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speaknow_ordie
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Name: Kay
Country: United States
State: Florida
Metro: Daytona Beach
Birthday: 6/17/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: BOYS lol...Talking, phoning (talking onthe phone), surfin the web, sports like track and softball, readin, playing piano (I rock at it), hanging with my friends, watching movies, MUSIC HELLO.
Expertise: Boys. Talking. celebrities. Fashion. I'm your classical girly girl stereotype.
Occupation: Advertising
Industry: Media
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/1/2005
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| Everything's awesome with Kyle. It's like OMG.
That party was wild. Like really wild. Beer, fights, date rape, everything you could imagine. I kept an eye on that b/f of Leah's. He kept wanting to go upstairs with her. She kept refusing. Then I was pushed outside. Kyle came around the back and we walked up this hill. It was dark and you could see the stars really well. Stuff happened... No not THAT. But like, it was kool. | | |
| I found him at the park. Sitting on that damn bench. He looked at me. He walked away.
"Kyle" I called to him. He continued to walk away. I run up to him and pull his shoulder towards me.
"What?" he demands. I'm not even taken back by his rudeness. It was just good to hear his voice again.
He turns the full way around. He's looking at me. With those eyes. With those lips that should be turned into a smile.
"I um... I, uh, I..." I can't seem to say it
"You what?" he demands again. Tears well up into my eyes. "We're over, Kay. We are. It just is."
"What? No, I just..." My chin trembles because I'm about to cry.
"Do you know what if feels like? DO YOU? Do you KNOW? It's over Kay. It just is." He turns to walk away.
Tears are slowly escaping my face. No. No this can't be it. It's not it. It's not.
"Kyle WAIT. Please. I needed to say something-"
"What?? What?" I smile through my tears.
"I love you too." I barely get out, my face almost covered with wet tears.
He just stands there. He turns around. I'm crying. He's a stone. He just, stands there. Thinking. Contemplating. He slowly walks over to me. He suddenly kisses me. omg omg omg it was deep and awesome and OMG. omg. omg. We kiss for a long time. I sing musical songs and hum during the night. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. omg omg omgomg. | | |
| Do I LOVE him? Do I? Well, let's consider the facts:
- He needs to be on this earth in order for me to survive
- I love to spend time with him and be around him
- He's an AWESOME kisser omg!
- I'm passed looks and like him deeper than that- personality
- He's so great and awesome and kind and OMG
- I'd die for him
- I know all the quirky facts about him
- So many more that I can't fit into words
Omg what if it is love? And I just screwed my chances of ever being with him again. Omg. No. No. Me and Kyle are like, on a break or something right now. I'd be on a break from myself too. I didn't say I love you to the one I love. Damn. What's wrong with me? I gotta say it! Cuz I mean it! But when? How? Ugh. So many questions. Can't figure it out now though. Grr. Ok then. Must go before Kyle dies or something. Ok. I love him. I love him. I. Love. Him. Hmm.... Easier than it sounds.
-kay kay | | |
| Kyle and I got into a fight. Well. Yeah. That pretty much sums it up. It sux. It just sux. I dunno what happened. He was like, "I love you." I dunno. It was after school. After we got off the bus. We were walking to the park. We sat on a bench. We kissed *omg omg omg*. Then he said it. I smiled at him. Then I scooted closer to him and looked beyond. Then he's like, "Kay..." and I look at him. And he's like, "I love you." And it was in a neutral voice. Well, it was soft. But it was loud. It was like, a normal voice. Almost like a gossip voice. Or something he didn't want anyone to hear. He almost whispered it. I turned to him. He wasn't laughing. He wasn't smiling. So I'm thinking he's serious. I turn all the way, my body totally facing him. I'm like, "...". I know he's waiting for a response, but I can't seem to open my mouth. Do I love him? What is LOVE anyway? I look at him. He must know. He said it. So I just freeze. He waits for a reply. "Seriously?" I say. I'm such an idiot. He frowns. "Yeah. Seriously." He's serious. How does he know what love is? We're 14 fuckin years old. Grr. So I just sit there. I usually don't say anything I don't mean, so when I say it, I really mean it. So I'm just sitting there. He then frowns more and turns away from me. "Ok then." he says. I think of a quick response. "No!" I said. "No, you don't love me?" Kyle asks, interrogating me. "No-" He cutts me off. "So what is it?" Agh! I stumble with my words. "I... don't know." He stands up and violently turns to me. "YOU DON'T KNOW? YOU DON'T KNOW? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW? YOU JUST LIKE ME??? WHAT THE FUCK KAY?" He's yelling through all of this. I made him mad. I feel like I'm about to cry. "No, no." I force out. I'm trying to prevent tears. My eyes get watery. "I say I love you, and you say you dont know???" Now I don't know what to do. I yell back at him. "I DON'T KNOW!! YES I DON'T KNOW!! HOW CAN I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK LOVE IS? WE'RE 14 FUCKING YEARS OLD!! HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?" He just gets angry. He looks like he's either going to slap me or cry. He does neither. He just stands there. His shoulders soften up. He's done. He looks taken back. Hurt. "I love you, Kay. I just fucking know. If you don't feel the same way, then..." He turns his back to me and walks away. Tears escape from my eyes in a waterfall. | | |
| Woo I've been given a FREE trial of Xanga Premium. Like I care. Ahh more kisses with Kyle. I have no problems. I'm free. Grr that damn party. This weekend. Grr. Leah. With that senior. That slimy senior. That playa. Omg this girl called me a slut today when I kissed Kyle on the way to fourth period. Get over it girl.
Anywayz. Randi wants to lose her virginity so bad. That slut. She's like, "Omg Kay, why am I stilla virgin? I mean, I'm hot, young, and attainable!" Randi shouldn't use big words like that. She could trip or get confused or something. Randi's been acting like a bizatch lately. I think she likes Kyle.
Kyle was all over me today. I was glad. He's goin to the party wit me. Couches, alchohol, beds, what more do you need? lol just kidding. I'm not desperate peeps. Just being with him, it's like omg. | | |
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