| I've noticed that I only write in my xanga when I don't want the massive mess of myspace friends to read what I'm feeling.
I'm just frustrated, that's all... I mean, I'm out of High School and all (that's a majour good thing)... but everything I'm leaving behind just seems kind of... I dunno... extremely ephemeral. Everything from the friends to the education just seems kind of like.. a waste of time? It's a horrible way to look at it, I know... but honestly, think about it.
I'm already not talking to my friends... and some have already left to either far away countries or states... it's just kind of like... what now?
Gaah... I dunno... I'm just looking into all this too much... but whatever...
I'm already beginning to miss everything/one.
But I'm excited for what's to come.
oy vey.
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| I can't help but feel sad right now... Something's missing... I know
there's an empty hole just waiting, begging to be filled. But I either
just can't find what I need to fill that hole, or I've already given
up. It's a vacuum... and it steadily grows larger, sucking in more...
I
myself grow, as well... grow more tired and sad. I can fool you a
smile... camoflauge my nature... I am actor, a deceit, and a fake.
Histrionic to the bone. Sometimes I feel as if perhaps I have a
medical condition--will some sort of prescription help me? I don't
feel comfortable where I'm at; I'm impatient, prudent, and immature...
I
allow my emotions to get the best of me... I stand back and watch as
everything around me changes--but do I? I forget... I forget about
that which allows me to see everything in a clearer sense. I'm
shrouded... shrouded in a gloom.
My friends are overshadowed
by my contempt... I smile while they surround me... they protect me
from myself... But what about when they're gone... I'm left to my own
doings. I remember that, in reality, I'm always alone.
And
even when the opportunity to allow someone in opens up... I run
away... I become overwhelmed by thoughts of insecurity and disgrace.
I know not who I am... I once found myself, many many months ago... But
once again, I believe Erick has disembarked and left me here to
ruminate among these thoughts...
I need someone... someone... |
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| i've never had a crush on another mexican before... Alfredo was almost there... but he kinda skipped that step... heh.
i really want him.
like, REALLY.
gahh.....
...i hate being 17.
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| i'm still alive.
i got a haircut 2 days ago.
i'm stressing about an english term paper that's due on monday and i've done NO research whatsoever.
i'm still single.
and nothing else really matters.
yup, that's my life right now.
isn't it just exciting?
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| the only reason i liked Xanga was because I can customize my blog to
the point where it could be an actual website detached from my life...
...and it completely helped me go from noob to amateur webmaker.
but now it's just like, blah.
i like myspace.
and for now, i'm totally going there for good. i actually get comments on my blogs over there. :)
so yah... CLICK HERE FOR MY MYSPACE.
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ESepulvedaBlvd
