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Monday, May 05, 2008

  • Typical lecture

    So every Thursday, I have lecture from 7:30 till 1:00.  It's usually pretty painful.  After being in school for 3 decades, I've become tired of lectures, though I know I'll still have them pretty much the rest of my life.  However, last weeks lecture took place with some nice firefighters and they explained the jaws of life to us.  It's hard to really explain how incredible this is, so I'll try to show it to you instead.  They ripped a pretty much normal looking car apart (with 2 residents inside, thanks Drew & Dan).

    Note to self, don't get in an accident requiring these (pretty cool though, no?)



Saturday, May 03, 2008

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

  • Team Lazy... GO!

    Weekly writing challenge time, to play along, go here

    This week's challenge is to write a story of 500 words or less using the following words: pencil, wood, house, lamp, couch, moon and box.  I decided to try to make a coherent story as short as possible.

    START:

    I dug through the couch, tipping over the moon shaped lamp on the box, and finally found the wood pencil.  Finally I can write my suicide note and then blow up the house.

    END.




Friday, April 25, 2008

  • The transplant list

    Now, I'm sure you are all wanting me to keep you abreast (teehee) of the most critical and cutting edge medical facts in the world.  Let's get some background medical knowledge... that's what you are are here for, and I aim to please.  **Editors note:  Let me just start by saying that this is NOT fake.  This is true science at work here.  I am NOT making this crap up.  Links have been added at the end for the doubters... ok, read on

    Perhaps you, like many 87-year old grammas, have become concerned with the rise in the rates of C. difficile in the community.  As you know, C. difficile causes a very bad form of colitis creating a horrifically foul and frequent diarrhea that can actually be life threatening.  It has been around for quite some time, but recently, it has become more virulent and more difficult to treat.  The normal medication regiment of Flagyl or oral Vancomycin remains effective in most of the cases, however, some people have resistant strains of the bacteria and can have very prolonged cases which may even last months.

    Just a reminder, poop is funny.

    This bacteria usually forms secondary to loss of the normal gut bacteria.  Thus, when you take some antibiotics for some other reason, you can actually kill off the GOOD bacterial that normally lives in your intestines.  This bacterial usually recovers from this and grows back on its own accord without any difficulty.  However, sometimes, after all the good bacteria gets killed off, bad bacteria (the C difficile) grow in large numbers in the good bacterias place.  This causes the horrific, catastrophic diarrhea.

    So what can we, and by we, I mean you do?  Well.  You could try the antibiotics (Flagyl/Vanco) to treat this, or you could be more cutting edge.  You could be on the front of medical science.  You could be the one right at the thin white line of the future, living the dream of having the best and most advanced medical care that human science has come to know.  You could get your gastrointestinal floura completely replaced with the latest technique which is...  a poo transplant.

    Go read those last three words again, I'm not sure if you read them correctly.

    That's right.  We are now adding poop to the list of vital commodities that people need transplants.  But how, you ask, could you get the poo in the right place?  Well... we all know where poo starts off don't we?  It starts with food.  So... it's actually pretty simple.  Eat someone else's poop.

    What?! 

    Yes.  People are doing this.  It has been successfuly numerous times with a 95% success rate.  Let me break the procedure down for you.  I added pictures since some people only come for the pictures.

    1.  Get poo.  Usually a family member will donate.  I know my brothers would both be happy to donate poop for me to eat.   I suppose we could create the brown cross as well if needed.

    2.  NG tube.
     
    You put a tube through the nose that goes into the stomach.  I suppose this step could be bypassed if you really just wanted to be a man and drink it straight.


    3
    Mix poo.  Put in blender with some water.


    4.  Insert poo. 
    2 tablespoons down NG tube into stomach. 

    Congratulations, you just ate someone's poop. 

    I'm not sure if I could really volunteer for this procedure, regardless of how life-saving it is.  Though, I think it would be kind of fun to go drinking afterwards with my brothers and then belch in their faces and look for the response.  The whole "your breath smells like shit" would really be quite truthful.

