|  woooooooo  |
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| Got my nano =D
iSaran =D
No, it's not your's
Not worth $30..i would rather iSaran it to my arm.
Foster yes thats a bicep -.- along with everything else |
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| This past month has allowed me to relfect and think about everything that's been going on. I've been having an ongoing depression emerging only while im alone and idle. During these periods i'm so damn close to breaking down and crying, wondering why things happened the way they did and why i decided to carry things out the way i did. i keep telling myself, just as i've told others who i've seen gone through the same thing, not to dwell on the past as it can't be fixed and theres no use burdening yourself with the unchangeable; i know find this isn't as easy as it rolls off my tongue. I've done so many fucked up things and made so many horrible mistakes. No matter how much regret fills my conscience; no matter how much i want to go back to the times when I wasn't so horrible; no matter how much i want to be someone else-- I break down with the knowledge of reality. Nearly every night this month anger/sadness/confusion and eveyrthing mixed together haunt my thoughts forcing me to pound my skull endlessly. I'd like to think im in control, that things could be brushed off so easily, that "i've got this", but no. I've probably been giving myself the illusion that i'm always right when i'm totally wrong because despite the facts, i am totally oblivious to the other's feelings. I had a moat dug around me prohibiting entry and exit because i was insecure. Everyone is right thinking i am cocky and while i thought i had a right to it, i never though how it would affect everyone else around me. I know see the damages. It's been a long while for me to think things through, but i still just can't get things together. Everything I do seems wrong and every corner reminds me of mistakes. Holy fuck i just don't know how else to express what i've been feeling all this time... I feel like my mind is eating itself and spewing it back out. I thought I could make things better taking care of it on my own, but i was very mistaken...not even the first time it's happened. Anywayz.. there have been too many lessons learned and an infinite number of them not yet discovered. i can't wait. |
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| i don't know how to dance....fuck |
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| Ixl slynx lxI (1:31:31 AM): you don't have school 2morrow right?
e 0M 0 t Io Nz 7 (1:31:47 AM): i do all week
Ixl slynx lxI (1:32:05 AM): jewish holiday??
e 0M 0 t Io Nz 7 (1:32:12 AM): im at saint johns
e 0M 0 t Io Nz 7 (1:32:17 AM): notice da saint
Ixl slynx lxI (1:32:27 AM): ROFLMAO
pwned =\ |
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