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| Most Christians fail to grow in their faith either b/c they don't realize they ought to grow or b/c they don't know how to grow. They remain spiritually weak and immature, never experiencing the fullness of life that Jesus promised His followers. You can be sure that Satan delights in an immature Christian. An immature Christian: - is an ineffective Christian, making little impact for Christ on the lives of others.
- is an inconsistent Christian, living for Christ one day and forgetting Him the next.
- provides plenty of ammunition for those who say they don't believe in Christ b/c they think the church is full of hypocrites.
A baby isn't meant to stay a baby forever, and neither is a Christian. God's goal for us is spiritual maturity. God never removes something from our lives without replacing it with something far better! God's will is good, pleasing, and perfect. Our journey - our race - lasts as long as God gives us life, and we aren't meant to wander off the track, or quit and join the spectators, or decide we'll just slow down and take it easy while others pass us by. This book has been great! All the above is from this book. Back to UCCIII.  | | |
| I love Saturdays. It's the day I get to spend extra time w/ my Father. No time constraints b/c I have to run anywhere. No classes to worry about. Homework can be done on Sundays. I turn on my praise and worship music. I open my Bible. I talk to Him and He talks to me. I write in my journal and at times, read back to remember His goodness in my life. Today I also studied two lessons in Breaking Free. I fell a little behind b/c of my estate plan project. I learned about betrayal of a close friend. Oh, I have felt the "sting" of that. Death of a loved one, heartbreak, and betrayal of a close friend (in no order) ranks high in my book of the most painful times in my life. I can handle having a lot to do, having to complete a difficult task, but w/ emotional pain, I hurt w/ my heart, body, mind, and soul. And I'm a dweller which makes it even harder. I remember asking God a while back why He made me such a sensitive person. I wish that things just "rolled" off of me. And He answered me through reading one of Ruth's books: A sensitive nature makes one vulnerable to hurts. A person does not have to be deliberately hurt to feel pain. Thoughtlessness, sarcasm, tone of voice, indifference - each has the ability to wound. Each time something unpleasant happened to me, there was the subconsious decision never, if possible, to hurt someone else that same way. For me, therefore, it became a valuable bit of training. - Ruth Bell Graham I thank God for making me the way I am. I have made that decision never, if possible, to hurt someone else that same way. So how do we deal w/ betrayal? There's no way to avoid it unless we put all our friends on friend probation, move to the mountains, and live alone. After today's lesson, I made three promises w/ my Father: - I will choose to fellowship w/ Christ in the midst of it.
- I will choose to trust the sovereignty of our Heavenly Father who allowed it (NOT caused it).
- Betrayal can either hurt or hurt. Or hurt and help. I choose hurt and help.
And you know I can't end an entry w/o something about pride/proud. Sent to me by Diem when she and others went to the Nancy Leigh DeMoss conference. It's good stuff. It will make you look at pride in a fresh new way. Proud People vs. Broken People
Focus on the failures of others
| Are overwhelmed with a sense of their own spiritual need.
| Have a critical, fault-finding spirit; look at everyone else’s faults with a microscope, but their own with a telescope
| Are compassionate; can forgive much because they know how much they have been forgiven
| Are self-righteous; look down on others
| Esteem all others better than themselves
| Have an independent, self-sufficient spirit
| Have a dependent spirit; recognize their own need for others
| Have to prove that they are right
| Are willing to yield the right to be right
| Claim rights; have a demanding spirit
| Yield their rights; have a meek spirit
| Are self-protective of their time, their rights, and their reputation
| Are self-denying
| Desire to be served
| Are motivated to serve others
| Desire to be a success
| Are motivated to be faithful and to make others a success
| Desire self-advancement
| Desire to promote others
| Have a drive to be recognized and appreciated
| Have a sense of their own unworthiness; are thrilled that God would use them at all
| Are wounded when others are promoted and they are overlooked
| Are eager for others to get the credit and rejoice when others are lifted up
| Have a subconscious feeling, “This ministry/church is privileged to have me and my gifts;” think of what they can do for God
| Have a heart attitude that says, “I don’t deserve to have a part in any ministry;” know that they have nothing to offer God except the life of Jesus flowing through their broken lives
| Feel confident in how much they know
| Are humbled by how very much they have to learn
| Are self-conscious
| Are not concerned with self at all
| Keep others at arms’ length
| Are willing to risk getting close to others and to take risks of loving intimately
| Are quick to blame others
| Accept personal responsibility and can see where they are wrong in a situation
| Are unapproachable or defensive when criticized
| Receive a criticism with a humble, open spirit
| Are concerned with being respectable, with what others think; work to protect their own image and reputation
| Are concerned with being real; what matters to them is not what others think but what God knows; are willing to die to their own reputation
| Find it difficult to share their spiritual need with others
| Are willing to be open and transparent with others as God directs
| Want to be sure that no one finds out when they have sinned; their instinct is to cover up
| Once broken, don’t care who knows or who finds out; are willing to be exposed because they have nothing to lose
| Have a hard time saying “I was wrong; will you please forgive me?”
