... I don't know what to do. Next week I have a date with Fausto. A que se debe eso? I don't know if I am doing the right hing.  It's that I am so alone.  Mario, has his problems but doesn't seem to want me to be involved. I want to. I know he needs someone to talk to.  He needs someone to be there. I want to be there but the doors are being closed in my face. He means a lot to me. I am afraid to loose him.  I have worked so hard to make it work. I have done things that I thought I would never do for a person. He has to make choice. Either he wants me to be a part of his turbulance or madness or he can let me go.  I barely see him. I feel like I am not important to him. I have my problems, I go to school and I work. I still make time to see him. If he told me to come around his job because he wants to see me I would go. No questions asked. I am so . So, I ask should I go on this date. Fausto knows the deal. He knows what's up between me and him.  I didn't have to bullshyt the man. He knew what was up. I just want to feel like I am someone important. Geeezzz... Anyway, I am out.. XOXOX Sony

Another day ... Fukk I have a speech to do at 3 ... I thought it was suppose to snow??? What's all the fukkin' hype for?   That means I have to get my things ready, shower and chow down before heading to school.  I neeed a vacation. I'm just gonna write what happened to me yesterday during work.  Why! WHY! WHY! must everything be in concept.  It's a freakin' retail store for crying out loud ... You see I work at Sephora (Cosmetics, Fragrance, Skin care solutions, Hair products) and they emphasize how we should be in our costumes and how we have to wear red lipstick and how everything in that fukkin' place has to be sooooooooooo perfect and precise to the point where we are clients guinea pigs. Anyway... Having said that. I had a kinda bad day at work yesterday. This one client or as we normal people would say- CUSTOMER, came in yesterday and asked if we had  product. So, I kindly walked her over too the product and she was fascinated and she wanted to further explain the product and so I did.  Then, all of a sudden this old fat head comes along and starts speaking to me as tough I am across the goddamn street and demands service from me ... Knowing that I am helping someone.  Anyway, so I gathered myself together and told her that I would get someone to assist her. When I told her that ... FORGET IT all hell broke loose.  She told me that if I wasn't willing to work that I should've stayed home. That I am good for nothing. I wanted to curse her out but I held back and called higher authority on her stupid ass.  So, then management came and told her that her insults weren't necessary .. blah blah blah and told her to leave the store. I was pissssed .. but then I got over it once I saw her in the street. heheheheheheheeee.. I was chewing my gum and I threw it at he furry hair and it landed on the side of her right side of her bushy hair.......... Revenge is sweet....Bitch got what she deserved.  ..... 2bcont...Sony

   Lost Kiss

I embed the sheets that morning,

The crisp air brings sudden ease to scattered thoughts,

I lie on the fringe of my days without you,

Scornful memories are teadious to the mind of a woman who once loved it's company,

Though it wasn't always that way,

I clutch few good memories and keep them from the plague of another man's love,

How I miss you,

The vestige that was left behind shattered every mundane image I had of the world,

I stared at anguish face to face,

You didn't have to go-

I begged you not to go-

Constricting, as you bid your farewell,

The wind took that,

I still lie in disbelief.

                                             All rights reserved .... ST*

 Dear Mario:

Damn.. Where can I begin. I love you.  That's a good start.  WoW.. we are going to make a year in a month. I think that's awesome. I believe in us and making our year and many more the best.  We know what we have. And it's totally irreplaceable. I hope we can embrace everything that has happened to us together as one. Instead of fighting it off. ((Which we barely ever do)).  You know I would do anything for you. I think I have made that clear since the first time we met. I just truly hope that you love me and that you won't under any circumstances break my heart.  I can't and wouldn't bare to see you with someone else that wasn't me. I think that we are for one another. If we managed to come this far than we can go even further. You are everything I know when I wake up in the morning, when I go to work, when I go to school, and when I go to sleep.  I am not perfect .. and you know that.  But I know I was given something to share with someone who is willing to hold onto it and understand it and love it just as much as I would. XOXOXOX Sony