Hey all, I hope you guys had a great weekend. I came across this amazing story and wanted to share it with all of you guys. Have you ever been through a period of your life where you thought there was just no escape to your problems? As though life were one big confusing maelstrom, causing you to resort to anything that could temporarily help you escape from your problems? That is what rachel thought, such as things like alcohol, drugs, and sex. But even though the problems she faced weighed her down more and more, she put her hope in our Lord Jesus, and is now growing more spiritually in tune with God. Even if the bottom of the barrel is fifty feet above your head, God can still bail you out of whatever situation, no matter how big or small, and show you the immense love and care that he has for you. Please take the time to read this, and visit rachel's site-http://www.xanga.com/xX_My_True_Identity_Xx God Bless.

For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave....But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.-Psalms 86:13&15

 ³⁶Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. ³⁷When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, ³⁸and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

    ³⁹When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

    ⁴⁰Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
      "Tell me, teacher," he said.

    ⁴¹"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,^[a] and the other fifty. ⁴²Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

    ⁴³Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
      "You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

    ⁴⁴Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. ⁴⁵You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. ⁴⁶You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. ⁴⁷Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

    ⁴⁸Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

    ⁴⁹The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"

    ⁵⁰Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

well lately god has really been laying on my heart to share my expieriences...even though its not only hard to say, but very embarrassing and not very fun to remember. but i think that its important bcuz just maybe...someone who is in this position will stumble upon this, or at least sumone will share this entry with a person who needs to here it...so here i go..

this passage stuck out to me, bcuz the woman in it, was exactly who i was...or am. sigh, it started when i was little. my mother had several mental illnesses, and was addicted to pretty much every drug on the face of the earth. there was always a joint or pills or sumthing laying out on the coffee table or tv stand. one time i started talking to her about it and she told me there was nothing wronge with drugs, but if i was gonna do it, to get the drugs from her so she would know they were safe...(yes very crazy ik, like what kind of drugs are safe??) by the time i was eleven i was so sick of everything she was doing to me, i couldnt handle walking into that trailor to find her passed out on the kitchen floor again , i didnt want to end up like her, so i just didnt handle it. i ran from it, never spoke to her again, ran as far from contact with her as possible. ran staight into my friends...my neighborhood friends...with parents just like my mom. my boyfriend...(or guy that i liked who took advantage of the fact that i was lost and needed someone to make me feel loved) stopped calling me. that is until he was single and bored with his pornaographic magazines.he went back and forth all the time, i was so confused with everything so i picked up my first bottle of alcohol. this was the start of my downhill spiral into the devils hands. i began drinking uncontollably. but no one knew. not even the girl who had been my best friend for twelve years. the guy kept calling, kept inviting me to spend the nite...and i kept coming over. i started losing all respect for myself, and i just gave up. i told my friend, and since she had been my best friend for 12 years i thought she mite help me.wronge. she ditched me, and told everyone that i was nasty and never to talk to me. so i drank some more. and then i realized drinking wouldnt ease my pain nemore. so i took my first hit off marajuana. i hated it. i hated the way it tasted, i hated the way it smelled, i hated myslef for doing it, acutally, i just plain hated myself. so i figured why not just hate it and myself at the same time. so i did. for a long time i did. i spent all of last summer either drunk, hung over, or stoned. i stuck out all nite and slept it off all day.i became everything i said i never would. i became my mother. i was a 13 year old drunken drug addict and i didnt care. i stopped caring so much i took things a step further. i sold my body for 10 dollars. that was a hard line to get out. but its true. and i cant change it. of course it was no secret..nething i did last summer. everyone knew. parents knew, girls from skool knew, sigh...boiz from skool knew. some even started showing up at my doorstep with 20 dollar bills. that hurt. everyone was callin me horrible names and saying all kinds of terrible things about me, but i knew they were true...and once again i didnt care because i was so lost and i thought that was what i deserved. the amount drugs and alcohol just kept increasing, because in my mind, its all i was worth..10 bucks. i wanted out, but i tried to not think about wanting out because it was so far from my reality, i would constantly just kick myself for even thinking about it... id think" jheeze rachel y cant u just stop dreaming and accept your life, this is it and its all its ever gonna be, y cant u accept that this is who you are?" the answer is because its not who i was, and God knew that. and if this entry has sounded nething like u...its not who u are either. you are soo much more than that, and i know that, and God knows that. you deserve a life better than what your giving yourself, you are worth so much more than any amount of money. what...dont believe me??

Romans 5:6-11:
   ⁶You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ⁹Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! ¹⁰For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! ¹¹Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

ok how kool is that? even though we are sinners christ will still love us!! He died specifically for YOUR sins, just becuz he loves YOU so much that he couldnt bear having to spend eternity without you! he wants to know you...he wants u to know him. he wants to take away all of your pain and show you what it is like to be valued and loved. he loves you so much that the only price he could put on u...was his very life. all you have to do is ask and he will help you. and dont even begin to think that thought about u not being good enough for it.(ik thats what your thinking) look at the woman in the passage...she was a major sinner, and jesus took mercy on her, and forgave her no questions asked. u dont have to explain yourself or your decisions, all you have to do is ask God to forgive you, let him into your heart, and he'll do the rest.

