"You have to believe in yourself. And you have to down deep within the bottom of your soul, feel that you can do the job that you've set out to do"

Calories- 940, rounded to 950.

It's been a long, long time my beautiful girls. I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long, but am back for good now. So much has happened since I was readmitted into the eating disorder clinic, but am now back on track. I've missed you all so much, and please know that as soon as I get the chance, will comment everyone to check in!

My calories for the day are disgusting, I know. 40 over clinical starving, which pisses me off to the maximum. Is now my new goal to stay under 800 each day....yes, I think that's a good goal for right now, still a bit high, but okay for now.

Steve and I are offically broken up...which I am really happy about....He was constantly wanting to have every single bit of my attention, which I wasn't able to give him. Really, the only thing that I miss was the amazing sex (which really works off calories)....but that's all. I just couldn't settle with him...I think I deserve so much more than just great sex...definitely. I'll admit though that I do miss that intimate connection... I have a date on Friday with this guy who is in the military and is adorable, so I guess we will see where the leads me!

Well, I know it's been awhile since I've written last, but my Father was actually sent away on the mission. So much for prayer...but, I think I'm actually doing great. In fact, it's my plan to go back to Mass starting in August...hopefully by that time Louise will have set something up for me, but we'll see. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that everything comes together soon.

Well, I'm going to get going, but will write every night. It's so good to be back, I missed you girls so much! Much love, stay strong and safe. <3