/study, a library, a dining room, a living room, a kitchen, a built in garage, and a large deck.

I'm feeling dreamy. I feel like planning for things I won't be able to get for... years.
I'm going to be a horrible decorator.
I have particular taste...

whatever I'll put pictures of my house on here when I'm thirty.

I'm not sure I want this week to end, but on... December 21, I'll be home for good.

~You should know (by now) really
That this could end, really~

Currently Listening B-Sides & Rarities By Deftones Digital Bath see related

It's A Cloudy Day But We Still Can't Go

I'm starting to get tests back...
It's making me nervous.
I haven't failed anything yet... but I want to get an A average this quarter... preferably a high A.

My class starts at noon... I'm going to go bust my ass on homework.
Math... still pisses me off.
So that hasn't changed since highschool.

Next weekend I'll be home. I cannot wait.
After Christmas I'll be going to college in Harrisburg.
I cannot wait.

I'm still not having the time of my life here, whatever.

It's pouring, and I miss you more when it rains.

~I'm completely alone at a table of friends, I feel nothing for them... I feel nothing, nothing~