| Are quick to admit failure and to seek forgiveness when necessary
| Tend to deal in generalities when confessing sin
| Are able to acknowledge specifics when confessing their sin
| Are concerned about the consequences of their sin
| Are grieved over the cause, the root of their sin
| Aren’t remorseful over their sin, sorry that they got found out or caught
| Are truly, genuinely repentant over their sin, evidenced in the fact that they forsake that sin
| Wait for the other to come and ask forgiveness when there is a misunderstanding or conflict in relationship
| Take the initiative to be reconciled when there is misunderstanding or conflict in relationships; they race to the cross; they see if they can get there first, no matter how wrong the other may have been
| Compare themselves with others and feel worthy of honor
| Compare themselves to the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for His mercy
| Are blind to their true heart condition
| Walk in the light
| Don’t think they have anything to repent of
| Realize they have need of a continual heart attitude of repentance
| Don’t think they need revival, but are sure that everyone else does
| Continually sense their need for a fresh encounter with God and for a fresh filling of His Holy Spirit
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Brokenness is not: false humility, emotional experience, a feeling. Brokenness is: A choice; an act of my will. An ongoing, continual lifestyle. A lifestyle of agreeing with God. (what God sees). Unconditional, absolute surrender of my will to the will of God. The shattering of my self-will. My response of humility and obedience to the conviction of the Spirit and the Word.
Gotta run and cook now. Last Bible study in our home... | | |
| Some great things I've learned lately... Song of Solomon w/ Voddie Baucham I want to tell you a little bit about Voddie. He is a first generation Christian in his family. Out of 25 of his first cousins, only 4 lived w/ their fathers. He was born to an unwed teenage mother and both he and his wife witnessed many broken marriages in their families. That was their legacy...YET, through knowing Christ and obeying his commands, Voddie and his wife have been able to turn their generation around. They're married for almost 20 years, homeschool their children, and are such a great example of how God can change and bless anyone. It was great to hear him speak. I love hearing from a preacher who is committed to his wife and children - preachers that take their role as a husband and father seriously. - There is no person in this world that is outwardly attractive enough to make up for foul character.
- Dating when you're not ready is like shopping w/o money. You either:
- Leave frustrated.
- Take something that doesn't belong to you.
- So if you're not ready, get out of the game b/c the only thing you'll get is disappointment.
- When are you ready to date?
- Biblical standard by which you measure for what you're attracted
- Committed to this standard w/o compromise.
- YOU are worthy of that kind of person. This is key!
- Father's job: Priest, Prophet, Provider, and Protector. Voddie said that until he found someone who could take over those four roles for his daughter will he allow his daughter to date. WOW!
- Ladies: When you talk about your man to others, do you run him down or build him up? Do people come away w/ a higher or lower opinion of your man? Build your man up to him AND to others around you b/c he's the banner that's over you and he's your man. The world already tears him down a lot!
- Winning in marriage is like your right arm beating your left arm. What good is that?? LOL!