Luv-your sister in christ,

  rachel

p.s. the end of my story cuz you mite be wondering how i ended up with a bible in my hands writing in a devotional site. one of my new friends (since all my old ones wanted nothing to do with me) dragged me into church on nite. i broke down...i mean like full out bawling. i knew i had to change, so i did. and here i am 5 months later clean of any drugs or alcohol or inappropriate relationships. and i owe it all to God and his great mercy. i wish i could say i got all my old friends back and things are all happy and dandy for me but i cant. people still think im nasty and still say bad things and i still crave drugs and i still havent worked things out with my mom. but that's okay..becuz when people act like your not good enough, thats just when u have to prove that your better than they think you are. and that doesnt mean u have to go and tell everyone LOOK IM CLEAN, all you have to do is work hard to make yourself a better person and live your life for God, and everything else will take care of itself in Gods time. Thats the key...In Gods time. when im ready i will reconsile with my mom, but im just not there yet, and He will let me know when I am. he knows my heart and he knows your heart...so are you ready for a change??

O man guys something really awesome just happen this week. On Friday, my school had to take pictures for JROTC and drill team and color guard pictures. So, I and everyone on the drill team are standing in formation. and all of the sudden 1st Sergeant, a really  cool guy who is very deeply connected with the Drill team, comes up to us and says,"This group of people is to big. Some of you don't even come to the practices, hand over your drill team cords do it know." So our commander went up to everyone who didn't come to practice and took away their drill team cords, right in front of everyone. It was like a mix of being embarassed, and degraded all at the same time. But what was awesome was while I was standing in formation, Daniel (The Drill Team commander) came up to me and said,"Congratulations Gilchrist, your on Varsity." So he hands me the Drill Team Varsity cord, I was totally blown away. On top of that, I was picked Cadet of the Month. They took my picture and everything, it felt great. I was just thanking God, over and over. Saying to him, how can I show that I am thankful for this Father? It was great. I hope you guys are having an awesome weekend, God Bless you guys. Your in my prayers always.

I said, "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence." But when I was silent and still, not even saying anything good, my anguish increased. My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue...- Psalms 39:1-3

Hey guys, I just got back from this youth fall retreat thing like 15 minutes ago. Man it was a lot of fun. Me and 13 other people went to this Youth camp called Camp Pineywoods Baptist Encampment. Our Youth Minister is the son-in-law of the manager who runs the whole camp, so the owner had showed us around personally and showed us all the challenge courses and stuff like that. You see the whole purpose was to just get away from the city and chill out. The city we were in had like 2 houses and one little post office,( it was basically alittle shack) so as you would think it was so nice and quiet compared to hot humid Houston. On one of the low ropes courses, there was this wall that was suspended by cords by these two trees. High above the wall was a window,(without the glass) big enough for a person to go through. The scenario was that the building we were in was on fire and we had 3 minutes to get 8 people through this window. It was so intense I was just telling all my friends,"Dude the building is on fire lets go lets go!" We were just getting them up through the window as fast as we could, in fact there was one guy left and he had to try and make it through the window himself, the owner who was watching says,"O man you got 10 seconds, your legs are on fire go go!" We helped him but his legs were still on fire. And earlier today we got to go to the high ropes courses, that was awesome. There is this one called the tower, it's only 40 feet or so tall. But when you get to the top, they strap you to a bungee cord and just throw you off. When I did it, the guy was straping me down with the cords and stuff, he picks me up and throws me off. I free-falled for a good 25 feet, and then just swung back and forth, oh man it was awesome. You get the most excellent rush when your falling and swinging, I definently recommend that to Jon or Dante or Rebekah, man you guys would love it. Anyway, I hope you guys have an awesome thanksgiving holiday, God Bless.

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.-Isaiah 42:16

Hey guys, sorry I haven't posted anything for quite sometime. I hope you guys are doing ok though, I have praying for you guys everyday! There is so much to tell it's crazy. Lately though I have been really involved in JROTC, (Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps), it has really been rewarding and fun. Especially since I joined the drill team, it's alot of fun. In the drill team we spin and drill with rifles, in fact we just had a competition last Saturday. We did alot better than last time. It's cool because even though I am a fish, alot of my commanders who are juniors or seniors, (not trying to say I am better or anything) see me do the drills and what not really well and compliment and call me 1st sergeant. I really want to be commander of the drill team one day. I tell you though, God has really really helped me out with school. Man I remember in one of the competitions, I was standing at attention, and the master sergeant came to inspect me. Of course you know I am standing at attention as stiff and solid as I can, so he comes up to me and inspects me. He asks me a few questions the serial number on my rifle and so on. Until he looks at my very unpolished and neglected belt buckle and goes, "When was the last time you polished that belt buckle cadet?", I go, "This morning sir!", he goes, "and what did you shine it with cadet?" , I go "Windex sir!", he says "well you gotta use brasso next time you got that!?" , I say, "Sir yes sir!" and he moves on. It may not be all that funny to you guys, but to all my drill team buddies, they still joke around with me and say,"Hey Gilchrist, what do you shine your belt buckle with?". Life has been great. I hope you guys are doing awesome. Im still praying for all you guys, I know that in some way, God is working through your life whether you realize it or not. Put God first at the top of your list, and things will be great after that. God Bless.

Isaiah 59:1 "Behod, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear."