Monday, June 23, 2008

  • Happiness: Fire vs Water


    When I was younger, I chased after a type of happiness that could best be described as a fire. It burned bright and hot, but it burned fast. Winning tennis matches;  making new friends at summer camps and college;  flirting with my latest boy-toy;  dancing my heart out at parties and on stage;  acing exams and feeling smart... They were all such an intense burst of energy, a blazing rush of adrenaline and endorphins.

    As I grew up, I started to develop another kind of happiness that could be described as a substantial body of water. It was calmer, but deeper. Sharing a profound connection with my husband;  enjoying a low-key weekend;  dancing at home while swiffering.. in my undies;  understanding that there's so much more to learn and accomplish;  dedicating my time to meaningful ventures;  developing a stronger sense of self-worth... These joys flow slowly, steadily, and quietly.

    Both kinds of happiness are wonderful to experience. But in my opinion, "fire" is overglamorized by Hollywood and overhyped by the youth culture, while "water" is somehow underrated. Yes, fire seems more exciting and powerful. But don't mistake the gentleness of the water's surface for lack of strength. And although fires are easier to form, they are also quick to burn out and dependent upon fuel from external factors. On the other hand, water can actually help you stay afloat during the rough times thanks to the uplifting force of buoyancy.

    [ A collage of images of "water" happiness - calm, steady, deep, and buoyant. ]

    happiness from within-1 copy

    I see a lot of young people chase "fire" after "fire" to grab whatever short-lived happiness they can get their hands on. This includes people I really care about, like my younger sisters who are still in college. I sincerely hope that as they get older, they realize that true happiness is from within and not dependent upon external stimuli. Adrenaline and endorphins make for fun times, but hardly equal a fulfilling life.

    What are your thoughts on "fire" happiness vs "water" happiness? Have I grown wiser by realizing the worth of more "grown-up" types of pleasure? Or am I just a lame, old, married lady who can't handle the heat anymore?


Monday, June 16, 2008

  • "It's a Latin hat at that!"


    My friend's musical "In The Heights" won four Tony awards for Best Musical, Best Score, Best Orchestration, and Best Choreography! ..Not bad for a 28-year-old, eh?

    in the heights tony 2008

    To get a little taste of the musical's flava, check out their performance at the award show yesterday night.

    I think Lin-Manuel should have won another prize for best award acceptance speech ever! Watch him RAP his Tony award speech. (Start at 45 seconds into the clip) Lin is just endlessly entertaining.

    Of course, my favorite moment was when he rapped the sweetest lines to Vanessa, a really good friend of mine from college who he's been dating for years. (You might recognize her from the girls-night-out photo in a recent protected post.) Vanessa, you looked gorgeous on TV and I'm so happy that you found your "Mr. Write."

    Now go watch "In The Heights" while the brilliant and spectacular original cast is still performing!!


Monday, May 19, 2008

  • Better Latte Than Never


    I am a Latte Liberal.

    I only recently learned this pejorative label, and, sadly, it describes me well.

    Latte Liberal (also Limousine Liberal or Champagne Socialist)
    - a liberal who supports progressive causes but continues to live a privileged lifestyle

    For example:

    John Edwards champions the plight of the working class, but gets $400 haircuts and lives in gated opulence. He lectures about two Americas, one rich and the other poor. It's obvious to everyone but himself that the America he belongs to is not the same as the America that his father the steel mill worker belonged to. (And, apparently, neither America wants to vote for him.)

    Consider my case:

    • I too have a deep, personal empathy for those less fortunate. But not enough to give up my self-indulgent lifestyle.
    • I have enjoyed an extravagant dinner at a fancy restaurant and then served stale, donated bread to the homeless at a soup kitchen the very next morning.
    • My goals for the future include both owning a luxury apartment in Manhattan and volunteering my services in a developing country.
    • I support many Democratic policies. But I aspire to earn a salary in a Republican tax bracket.

    Some days, I wonder how such contradictory desires could co-exist within me. I guess I'm just a hypocrite. 

    But I don't see either the selfishness or the compassion changing any time soon. So I guess I'll have to learn to live with the "Latte Liberal" hypocrisy. And I know it's a derogatory term, but it's not soo bad... Better latte than never!



Saturday, May 10, 2008

  • "Wedding Gone Wild" : The Unbridaled Story


    Our cliff-side Caribbean wedding is featured in Modern Bride's latest issue.   [photo credit: Tony Yang]

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    It's pretty exciting to see our wedding in print. Derek and I are delighted that the people at Modern Bride chose to share details of our big day with their readers. (Thanks Holly and Eleni!)

    Just a few words to clear up some details:

    • The timeline of our relationship can be confusing. We started dating in high school in 1998 and graduated in '99 (him) and '00 (me). We went to college in different states so we broke up in '99. When 9/11 struck, we decided to go for the long-distance relationship and got back together in '01. After graduating from college, we both moved to NYC and started living together in '04. Got engaged in '05 and married in '06.
    • The article implies that Derek and I know a thing or two about ballroom dancing. I wish it were true, but sadly, it isn't. At all. 
    • Under the tidbit "Follow a Familiar Pattern," it mentions that the floral design on our ceremony program was based on the embroidery on the chipao that my mother wore at her own wedding reception. This detail was a very sentimental touch for me.

    Program Mom's ChiPao design copy.jpg


    Unfortunately, Modern Bride was limited to a 2-page spread and couldn't fit in some of my favorite stories or the wilder photos. Fortunately, I happen to have my own personal publishing platform. (Hooray for blogs!) So I'm going to share the inside scoop on the parts of the interview that didn't make it into the magazine spread.

    Wedding Gone Wild : The Unbridaled Story

    MB : The editor really liked that you and Derek had personalized vows and just wanted to get a little more specific about them. It’s completely understandable if you want to keep it personal. But was there at least a theme you would say was most prevalent throughout them (trust, friendship, etc.)?

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    For our vows, we started with what we loved about each other and our relationship, and ended with our promises on what we would work towards to keep our marriage strong. One of my favorite lines from my vows was "It would take me a lifetime to show you just how much you mean to me, and that's exactly what I vow to do from this day forward."

    32 copy.jpg

    My favorite part of Derek's vows was when he told me about all the sides of me that he loved. As most women are, I am a very complex and multidimensional woman and he went through all of my sides, from the quirky to the extraordinary to the not-so-pretty. But in the end, he declared that "I love you when you're an angel. And I love you when you're simply human."

    31 copy.jpg

    It really showed how well he knew me, and how much he truly loved me for me! And that's the part of his vows that got all the girls sobbing... (see arrows above)

    33 copy.jpg


    MB : Can you remember other parts of the wedding that were emotional/ memorable and how they made you feel?

    After dinner and dessert, it actually started to rain. At first, I was worried because our wedding was set up outdoors. The resort does have an alternate venue in case of inclement weather, but it would have meant interrupting the party to move the reggae band, the DJ's equipment, etc.

    Well, there was absolutely no need to worry because my crazy guests got up and started dancing in the rain!

    47 copy.jpg

    I know that wedding traditions like the bouquet and garter tosses are pretty cheesy. But we must run with a cheese-lovin' crowd because we all had so much fun with these events. One of my sisters actually caught the bouquet and did a little victory dance. Both Derek and our friend who caught the garter showed off their seductive crawling techniques as the rest of us howled with laughter.

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    Of course, who could forget about how our wedding ended up in the pool?!

    It started with the boys tossing the groom in! And then getting pushed in themselves... 

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    The boys were soon followed by the bridesmaids.

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    Eventually, the shallow end of the pool became our dance floor! The girls hiked up their dresses, the DJ kept pumping out the beats, and everyone danced with reckless abandon.

    53 copy.jpg


    MB : More about jumping in the pool: Did you ever imagine that you and all your guests would dive into a pool with all your clothes on? What did this spontaneous moment mean to you?

    Note: We actually ended up changing out of our wet formalwear and into our bathing suits.

    54 copy.jpg

    The dancing in the pool wasn't planned at all. The spontaneity of it was exhilarating. Derek and I had tons of fun dancing in the pool with each other and with our friends. Despite the chaos, it was actually very romantic! Afterall, the pool was under the stars and at the edge of a cliff with the Caribbean waves crashing on the other side.

    55 copy.jpg


    MB : Were there any interesting interactions/moments with your parents/family?