    There, now you guys are all cutting edge.  Glad I could help.

    Don't believe me?  Check the links:
    Poo 1    Poo 2    Poo 3  or just go HERE to see auto inoculation (gross)


       

Saturday, April 19, 2008

  • Weekly Writing Challenge 4

    Now for this week's challenge: (go to the weekly writers challenge to play the at home version)
    Free write for five minutes, a story, beginning with "He found the cacophony distracting as he walked in the room."

    OK, waiting for the clock... and go...
    (editors note: I'm an idiot and actually did exactly 6 minutes instead of 5, oh well)
    START...
    He found the cacophony distracting as he walked in the room.  Surely with the recent developments and the video online people must have thought it more than a rumor.  More than just stories.  More than just a hoax that somebody created.  I mean, people had been dying. 

    Oh we have all seen people react and over react in various situations.  However, when actual deaths occur, it seems like it would be time to give some validity to the hoax.  It seems it would be time to give some validity to the thought that maybe, JUST MAYBE the threat was real.  Well.  I had warned them.  I had warned them all, and they still had their little party.  So be it.

    Seriously, people who kill to live have been around for some time now.  Vampires, a legend born out of slight reality have existed for hundreds of years.  They, however have found a type of underground harmony with their surroundings.  Also, they can drink anythings blood, not just human, so as humans have adapted, they have adapted.  Lucky bastards.

    Me, on the other hand, well, I don't have to kill to live, but for whatever reason, I have been programed to live to kill. 

    Imagine if the only time you could ever be happy, the only time that you had joy, the only time in your life that you ever even had a hint of fulfillment was when you killed.  Well, that's me.  Oh sure, I have friends, family, and other people that I get along with.  However, these give me little to no fulfillment.  Nothing.  Zero.  It's sad really, but I have to pursue what works for me.

    Don't get me wrong, I love what I do.  I wake up on days like today eager, just absolutely salivating for the night to come.  I love that I can at least try to pre-chose who I devour.  I try to create situations where it will make the world better for my destruction, but it does not always....END


    Well, that came out pretty interesting.  I still don't know what type of creature he is yet either.   Perhaps its the one eyed one horned flying purple people eater?  Your guess is as good as mine

    Oh and for more news from the world of writing, please read my previous post

    Currently Watching
    Steven Spielberg Presents Taken
    By Julie Benz, Catherine Dent, Jason Gray-Stanford, Tina Holmes, Michael Moriarty
    see related

Friday, April 18, 2008

  • AWESOMEST! (toot toot toot my own horn)

    I suppose I'm allowed to toot my own horn on my own blog, right?

    This was perhaps one of the coolest things that has happened to me in recent memory.  I know I blogged about it a little bit ago here.  However, at that time, I didn't know what truly was going to happen.  Well, they were true to their word and actually published the article and interview with me.  Check out the June (the current) edition of Writer's Digest, page 60.  I can wait if you want to go right now, really I don't mind.  No?  Well, that's ok, since they actually printed out the article for those of you more inclined to the online type of format you have come to know and love.

    Here's the quick low down.  I entered a Short Short Story competition in Writer's Digest magazine, and, out of 6805 entries, I won.  I know, I was as surprised as you are.  I'm sure I could blather on and on forever about this, so instead I'll just give you the link to the article, and the link to the short story that won the competition.  Click the link and read away.

    Link to the article about the competition

    Link to the short story "The Procedure" that won the competition.

    Aside from medicine, this was extremely high on the coolness meter for me.


