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smilychic89
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Name: Hattie
Country: United States
State: North Carolina
Metro: Cary
Birthday: 2/5/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: piano. violin. classical music. symphonies. eating. coffee. bookstoring. deep conversations. music in general. dancing. staying up late. going out for lunch and dinner with friends. movies. being retarded just for kicks. asian jokes. foosball. EMF!. sleeping.
Expertise: procrastinating effectively.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  smilychic88keys
Member Since:
4/12/2003
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| home.does anyone read this anymore? well, i'll continue for the sake of thinking out loud.
i'm home. after my first semester in college, i'm finally home.
older friends that i've known since the beginning of my tender high school freshman year ask me what do i enjoy about it, what was the highlight, what have i learned, etc. i thought college was an institution of progress but i think i've rader de-gressed. over the course of the semester, i've flirted with four different majors and maybe five different career fields. the confusion of many social groups hasn't added to my "pro-gress" either - i feel like i've split the once-hardheaded-strong-knows-exactly-what-she-wants hattie into multiple personalities thrown into an abyss of uncertainty.
at the beginning of the semester, i partied a lot. probably not to the extent of my unc/duke friends, but i exceeded my expectation of myself by far. i went out friday, saturday, and sunday nights and averaged about 2-3 fraternities a night. i'm not a hard drinker though. i actually dislike drinking unless it tastes really really good, in which case i'll drink it just because it tastes good. but, as i've found it, this is rarely the case. i'm not even sure why people drink so much. influence of alcohol can cause you to act so stupid and do things that you might regret down the road. it can cause once-close friends to be awkward with each other. at parties, i usually dance. i thought it was fun to go out with my posse and dance in a circle. but i've had far too many undesired, sketchy encounters with drunk upperclassmen who think that freshmen girls are free-for-all prey.
thankfully, none of my outings were too eventful and no specific event contributed to my de-gress. it's just the overall experience that gradually wore me down and be sick of this scene. i'm an in-ex-trovert. i have my extroverted side when i can be really ditzy, hyper, loud, and seem like a complete party animal. but many times, i feel like i'm trying too hard to fit this mold. i don't understand quite why. all throughout high school, i've struggled to find who exactly i am. and i felt that i achieved that enlightenment and was comfortable with my weird, unique, bizarre cocktail of characteristics. maybe i'm a little bit burnt-out by my high school experience and wanted to release the pressure by acting out of character. but because the "party crowd" is who i associated with from the beginning, it's getting hard to leave it as i look for something more calm, conservative down the road.
i do have the calmer and more conservative social groups that i've recently enjoyed. but the partying has already taken a toll on me. i think about what they do on weekends or what they do for fun. i love the simple joys of sitting down to talk and get to know others, but sometimes i need to release all my energy at parties. that need is like some ephemeral bubble that wants to pop unexpectedly. i don't think i found many people who understand me completely - my need for two distinct, but both badly needed types of social groups. sometimes i'm even afraid that each type of people might look down upon me if they realize the other side of me. i guess i never got rid of my self-consciousness and my need for approval from others even after all these years. my goal is to reach a state where i'm comfortable enough to do whatever pleases me without being too concerned with others' opinions of me. i admit, to succeed in society, this is important to a certain extent. but i don't want that to influence who i am and change or alter my actions to fit that mold.
i think i like myself best when i'm given a headset, good classical music, and my laptop. perhaps it ties in with my self-consciousness ordeal, but i like talking to people over AIM than in person. it's less tiring and i'm less inclined to hide behind some facade that i create for myself. the best way to recover from this ordeal is reading the fountainhead by ayn rand and listening to the kodaly cello sonata, which i'm doing now =)
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| LanguagesThis summer I'm learning two types of languages: computer languages and foreign languages.
The first is thanks to Alexey and Austin. I thought I would be illiterate at MIT if I didn't know even the slightest amount of coding, so they have taken me as their student for the summer. Last night, we hung out at Barnes & Nobles and they taught me basic mySQL and PHP.
But it wasn't all work and no fun. We ate dinner at Pei Wei (apparently they have fake udon noodles) and watched Live Free or Die Hard. That was a hilarious movie. Besides screaming out loud, I curled up into a ball in my seat and was on the edge the entire time. Forget that it doesn't have a great plot, it was a great movie to see especially with two pro programmers. And the action sequences were good enough to substantiate for the entire movie.
