madrina's day && update

Happy Mother's Day. hope all went well. Mine sure did. started out with waking up at 6 30, dropping my bro off at the farmers market, heading to pavilions, buying flowers. i hoped to buy a card there, but they were all sold out. luckily CVS opened just in time and i found the perfect one. came home around 8 and hopped back into bed. had dinner at mccormick & schmicks. really tasty seafood. now 7 45 and time to do my remaining assingments of the year. im almost done. fantastic. .  .
so, prom is sat may 17. got my dress. got my shoes. got my purse. did my hair. still thinking of a hairstyle. gonna get a mani. had a backup date. now ive got no one. i am actually glad. all my friends are going solo except for a few. those are bringing their close friends or bf. our schools prom isnt one where u have to worry about a date. so were meeting at molly's, the limo takes us the madison's pre-prom and she has the awesomest house ever. so freaking big. then going to our lame prom. then going to beverly's after prom with dj felli fel. best part is, i dnt have to buy  a second outfit & the girlies are going in their prom dresses. fabulous! so thats 6:30- till supposedly 3:30 when the party stops. what we do afterwards, still not a clue, but im so down for an after-after prom. til like 6 in the morning. this time with all the goods ;) . no clue about sleeping arrangements, and im sure we won't figure that out til firday. lol. just find some cuties have a party til ahhh whenever.
so i've got 8 days of school. 4 days of finals. grad nite on the 5th. graduation on the 13th. yea, senior year is basically over with. just some lame reading assignments left to do here and there, some last time hs studying to be valedictorian/ salutatorian, and thats it.
so my college is gonna be UCSD. excited am i? no not much. in fact, not at all. yess im still on BU's waitinglist, and i haven't thought about that as in yes would i go or not,b/c i just want their answer. although my mom did say that i wlndt go there. idk. im so broken and confused about everything, that i don't know where i want to be. and everything is just getting more and more expensive and we're having less and less. so life is ok.
now, that cutie at the beverly hills library. ahhh. ok im gonna do it. im going to slip him my #.  soon. within the next 2 weeks. whats the worst that can happen??? so he's most likely older than me & doesnt think im 17. worst case is i give him my #, but he already has someone. ahh, adrian, that super cutie.......

tough week

rejection times 8. kind of painful, but i'll get over it. if not now then soon.

i am sad to say, but it's the truth: i'm not really looking forward to college. I really wanted to get far far away to some school that would wow others. but maybe its just my fate to stay in CAli for now. i'm not even sure where im gonna go. SD, SB, or Irvine, but SD is pulling me the most. i honestly don't even care which school relates to my major the most. i mean there's grad school for that rite? i know people are happy & congratulate me for getting into UCSD, but honestly, i feel like a failure. i wanted to be where everything was just, different. I'm going down to visit SD next weekend see how that is. Sixth college, the one i got into, doesn't even seem like the type for me even though im promised to enjoy it. i dont need a study in any type of art be it music, theatre, or visual. fcuk that shit. i dnt even know what i want to major in. i seriously feel like not going to college at all. and i feel like a failure. i hate the fact that i went to this high school. yea its small and gave me certain advantages say over fairfax or hollywood. but it wasnt as great as say LACES. i took aps, but our teachers suck. we can't even offer all the aps possible. i may be number two, but our class isnt as competivie as other schools. i'd probably be in the 20 or 30 at other schools. some colleges/universities don't even recognize our curriculm as "real". wtf. so how do i feel? i was warned that the ivys are competitive, but now i feel foolish for thinking i had some type of a chance. im lost. do i transfer, will i even like it, what do i study, where do i go for graduate school? i hate this.

Currently Reading The Book Thief (Readers Circle) By Markus Zusak see related

whoa.

it has basically been an uneventful day, except for the fact that i went to get blood drawn, and ended up fainting. i can never donate blood, even if i really really wanted to. but then again, i went to the beach, tanned, look GOOD. so thats sumthing. um, hmm, what else? . . . rachel rear ended a taxi driver, making her pay 500 bucks upfront so he wouldn't call the insurance company, therefore leaving her mom without a clue. so had to meet up with her, hand her the goods, haha. also, i finally had the guts to call trevor and invite him as my 'guest' aka date. but its not a def yess, for now. he still has to check his schedule such and such, yea sure, whatever. and even if he can't make it, its not too bad. maybe another time. so my ties with itzel have been broken for good. i feel great not seeing her face, well thats only because its currently spring break. but nevertheless, it's not like i have classes with her or anything. i mean i'll always be ina 'i dnt wanna talk 2 u' mood/look, but only 2 months more. i could care less that we dnt hang out or talk anymore, i mean its not like we did too much of that in the first place. what kind of person, im sorry, 'friend' says "oh, didn't i tell you", . . please, jsut say u didnt want me to know. . . . but no more lamenting on whats over for good. i hope. time for college update. i've gotten into UCSB, UCSD, & UC Irvine, and rejected from UCLA, it's alright, im over that. all thats left is wainting for the ivys and BU to repply, which most of them should be march 31st, whoa way close. i still haven't decided whihc it would be SB or SD, gotta think about that. i'm off to see karen tres tres soon, yay. 120 miles roundtrip, like whoa, but worht it :)

rockband: so good. i havent played it toooo much, but i have to say im not THAT bad, at least, i think. i've got about less than a week til i head back to school, but it seems that my weekend is going to be spent doing homework, as usual, only because teachers truly did give a large amount. boo-hoo. i think this is the end of my update for today. next one, comning soon. oh, and i think im gonna get the macbook. . . . . .. :)

"If you're not a part of the solution, you're part of the problem." True or false?

nope not true 100%. what if the problem and solution is/are just waaay outta your reach/control. 

hmmm, think about that!

   

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

epiphany

it feels as if i have recived one.

nothing much to say. english midterm tomorrow, sleep rigth now.

-pt.