    Currently Listening
    We Are the Champions 2000
    By Various Artists
    see related

Monday, April 14, 2008

  • Laughter, not always the best medicine

    I'll be honest, I've seen some scary crap in the ER.  Gun shot wounds, bad MVA's, split open skulls and all the rest.  This was way creepier than all of them.  Let me preface this with a warning.  Schizophrenia is a horrific disease.  This is a mental disorder that can ruin a person's life forever and can afflict a person early in life.  It often comes on in the late teens and early twenties.  There are a high amount of homeless people who have schizophrenia, most likely since the disease lends itself to an inability to take care of one's self and meet personal needs.  However, most of them are pretty withdrawn, and if anything... grumpy.  This guy was NOT grumpy.

    This guy liked to laugh.  Unfortunately for me, he also liked crack, alcohol, marijuana, and other treats.

    This chemical cocktail, mixed with an underlying psychotic disorder, makes for an interesting night.

    I am not an overly jumpy person.  I can remain calm in most of the scary situations in the ER.  This is a skill I continue to work on, and will continue to hone in the situations that are thrown at me.  However, I was not prepared for the laugh.  I wish I could have recorded it.  The closest I can come is this (I had to hunt and listen to a bunch to get the right one...)

    Creepy

    Yeah, that's what it sounded like, only WAY louder and creepier.  He would be sleeping quietly for 30 minutes, then cackle VERY loudly for a minute.  Very creepy.  He got to go away to a special place where hopefully he'll get help.  He even got Tazered twice.  I know that feeling.  However, as an evil clown, my heart kinda went out for the poor guy.  Which got me to thinking, maybe the Joker from Batman wasn't really all that evil.  Maybe he just had voices in his head that told him what to do over and over till he went crazy.  Poor guy.  Well, at least he seemed happy.

    chapter 19

    But she did not press the issue. 

    Occasionally she would catch slight glimpses into his thoughts, and always it would be of work, and oddities, and Talents.  His mind buzzed with ideas whenever she caught it.  However, she could always feel something else.  Listening in someone’s head gave insight to the emotions behind the thoughts as well.

    By now, Julia had been able to hear thoughts quite clearly, even in complete strangers when she pressed herself.  However, feelings surrounding thoughts added a subtle complexity to everything.  Some people would loudly think about how a person is a jerk or selfish, while at the same time the emotion of jealousy would trickle through their thoughts.  Other times, she would see a new couple and could feel the lust raging through both of their thoughts. 

    Reading words came easily, reading emotions proved quite difficult.  The same set of words could have completely different meanings depending on the emotion involved.  Julia had always thought that “I love you” would be surrounded with happiness and joy.  However, she found many people had horrible emotions surrounding those words.  More often than not, she hear complicated thoughts that started with these words…  <I love you but I can no longer be with you…>  <I slept with your best friend, but it’s you that I love> <I love you, but I love her more…>  She could read the rage, jealousy, disdain and a myriad of other emotions floating through these thoughts.   

    However, when she caught glimpses into Jacks thoughts, the overriding feeling that came through every time was greed.  It was more than simple wanting more, it was a lust for more.  She could not really understand what his hunger was for, but she did not press the issue. 

    Jack became more and more distant, taking long trips that he always said were work associated.  He would sometimes be gone for weeks at a time.  When he came home, he would never give any explanation, other than he was doing more research.  He always wanted everything to remain the complete same at home, even if he had been gone for weeks.  Julia had a brilliant mind of her own, and it did not take much to figure out that something different was going on.  Jack had all but silenced his mind to her, and that worried her.  She decided a direct approach would be best

    Currently Reading
    Advanced Cardiovascular Life Support Provider Manual (American Heart Association, ACLS Provider Manual)
    By American Heart Association
    see related

Friday, April 11, 2008

  • Have you ever been the victim of a bad haircut? Are you willing to share a photo?

    Bad haircut does not even begin to cover it.  I'm talking about an atrocity to nature itself.

    I usually just browse by the featured questions.  However, this is a question was asked to me 1 month ago and I showed my distain for the experience at lenght...  JUST CLICK HERE FOR THAT ENTRY.  Oh the humanity!

