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splathowa
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Name: Howard
Country: Australia
Gender: Male
Interests: Thats me looking like a tool up there.
Occupation: Professional Student
Industry: Commerce (Acct/Fins), Dentistr
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/5/2003
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| From All Men Are Liars 20/06/07http://blogs.smh.com.au/lifestyle/allmenareliars/archives/2007/06/a_cheater_on_cocaine.html
By a 12 yo girl named Pia
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Hate, love and in-between
I hate funerals, everyone crying, whimpering and sobbing, Kleenex and soggy hankies flying everywhere. I can hear the Frank Sinatra My Way music sailing in as my grandfather's coffin is carried by my older cousins and relatives.
"Regrets I have a few but then again, to few to mention," I hear the deep, strong-as-a-lion voice of Sinatra belting in my ear. It is like a big annoying fly I can't get it out of my head, that won't ever go away.
I'm certainly not going to cry. I'm not that sad. There are an obese amount of people here, relatives I don't even know, you'd think my grandad was Elvis Presley or something. I'm sitting next to my mother who's literally crying her eyes out. She's looking at me sideways like I'm some extra-terrestrial. She must think my blood is made from ice and that my heart is a hard, freezing icebox, refusing to make any emotion whatsoever.
"He was a wonderful grandfather, Dad, and a mighty man all round," sobs my cousin Ben. He looks like a wreck, his eyes like gushing waterfalls, full of fresh, raw and clear water.
I've got better things to think about. It's in the middle of the day and the sun is outside, sauntering through the windows, bringing life into the dark and disturbed room. You'd never know it, there's nothing shining in here mentally. I'm too ashamed to look at anyone in case they take offence or get embarrassed.
Everyone is dressed very formally; tailored suits and dresses, good shoes, make-up. Most of the outfits consist of black, navy blue and brown - the most depressing colours in the rainbow. My grandmother is dressed up the best I have ever seen her, wearing a matching skirt and vest with horrible, 80's style, so-over-and-done-with shoulder pads. I feel like telling her to get with the times and throw them in the bin.
Everyone puts roses, daisies and tulips on my grandfather's coffin, which is made of hard oak with a nice glossy sheen, the best money can buy. Beautiful flowers, daffodils, tulips, some bright and some pastel - colours that stand out on the shiny coffin lid. They look fresh and premature like the beautiful gift of life has just burst into them.
I feel a lot of emotions: awkwardness, confusion, wonder, sadness. I start to remember. He was a wonderful man; tall, beer gut, bandy legs and a croaky voice. He liked a beer or two, or three or four. He was a great bloke to have as a grandfather; he treated me like a goddess, but with restrictions too. He taught me right from wrong, how to say a few Russian words and when a tomato was ripe enough to pick.
I'm suddenly struck by the fact he's no longer around. How will life go without him? I talked to him everyday, sometimes about my innermost thoughts and I never had to explain anything. I feel like an arrogant, too-good-for-this, too-high-class, insensitive idiot for not crying. I'm overcome with feelings of goodness and joy; the world feels like it has stopped, paused for a few moments.
A slow, long, wet drip slips from my eye and runs down my cheek. It feels like ice on my warm face. How did I let this happen?
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Simply, wow. A bit over a year ago I went through a similar situation. This girl's writing expresses all I felt, all I wanted to say at that point in time, but couldn't, and didn't. I'm embarrassed that a 12 yo's writing and insight is far more eloquent than my own, but at the same time, I'm thoroughly impressed. A decade on top of this girl, and what do I have to show for it?
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| Quizzes| Human Paladin |
 
Humans tend to be the ones in the middle. Not as sexy as the Night Elves; not as stumpy as the dwarves or gnomes. As a human, you pretty much go with the flow of things.
As a paladin, you like to see that everyone is safe - including yourself. Still an important part of any group, if you get overshadowed, you can always refuse to give them your blessing.
| | Find out your real-life WoW race and class at QuizGalaxy.com |
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ahah lol... Splatty on FM anyone?
You fit in with:
Atheism
40% scientific.
60% reason-oriented.
|  | Your ideals mostly resemble those of an Atheist. You value objective proof over intuition or subjective thoughts. You enjoy talking about ideas and tend to have a lot of in depth conversations with people. | | Take This Quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
hmmm | | |
| Hum.Incidentally... considering moving blogs if I can be bothered anytime soon. Not that I blog much, but xanga is fugly.
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| Messed up sleep, and unwillingness to.Too much useless crap on my mind lately. Sick of too much unnecessary diplomacy. Annoyed at people who overreact and then hold grudges. It's the bloody principle. Gender preference bandying as gender equality bites big time. "She's a girl, you should apologise." Fuck that. Go ahead and keep ignoring. That goes both ways. Annoyed at offensive people trying to be non offensive. Stop hiding. High horse as real as a rocking horse. Get off it. Jerks.
Too much soppy crap. Damn movies. PDA's suck. Avoiding being third wheel where possible. Awkward. Weird situations also bad. Stop thinking rot. Wasn't any problem a short while ago. Don't want more problems than already have. Retard.
Too much revising and learning crap. Paper. Lots of it. Lots to go through. Lots to absorb. Lots to mull over. Lots to stress over. Far too much to contemplate. Banish anxiety. Stop procrastinating. Do the damn thing.
Too much awake time. Not enough sleep time. Not enough productivity. Too much caffeine. Not enough push to sleep. Not there again. Not fun. Not pretty. Bloody annoying. Vicious circle. Hate ruts.Happier now. Don't go back.
Word of the month: Ridiculous.
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| Fortians? Please don't give me that bullshit.Call me slow, but it seems to me that Fort St ppl don't give a shit about each other anymore, at least for the most part. Whenever there is something on, these ppl always manage to ditch last minute, and honest to god, I'm sick of it all. Waste of my time, and obviously a waste of theirs. So, as a result, I'm just not gonna bother trying to get ppl to go to anything and consequently, Fort St people are just gonna be low priority to me; don't really give a shit anymore. | | |
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