    One of my favorite moments was actually a very quiet one. Before the big day, my mom had patiently learned how to style my hair and we had a couple of practice sessions together. On the day of, we shared a sweet moment as she got me to relax while she styled my wedding updo with the utmost motherly care.

    07 copy.jpg

    Derek and I did not plan on having either a Father/daughter dance or a Mother/son dance because it seemed too formal and we didn't want to make our parents uncomfortable with everyone's eyes on them. But during the cocktail hour, there were some people already dancing to the reggae band and my dad pulled me onto the dance floor for a fun number.

    Impromtu MS and FD dances copy.jpg

    Later, after Derek got thrown into the pool, he jokingly approached his parents for a "hug" with his wet clothes on. They avoided the wet hugs, but Derek ended up convincing his mom to join him for a dance instead. So even though we didn't plan on having formal dances with our parents, we ended up having them spontaneously afterall!  


    MB : In what features of your wedding was the sky blue and mango orange décor incorporated? 

    colorscheme copy.jpg

    MB : What advice would you give to a bride planning a destination wedding?

    There is a wealth of information on the internet, including free resources and fun communities like Weddingbee.com!

    weddingbee copy.jpg

    There are no hard and fast rules for destination weddings. Just do what feels right, makes sense, and takes your guests into consideration.


    Well, the secret's out now. Our wedding totally degenerated into an episode of "Wedding Gone Wild." Classy, eh?

    I couldn't imagine a better way to kick off our marriage than with a fantastically fun celebration with our closest friends and family. Vacation + Vows = Wondrous Weekend

    25 copy.jpg

    IMG_8874 edited copy.jpg

    It's actually been a year and a half since our wedding. During the interviews with the magazine, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I could still remember that weekend so clearly. Or at least the moments that made me overwhelmed with unbridled joy.

    To be completely honest, most of the details that the article featured were things I had trouble remembering or things of very little importance to me. I had to dig into my files to find out what dishes we chose to serve and what specialty drinks they made at the bar. They devoted several lines to describing our wedding cake flavors and our floral arrangements, but I confessed to the interviewer that I didn't care much about these details and had mostly left them up to our coordinator.

    I can understand why the editor chose to feature those details. They are the most useful to other brides because they are the only things than can be replicated. But one unfortunate consequence of bridal magazines focusing so much on material items is that it gives brides-to-be a wedding-industrial complex.

    For me, the best details at our wedding weren't monogrammed or meticulously arranged. As cheesy as it sounds, the best details were truly the tears, the hugs, and the laughs that Derek and I shared with our loved ones.


Wednesday, April 30, 2008

  • 101 in 1001


    [ Originally posted on Feb 22, 2008. Last updated on June 10, 2008 ]

    The 1001 Day Project is "a unique meme that challenges and inspires you to set and complete realistic goals in your life."

    This seemed like a fun and worthwhile challenge to take on. And I do relish in that feeling you get when you cross off items on your To-Do List. ...So here we go!


    SHERRY'S 101 IN 1001

    Family and Friends

    1. Follow the basketball season with Derek
    2. Start skyping with my sisters again [ started and ongoing ]
    3. Throw a Rock Band party [ completed 2/17/08 ]
    4. Host a Game Night party
    5. Make new friends who are married [ ongoing ]
    6. Catch up with far-away friends [ completed 4/19/08 ]
    7. Blog on a weekly basis
    8. Visit my sister in Austin, Texas
    9. Learn how to give Derek a good massage
    10. Call my parents more often [ started and ongoing ]
    11. Finish reading the relationship books by Gottman
    12. Become a better listener

    Fun and Culture

    13. Improve my mandarin (to Intermediate level on Chinesepod)
    14. Enjoy a meal at Blue Hill Stone Barns
    15. Go on a fishing trip with friends
    16. Snowboard somewhere outside the NorthEast
    17. Take the cooking classes we were gifted [ group class on 4/27/08 ]
    18. Read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged
    19. Attend an opera
    20. Rehair my violin bow, buy a music stand, and buy sheet music
    21. Practice 4 challenging violin pieces
    22. Go to a pub trivia night
    23. Broadcast on [blog TV]
    24. Go on a rafting trip
    25. Travel to Amsterdam [ May 08 ] & India [ May & June 08 ]
    26. Travel to Asia again [ planning in progress ]
    27. Travel to a new continent
    28. Learn how to use a dSLR camera
    29. Participate in an Improv Everywhere mission
    30. Make my own Halloween costume
    31. Walk in the NYC Halloween parade
    32. Fly somewhere fun with my mileage credit [ booked! Negril in Nov 08 ]

