I don't know how, or even precisely when
but all of the sudden

I got it.

I haven't been more happier. & I'm thinking happier (or really trying to)

Plus, I've lost about 5 lbs
& I'm really really conscious of everything & trying not to ruin it

I have figured out that honestly, as much as "numbers" matter, they really don't
when I'm at a point where I'm happy with myself
& my clothes fit how I want them to
then I don't (in essence) care what the scale says.

I really don't know how all of this came about.
but I'm really enjoying it.
& really wanting & hoping & trying to make it last.

ugh. new chapters in life. gotta love 'em.

I really have nothing to say for myself.

except that I am thoroughly disgusted.

Is it really positive thinking/acceptance, or just denial?

EDIT:

reading old xanga entries really makes me see how depressing I am.

& how long have I been depressing?
since I started college.

Seeing webpage & webpage of struggle & frustration & depression & worry

Gosh no wonder I don't like myself & can't seem to break down these walls that keep me from achieving self-love



just something that made me think...