I always feel like Wednesdays are weird days. I don't know why. Something about the way they are nestled in the middle of the week makes me uncomfortable. What is this day even good for? I mean, I think I have some things I "need" to do and even a few things I want to do, but does that make this day worth something? Anything?

Its muggy in the office. Maybe thats why I'm feeling a little smothered.

Addie and I were talking yesterday about living and making choices and doing things that we do. She'll have to help me remember all that we said sometime, because she's addie, and she remembers everything. Wait! I got it now: we were talking about bad things, about sin. And we were talking about Shane's belief that people haven't gotten worse; that the depth and reality of our filth has always been. Then we were talking about how that is probably true, but with communication and technology letting us know everything the second it happens, it just feels worse.

Somehow that led me to think about our way of living. People live in constant self-preservation mode: we work hard to make money so that we can provide for our familes and live in a good place and be safe. We go to school and learn so that we can defend ourselves and prove that we are capable and deserve good things. We please and strive and cook and clean and go and do and meet and sweat and think and talk...all to make sure that WE are OK.

I don't know, that seems lame to me.

I guess the alternative is counter-cultural, which is always something I say I believe we should be, but find myself being so stinkin cultural it makes me wonder. Do I really even believe that? What would my (our) life (lives) look like if we weren't out to make things the best for ourselves everyday? What if we cared more about justice for the poor than whether or not we get to live in the suburbs one day? What if we took action each day to do something other?

Sometimes when I start thinking about all these things its hard to find a place to start.

Today I have to work. My job is ministry to others. Or it was back when there were students here. And now I have a season of planning and preparation to walk the journey with them again in the fall. How can I encourage them in these things? How can I demonstrate with my own life that I (we) are not the only ones that matter? How can I challenge them to live in such a way that equals more than the worlds standards of success and safety?

I better get started.

whenever i say anything about my job, thats the response i get from most people: "ah, student work."

for example, if i were to post here that i took communion last night with a sourdough bread/grape drink combo (fyi: ingredients of said grape drink are as follows: water, sugar, and purple) someone, inevitably would comment, "ah, student work."

and as weird as that experience was (did i say weird, i meant crunk), the evening was enjoyable. UC lives on and continues to be a meaningful worship time for students at howard payne. i've really evaluated and thought about UC and its purpose over the years....it was a large part of my own spiritual journey....thoughts?

so for now, i'm sitting in my office writing emails and filling out 900 forms to request money for future ministry plans just hoping a student will come interupt me soon!

AH, STUDENT WORK!

I have energy and enthusiasm coming out my ears today! I'm pumped.

Wonder what tomorrow holds...?