    Fitness and Health

    33. Stop abusing my fingernails! [ Success since May 08! ]
    34. Buy a body fat scale [ completed 3/5/08 ]
    35. Reduce body fat by 3-4%
    36. Take 10 dance classes
    37. Carve comfortably on a blue slope [ completed 3/2/08 ]

    38. Learn how to play squash with Derek
    39. Take a self-defense class
    40. Drink a large cup of tea every morning [ so far, so good ]
    41. Eat vegetables regularly
    42. Floss my teeth regularly
    43. Get an eye checkup [ enrolled in Vision plan ]
    44. Visit the dentist for a checkup
    45. Buy rainboots [ completed 4/11/08 ]
    46. Stretch several times a week [ in progress ]
    47. Increase my flexibilty
    48. Get my teeth whitened
    49. Work out in the gym once a week
    50. Play tennis once a week (weather permitting)
    51. Improve my tennis serve

    Preparation and Career

    52. Take a patent law class [ Patent Law 4/29/08 ] [ Advanced Patent Law - Summer 08 ]
    53. Take accounting and finance classes [ Accounting 4/29/08 ] [ Financial Statement Analysis - Fall 08 ]
    54. Take a bio-industry class [ Drug Development May 08 ]
    55. Talk to and network with people in fields of interest [ MIT alumni networking - 2/08 ]
    56. Publish a first author paper
    57. Present a poster at a conference
    58. Present a research talk at the Student Retreat
    59. Work normal daytime hours at lab regularly
    60. Talk to PI about career aspirations
    61. Complete thesis and earn PhD
    62. Update my resume
    63. Land a great job
    64. Complete 10 Toastmaster speeches [ 3 of 10 ]
    65. Win a TM award for best speech [ completed 2/27/08 ]
    66. Start a Toastmasters club on campus
    67. Expand my professional wardrobe
    68. Follow the stock market and invest $1K

    Chores

    69. Swiffer regularly [ ongoing ]
    70. Donate clothes I don't wear [ completed 3/30/08 ]
    71. Dry clean Derek's shirts on a monthly basis
    72. Organize/ discard piles of mail & printouts [ completed 4/25/08 ]
    73. Stop magazine subscriptions, paper bills, and catalogs
    74. Back up the computer regularly [ completed and ongoing ]
    75. Renew driver's license
    76. Throw away expired medicine and makeup [ completed w/ D's help ]
    77. Get a joint bank brokerage account with my husband [ completed by Derek ]
    78. Organize my MP3s
    79. Discard old printer [ completed May 08 ]

    Meaningful Ventures

    80. Become more aware of international affairs [ in progress ]
    81. Volunteer locally [ 20.5 hours and ongoing ]
    82. Volunteer in a developing country
    83. Volunteer on the Africa Mercy
    84. Attend another BAUS camp
    85. Help Derek find a local church he likes
    86. Catch up with my favorite college professor
    87. Find a mentor in my future field
    88. Meditate without my mind wandering
    89. Overcome my fear of dogs
    90. Overcome my quarter-life crisis
    91. Have computer-free Friday nights for one month
    92. Buy a homeless person a meal
    93. Perform 10 random acts of kindness
    94. Start a new "101 in 1001" on day 1001

    Private

    95 - 101. [these goals are personal]



    Start:  Tues, Feb 12, 2008
    End:  Mon, Nov 8, 2010

    I chose to start my 101 in 1001 project on my 26th birthday.

    (Below: Derek and I celebrating my bday)

    IMG_0279 bday

    I was actually introduced to the 101 in 1001 challenge by photographer Jessica Claire's blog. Later, I learned that it was actually a big phenomenon that has spread throughout the blogosphere. It's been both fun and inspiring to read other bloggers' lists and see them getting closer and closer to accomplishing all their 101 goals.

    Start your own 101 in 1001 project! Be sure to let me know if you do, and we can cheer each other on.


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