    I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!
  • Formaldehyde and funk

    This weeks weekly writers challenge is to write a letter to yourself sometime when you were younger.  So, I decided to write a letter to me from this morning.

    My dearest Rob,

    You know that feeling when you take a scalpel and cut through a cadavers chest?  Well, it is actually going to feel quite different now than it did in medical school.  As it turns out, trying cutting through several layers of flesh is really kinda creepy after working in the ER for 3 years.

    I don't know what it is, but maybe it seems more real now.  In med school, the whole procedure had a surreal aspect to it that made it seem distant.  Doing it today to practice procedures like chest tubes, open thoracotomys and DPLs really made it seem pretty real.  Discussing how the people who actually donated their bodies after dying so that others could learn more... creepy, but a nice thing for them to do.  Do you remember the name of your corpse?  Gertrude, was it?

    Other things really slap you in the face.  The sweet smell of Anatomy lab.  Yeah, you know it.  That formaldehyde smell that continuously wafts up and up.  How on earth is it that it makes you hungry?  Seriously?  You are surrounded by dead bodies, you are seeing pretty gross crap (figuratively and literally), and yet the lab still makes you hungry.  Forgot about that, didn't you?  Here's a creepy, anatomically incorrect pic for yah



    In the meantime, here's another chapter...


    Walter 18

    How could he even think about that after she just realized that her lifelong affliction was actually a gift?           

                Julia and Jack were married within a year.  She moved into his home near the company while continuing to finish her PhD.  Jack continued to help her hone her abilities.  She realized that she could most easily understand those that she knew well.  When she went home to visit her parents, their thoughts practically screamed out to her.  They were nearly all good thoughts, though.  She could feel the emotion and love in their thoughts.  She also heard their worry and concern about rushing into a marriage with Jack.  They had told her that they thought he was a good man, but their thoughts loudly proclaimed a deeper concern.  All of this she read with an undercurrent of love, so she knew her parents hearts were in the right spot. 

    She did not dare tell them the truth.  They had noticed that she had stopped taking medication, but they did not press the issue.  To them she seemed more stable than ever, and with the PhD work, she really was taking the world by storm, right?  Reading her mom and dad came without effort.

     However, when she really pressed herself, she could start to understand other people.  At first she felt guilty for peering into the minds of others.  It was the ultimate intrusion.  What at first seemed like innocent spying, ended up showing a world where deception was everywhere.  She saw her neighbors smile and wave, but could hear their thoughts deceiving their smiles.  Apparently, Jack had made a few enemies around the neighborhood.  It seemed the current theme of the neighbors was one of “how could a nice girl like that be with a jerk like him?”  She figured people were just stuck up, and they really did not understand how brilliant Jack was.

    After four years, Julia finished her PhD in psychiatry.  Her Talent slipped into her profession perfectly.  The first time she used her new talent in the field, she felt as if she was intruding into her client’s life.  However, when she thought about it, was that not why they hired her in the first place?  A client wanted her to get inside his or her head and figure out why they feel the way they do.  Julia had the perfect technique for such things.

    Jack, on the other hand had become quite deliberate about keeping his mind completely blank when he was home.  She was not sure how he did it, but he was able to completely stop thinking.  One day she had been able to read him whenever she tried to, though she rarely did, then the next day it was like trying to listen to a wall.  Somehow he had either stopped having vocal thoughts, or he had found some way to prevent her from hearing him.  She supposed it was fair, since it was really spying and intrusive on such an intimate level.  However, it seemed odd that he would not want her to see his thoughts.  Actually, it seemed weird, since they were married.  But she did not press the issue. 


    Currently Reading
    2008 Novel & Short Story Writer's Market (Novel and Short Story Writer's Market)
    By Lauren Mosko
    see related

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

  • Weekly Writing Challenge

    So for anyone interested there's a weekly writing challenge which I figure might be fun and a decent way to keep active and keep the mind flowing.  Thus, I'll try to periodically write something other than Walter's saga...  This weeks challenge you can see by clicking the link up there.  The challenge was to write about coming home and checking answering machine messages, you freeze when you hear the 3rd one...
    **********************************************************************************

    The red glow of the blinking "3" from the answering machine seemed penetrating in the pre-dawn blackness. 