- My personal favorite: Play the "remember when" game and it will make you see how you don't want to throw everything away. It's hard to play that and let a conflict wreck a marriage. That's what King Solomon did after his conflict w/ his wife.
- God wants you to get to the point that if your spouse wants to leave you, you'll tell him/her, you're going w/ him/her.
- Men: We are emotional to what matters to us. There's no excuse for men! Learn how to be emotional w/ your wife.
- Too bad that many parents focus more on education than preparing their children for marriage. Ask parents about education and they'll tell you they've saved this much money, planned for their children to go to this school, bought SAT books, etc, BUT ask if they've talked to their children about marriage, they look back at you w/ a blank stare. Sad, sad, sad!!
New Life Providence Church Pastor Dan has been really pounding into us about getting back to the Bible - sola scriptura. It's been very convicting to me and he's taught me so much. - When you're under pressure, your real worldview comes out.
- If you study anything for 1 hr/day for 1 year, you will become an expert in that area. Study the Bible!
- God wants you holy. Happiness is a byproduct.
- If your Pastor were to borrow your Bible to speak at your funeral, what would it look like? Pastor Dan asked for the Bible of an older woman in his church when he was conducting her funeral. She was a godly, spiritual woman and he could tell why. Her Bible was duct taped, highlighted, torn up, lined, had notes written in the margins, etc.
Breaking Free by Beth Moore Simply amazing! I am learning so much everyday. She really teaches me to fall in love w/ God. - Speaking well of Christ and even being amazed by His works and words does NOT equal belief.
- Christ came to set the captive free - no matter what kind of yoke binds them. He came to bind up the brokenhearted - no matter what broke the heart. He came to open the eyes of the blind - no matter what veiled their vision.
- A Christian is held captive by ANYTHING that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life God planned for her.
- Living a life that glorifies God = living a life that reveals God.
- HUGE DIFFERENCE between salvation from sin and satisfaction of the soul. Salvation secures our lives for all eternity. Soul satisfaction insures abundant life on earth.
- The key to peace is authority. When we allow the Prince of Peace to govern our lives, peace either immediately or ultimately results. Peace accompanies authority.
- You may never feel like giving your circumstances, hurt, or loss to Him; but you can choose to submit to His authority out of belief and obedience rather than emotion. Obedience is the mark of authentic surrender to God's authority in any matter.
- Peace like a river = having security and tranquillity of heart and mind while meeting the bumps and unexpected turns on life's journey through change. Peace = submission to a trustworthy Authority NOT resignation from all activity.
- Those who possess a God-glorifying attitude have allowed Him to assume a definite position in their personal lives that can't help becoming conspicuous.
- Enemy's thinking: He'd rather see us serve ourselves into the ground, b/c he knows we'll eventually grow resentful w/o prayer. He'd rather see us study the Bible into the wee hours of the morning, b/c he knows we'll never have deep understanding and power to live what we've learned w/o prayer. He knows prayer-less lives are powerless lives, while prayerful lives are powerful lives!
- The person who studies God's Word in depth, and experiences a consistent lack of enjoyment of God often suffers from a condition w/ an ugly name - legalism.
- Legalism results when three conditions occur:
- Regulations replace relationship.
- Microscopes replace mirrors. Concentrating on the shortcomings of others can cheat a Christian of truly enjoying the presence of God. Let God's Word become a mirror of what you wanted reflected in your life.
- Performance replaces passion. If our motivation for obedience is anything other than love and devotion for God, we're probably up to our eyeballs in legalism and in for disaster.