Today I learned some CSS and javascript. But just the basics. I'm even more glued to my computer now, but not on facebook anymore! That's a miracle. Though I wonder how long this substitute addiction will last.
The other language I'm learning: Chinese. We're using the Rosetta Stone Software to learn it. It's really cool because it imprints images and words without getting into the grammar and sentence structure. It's just like the way you learned a language as a child!
After managing my finances, I realized that I am spending WAYYY too much money. No more eating out =(
Hellogoodbye.
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| is xanga dead?i remember i used to write in xanga obsessively since freshman year. then i stopped after i went to ncssm, mainly because websense at schools blocks xanga. but i miss being on xanga...i also remember going through the ncssm blogring before i went and looking at my future seniors and etc. i used to waste so much time on here, but i think facebook has been that time waster for me lately. i have a myspace but i dont really like it as much as xanga. the layout's so....i dunno. ah, i miss the good old days. maybe i'll write in here occasionally just to satisfy my needs of ranting. | | |
| grades and summeryayy straight A's for third trimester. no A-'s (:)) but no A+'s (:() oh well.
im at ncssm right now doing research. its really interesting, and its been a lot of fun hanging out with people like morgan, michelle, mike mian, nirav, schlaefer, max, + other ncssm people.
come visit me at ncssm! im stuck here all summer...meh | | |
| surveyIf it's over 40, you ARE spoiled
( ) own car
(x) cell phone
( ) own phone line
( ) own bathroom
(x) own room
(x) 2+ story house
( ) pool
( ) guest house
( ) game room
( ) tv in your room
Total = 3
( ) full bed
(x) more than 20 pairs of shoes
( ) 10+ things from a designer store
(x) good grades
( ) expensive sunglasses
( ) name brand wallet
( ) iPod
( ) Xbox
( ) Xbox 360
( ) PS2
( ) mp3 player
Total = 2
( ) range rover
( ) basketball hoop
( ) foosball table
( ) pool table
( ) ping pong table
( ) trampoline
( ) live on a lake or pond
( ) own a pair of water skiis/wakeboard how bout a surfboard?
( ) own a snowboard
Total = 0
( ) has a boat
( ) has a jet ski
( ) has a beach house or cabin
( ) only child
(x) stereo system in bedroom
( ) dvd player in room
( ) 100+ dvd's
( ) gets $50+ for allowance each month
( ) goes shopping every month
( ) shops at active
Total= 1
( ) goes snowboarding or skiing every week
(x) 2+ family cars
(x) a mom AND a dad
( ) perfume/cologne
(x) aim
( ) msn
( ) yahoo
(x) 5+ trophies/ribbons
(x) own digital camera
( ) walk in closet
Total = 5
( ) electric scooter
( ) dirt bike
( ) 4-wheeler
( ) guitar/drums/bass
( ) hammock
( ) been on a cruise
( ) traveled out of the country
( ) personal fit trainer
(x) expensive jewelry
( ) met a celebrity...
Total = 1
(x) straightener/curling iron
( ) gets hair done/nails/spas
( ) is/has been on a varsity team for school
( ) own batting cage
( ) $100+ in wallet/purse right now
( ) own savings account
(x) 1+ best friends
( ) been to the Carribean
( ) been to Europe
( ) been to Hawaii
Total = 2
(x) been to New York
( ) shopped in Seattle
( ) eaten at the Space Needle in Seattle
( ) been on the Eifel Tower in Paris
( ) been on the Statue of Liberty in New York
(x) been on honor roll for 2+ years
( ) went on a trip for sweet 16 birthday
(x) lives on private property
( ) license
(x) moved 3+ times
Total = 4
( ) sports car
( ) hot tub
( ) pet(s)
( ) ranch
( ) alltel
(x) cingular
( ) t-mobile
(x) been to 5+ states in the us
(x) don't have a job
(x)100+ buddies on messenger
Total = 4
(x) alarm clock
( ) home cooked meal almost every day
( ) eat out almost every day
(x) been in a limo
( ) own camcorder
(x) own laptop computer
( ) own desktop computer
(x) someone loves you
total = 4
Grand Total = 26 im so not spoiled  . im a good daughter and my parents love me, hehe ^_^
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