    The trip home had been frustrating.  I had a layover in Atlanta that turned into a two night affair with the weather.  Somehow my bags and my gun made it home a day before I did, go figure.

    The hit had been fine.  Clean.  Flawless. 

    I trailed the mark after the hit for ten minutes, but it was as easy as a rookie call back when I was in training.  To be honest I don't even know why I had received all the warnings, all the hype, all the nervous preparation for this single hit.  I've had hundreds of hits before and usually I get a photo, a location, and I'm left to my own devices.  Why did the agency all of the sudden demand so much prep and work-up for this single hit?

    Oh, I know, he had "training" of his own, and he had had multiple attempts before.  Well, if that was true, whoever tried before was either not worth their salt or this guy just got lucky.  My guys was the latter.  Well, actually, he just got unlucky, since he was reassigned to me.  He might have avoided three hits before, but I'm yet to have anyone avoid a hit.  This was no different.  The poor bastard was dead before he could even hear the silenced shot.

    I slid my gun case into the closet and threw in my carry on bag as well.  I could unpack in the morning.

    I pressed the <MSG> button to listen.  I left the lights off since I just wanted to check the messages and go to bed.  Flying always makes me tired for some reason.  Man, that red glow from the machine seems bright.

    1. <BEEEEEP>

    "Hey Cameron, it's mom.  Listen I just wanted to make sure you were still planning to come up on Saturday.  Dad's booked a fishing charter and your brother's planning on being there.  I know you said you had a big business trip, and sometimes those go late for you.  Just let us know, K?"

    I sat in the chair next to the machine.  The bright, red, blinking one changed to a blinking 2. 

    Yeah, a good fishing trip would be nice after a job.  I'm glad it went as smoothly as it did.  Sometimes waiting for the perfect moment to make the hit can take days.  I looked down at the bright red 2, willing the machine to just talk so I could to to sleep.

    2. <BEEEEEP>

    "Whussup, Cam."  I recognized my brothers voice immediately.  He probably was calling because mom told him to leave a message.  "Hey, man, just calling 'cause mom wanted me to leave you a message.  Give 'em a call either way, 'k.  No problemo if you can't make it, you know, just more trout for me.  Talk with 'ya later, man."

    Typical.  Chris wouldn't miss a fishing charter even in a thunderstorm.

    3. <BEEEEEEP>
    "..." A long pause was all that greeted the start of the third message, but I didn't hear the end beep.  Actually, I could hear breathing.  It was faint, but I could definitely hear the quiet inhale and exhale of someone on the line.  For some reason I could feel the hairs on my arms bristling.  My haze from the long trip seem to melt away as my body came to full alert. 

    You didn't make it long in my job if you could not focus on a split second notice.  I listened closer to the message, it was still going, just soft breathing, but now I could actually hear a soft chuckle as well.  Who would just chuckle into an answering machine?  I stayed perfectly still.  The bright red "3" seemed to glow in the blackness.  Finally, a voice pierced the darkness.  "You missed."

    I froze.  That could not be possible.  I know I got-... I looked at the bright red of the "3" and then looked down.  I saw another glowing red dot in the center of my chest.  Oh no.

    <BEEEEEEEEP>

slicy

  • Visit slicy's Xanga Site
    • Name: slicy
    • Country: United States
    • State: Michigan
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 8/14/2004
    • Lifetime

Me in a nutshell

Quickthoughts

Chatty spot (2)

  • Simply_Rebecca
    Nice profil pic, kindda scary, but still, nice!!!
  • slicy
    Free puppies to the first 10 to post on the Chatboard
    • Posted 4/12/2008 8:53 PM
    • by slicy