- Our prayers become more powerful when we are better acquainted with:
- His personality
- His promises
- His practices
When God's People Pray The prayer meeting is really a very excellent barometer of the spiritual maturity of any given church. That's just a matter of fact. You can tell how popular the church is by who comes on Sunday morning and how popular the pastor or guest speaker is by who comes on Sunday night or for a special meeting. But you can really find out how much the people really know God and love Jesus by who will come just to wait on the Lord in prayer. - Jim Cymbala | | |
| Oh my! I have so much to share and so little time. There's the DC trip, Song of Solomon in Charlotte, visiting a Vietnamese Assembly of God Church in Charlotte (first time I've ever seen one!), Billy Graham Library, Breaking Free Bible study, When God's People Pray, and a special angel God sent to me and my friends while we were in Charlotte. I will update in detail w/ photos this weekend. So busy that I have not even downloaded the photos to my computer yet! For now, here's a tidbit of what I've been learning in Breaking Free. Something funny first. One of my friends told me that my entries are more...serious now. Not bad serious, but gone are the days of "someone stole my turkey?!?", "are you looking at my pimple?!?", "colonix update", "I hit a pole at Target", and "I can touch my toes now!". I don't know why...maybe b/c God has been teaching me so much lately that I don't want my friends to miss a thing and I just got busier. Don't worry, I will post more embarassing and awkward stories of my life soon. Back to Breaking Free. So I've been learning a lot about pride and how it has destroyed ministries, marriages, friendships, jobs, and character. I've been praying a lot about it asking God to show me areas of pride in my life so I can humble myself b/f God in that area. And then Beth directed us to Jeremiah 13:15-17. I read the verse and then the commentary. In the commentary, it tells us when pride is harmful. Ready friends? Get your pencils and gelly roll pens out (best pens hands down to mark up the Bible b/c it doesn't bleed). Pride is harmful when it causes us to: - Look down on others.
- Be selfish w/ our resources.
- Force our solutions on others' problems.
- Think God is blessing us b/c of our own merits.
- Be content with our plans rather than seeking God's plans.
Beth goes on to say that pride will be a huge inhibitor to our journey w/ God b/c: - God wants to get to our hearts. Pride covers the heart.
- God wants to free us from any hindrances in our past. Pride refuses to take a fresh look back.
- God wants to treat us w/ the prescription of the Word. Pride doesn't like to be told what to do.
- God wants to set us completely free. Pride thinks he's free enough.
- God wants to bring us out of dark closets. Pride says secrets are nobody's business.
- God wants to help us w/ constraining problems. Pride denies there is a problem.
- God wants to make us strong in Him. Pride won't admit to weakness.
But here's the solution: - View pride as a vicious enemy b/c pride comes before destruction.
- View humility as a friend b/c God gives grace to the humble and lifts them up.
- Humble ourselves before God b/c humility is not something we have until humbling ourselves is something we do.
Man! This is good stuff. I hope this has been a blessing to you as it has been to me. After praying a lot about pride, God has brought my attention to so much of it in me and examples in others (Bible & real life). Now I see why so many people change to an "elitist" attitude when they are successful. It's natural to be prideful but being humble takes action and practice. Back to my estate plan now. Why oh why did I make my estate plan so ridiculously scandalous and difficult?!? Here are my facts (I based it off of a Vietnamese drama I watch a long time ago): My client left his disabled wife for a 22 year old and now he feels guilty and want to make sure his ex-wife is provided for just in case he dies. He has five kids. Two w/ the ex-wfe and three young children w/ the current wife. The current wife is an heiress and doesn't need his money but he wants to make sure all his children are cared for if he dies. They have a prenuptual agreement. I have to find a way to avoid estate & gift tax as much as possible (not tax evasion b/c that's illegal, my friends). I chose the complicated route b/c I guess I'd rather look like an idiot in law school trying to figure this out than in the real world. Pray for me. I have to present my fact pattern and solution tomorrow. | | |
