&someday you will ache like i ache.
</3

see, here's my little secret.

DARLINGS;;click this. i need a change;;i do<3
see you there.

remember a while back (erm, january) i promised myself to re-do my room? wellll...i finally did. =)

so, here's the before:

the "work-in-progress":

(daniel johns from silverchair)

(for those of you who don't know, it says "zey loves mr. toomy" mr. toomy is bronson's character in the langoliers. jeordie thought it would be essential to add that in)

(jeordie working.)

(i'm trent by the way, heheh.)

&the after:

(xanga updating headquarters)


(&one of me..*gasp* without make up! just thought i'd throw that in, too.)

//

i'm so very, very happy with my new room<3
(p.s. thankyou all so much for the comments on that last little hopeless post of mine. i love you all!! <33 )

dear guy of my dreams,
   please show up soon. thank you.
<3me.

tried to save myself but myself keeps slipping away.

&how many times have we been down this road?
i know you;i don't remember you;i don't want to.
&i'd love to let you know,
you're going to die alone.
&i'd love to let you know,
you're fucking on your own.<3

these are your shards, your memories, your losses. these are things we have wished for all this time. &maybe falling so hard didn't hit you the way it hit me, but you've changed so much lately. i miss the phone calls, i miss the late night movies, i miss walking hand in hand at night on the sidewalks of new york, counting all the streetlights &wishing on them. i miss sneaking out of the house and meeting you at starbucks at 4am.

i miss the way you pressed your lips to mine &how perfect that always felt.<3

&these times are all yours now, you hold onto them, you keep them safe in your mind so you'll have something to keep you grounded. you're the one who could never let go;never. &when we bump into each other on the street, i'll still greet you with the same hello so you'll know i never stopped loving you. &it'll be a simple kiss on the cheek, that's all. you'll find someone new to get attached too, &i'll move on because i want have to.

maybe in a month or two, i can forget your name.

&the only thing i need right now is this.

edit//

&yes, sometimes i do want someone that loves me, someone that thinks i'm stunning no matter what. yes, i have fucking feelings, &yes, i am a hopeless romantic. yes, it hurts when someone yells "cunt" when i walk by, or they laugh at me with their friends. &yeah, no matter how much i say i'm better off, i do need someone sometimes.

yes, i do feel insignificant, but we all do at times, right?

i'm not like the rest of you, sorrysorrysorry.
then again, i'm not.