I fear you because I love you.  is this nonsense?  fear and love invaded deep inside me all together.  I want to love you but fear won't let me.  I fear you because I might love you too much too far.  What is fear doing to love?  How come love is not fighting back hard enough?  What do I do with these two?  They're both so strong and addictive, sensitive and dark.  They are both too forceful.

Right now I need emotional and physical balance. I want those. for good...

I sat on myself today,
and I tried to knock on my heart but no one answered,
I felt heavy and empty,
so I tried to get up from myself and sit somewhere else,
but somehow I couldn't,
I was afraid but soon became nonchalant,
I just had to sit on myself,
and I have to bear the heaviness and emptiness still.

If I become your heart, will you be my vessels to keep me alive?

the memories of the past,
suck me in and abandon me,
tempt me and shred me. 

spots of emotions wander like the stars in the sky,
shining in the dark and catching my eyes,
seduces me with the look of longing and yearning,
take me with you to your world, i sliently wish,
but the moment i deviate from you,
i'm back on earrh where i'm alone.

amor de loca juventud....

youth is lost but found in time
beauty is lost but found in soul
self is lost but found in faith