| Today I took my composite photo (somewhat like a yearbook photo) and I'm telling you, that photographer was aiming for my double chin. I felt like I was taking a Glamour Shots photo with all the funky poses he was making me do. Why couldn't he just take a normal photo? It was so ugly. I felt so awkward I didn't even smile right. What am going to say to my grandchildren now??? I am on a weight loss plan. I'm going on a cruise in less than three weeks and I want to take advantage of the all-u-can-eat buffet on the cruise so I need to whittle down one size. I've tried the be-good-for-five-days-and-bad-for-two-days diet, but it hasn't worked for me yet. I think it's harder to lose weight when you're older. I've started eating oatmeal and fruit every morning and it has helped a little. I should exercise and stop eating government cheese and guacamole. I think I eat that a lot here in VA b/c I miss Mexican food. I have tried three Mexican restaurants in VA and they are terrible! Fajitas taste like Chinese stir fry and they don't even make their own tortillas...gasp!! These restaurants would be shut down within two weeks if they were opened in Houston! Back to weight loss plan. I think I'm going to learn how to eat until I am satisfied (Sarah told me this) instead of stuffed and not eat after 7pm. On another note, God has been teaching me so much. As I said in my last entry, I just finished reading Philippians. 2008 will be the year of reconciliation. In Philippians 4, I've read this passage many times before but it was not until 2008 that I noticed this part in the beginning of this chapter. Paul addressed relational problems in the church. There were two women who had been workers for Christ in the church. Their broken relationship was no small matter, b/c many had become believers through their efforts. And here is the sad, sad situation: It is possible to believe in Christ, work hard for the kingdom, and yet have broken relationships w/ others who are committed to the same cause. But there is NO EXCUSE for remaining unreconciled. Oh how convicted I felt!! And what an answer to my question to God in November 2007. As Christians, we should feel more compelled to mend relationships. Of course, we do our part and leave the rest to God b/c obviously we can't make someone be our friend. Their healing time table could be completely different from ours. But we must make that first, humbling step. Another image God gave me was this: If I was on my death bed, would I even remember why I was so hurt to begin with? Would it even matter? Do I really want to live this way - carrying this baggage? And my answer to God...of course not! I shouldn't allow anyone to steal my joy. God answered another one of my questions. I wrote this quote on my xanga in December 2007: "We long to find someone who has been where we've been, who share our fragile places, who sees our sunsets with the same shades of blue. Soulmates. They somehow validate the depth of our experiences." - Beth Moore I'm taking a Beth Moore bible study Breaking Free and I am only on week 1 and it is amazing! I heard of this study in 1999 and have wanted to take it but never had the chance. I told God this year I missed being more involved in church. Being in law school, it doesn't give me much time to do anything "extra" besides going to church on Sunday. But this last semester I'm taking less hours to I decided to join and I am so glad I did! On the second day's study, Beth Moore asked us about heros in our lives and the first person who came to my mind was my mother. And then I realized I lost my best friend. She was the person who has been where I've been, who shared my fragile places, who saw my sunsets with the same shades of blue. And she somehow validated the depth of my experiences. We were so much the same. Same wicked sense of humor, ditziness, wackiness, and enjoyment of God. We could sit and talk about God for hours on end and not grow tired. The only difference between us was probably my anal retentive nature about being organized with anything that had to do w/ numbers (checkbooks, bookkeeping, checking your credit card statements). That's probably the area that we would bicker most. But other than that, after God, we were each other's go-to person. Then Beth Moore shared this and quoted the late Oswald Chambers saying: Over and over again God has to remove our friends in order to bring Himself in their place, and that is where we faint and fail and get discouraged. Take it personally: In the year that the one who stood to me for all that God was, died - I gave up everything? I became ill? I got disheartened? Or - I saw the Lord? It must be God first, God second, and God third, until the life is faced steadily with God and no one else is of any account whatever.
She goes on to say, "At no time is our vision more capable of seeing God in His rightful place than when the focus of our former attentions has been removed from our sight." I finished that lesson encouraged. I'm going to be candid. Ever since my mother passed away, I've felt lonely at times. I've never met another woman that shared the same excitement for God. Someone that hungers for God like her. Someone that I could run to, share a praise report, and just know she'd rejoice as much as I would. Someone stable in her faith in God who would encourage me when I need encouragement, tell it like it is when I need the cold hard truth, and pray for me wholeheartedly. But God is so good. Each time I've felt even a tad bit lonely, He was there and he showed me that I wasn't alone. He's brought many great friends in my life, but at the same time, He's taught me to depend solely on Him. I know how to come to him directly now and I saw the Lord. I've experienced what Isaiah experienced in Isaiah 6:1-8. I'm so thankful right now.  And now some photos:     
   
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