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| Semester AchievementsCompletely up to date on the following:
Weeds
Lost
House
now in progress:
Heroes
I am surprised to find that if you do your homework first, you have a lot of other time to sit around and watch TV on the internet. which is my new favorite pasttime in lieu of actual social interaction. mine is a pathetic existence, but i'm pretty happy with it.
Just in case you didn't know, I am expecting a niece in June and another niece/nephew in September.
I learned three new crochet stitches to make blankets for these squirts. they better be darn adorable :)
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| I can't apologize for throwing myself into the future the way I do. I want only to live in this moment, where life is real. It may be a small existence, without a history or legacy, but it is real, for me, and that is what matters. I understand that it isn't quite right, to draw people into my nuclear world, only to move away from them without word or warning, taken up by something new. However, I know only how to look around and ahead, and the futures I see are so rarely true. Which leaves me standing lonely in my place, manipulating things within the perimeters of my influence, trying so hard to arrange everything else so that I can stay the same. Where will this bring me? Likely nowhere, as I go to extremes to avoid personal changes, thinking myself "...enough" good enough, strong enough, wise enough, happy enough.
Until I find my wings, until I can find the place where I belong, or create it up around me, I will continue in my own way, which is very isolating, and often hurtful, and yet the only way I have to go.
I am cold and calculating, self serving and undeserving.
I miss the past, yearn for the future. Long for changes and fear them, together in the same breath.
just another lost soul,
just another traveler
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| Acquired and read HP 7... not much to say about that. (Except that I will be tracking down a few friends for an "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" about parts of the storyline... ) Spent a long weekend at home during which I went to a few bars, watched Garden State, saw Please Please Please (funny that the first time I saw them was in KC rather than Kirksville...) Ran into some high school Scholar's Bowl chums, and then did a lot of sitting around waiting to come back. Oh. I got owned at MarioKart for SNES, which was shameful. and my opponent was drunk too. *sad* silent velcro... can you imagine? | | |
| so... lately work = life. however, that does not mean there is no fun to be had. yesterday I wasted 2 hours fighting with a copier only to find out that I was copying the wrong thing anyway, so i got to spend another 2 hours copying the right thing, which doesn't sound that bad, i know, but it was stressful because it had to be overnighted so i had to finish before the mailman got to the office. then, today, the copier committed suicide by eating its own belt, so Lorrie says, which was a pain in the ass, but i was happy on the inside because it meant a vacation from the daily battle the copier and I have. anyway. i know that's not interesting but it's what's going on. :P oh, yeah, probably should mention that I SAW HARRY POTTER 5 AND IT WAS INCREDIBLE and I'm going home next thursday because a certain little sister of mine canceled her trip to Kville yesterday so i didn't get to see her. I may also be going so i can grab my copy of the last HP from Barnes and Noble... (ulterior motive? nah) um Matchbox20 sings my soul to sleep and I dream of kittens, fish, and iguanas. dunno about that last bit. kind of bizarre even for me. "the more things seem to change, the more they stay the same, don't you think it's strange?" | | |
| A lot of strange things have happened lately. Normally I would feel a compulsive urge to talk about it, but right now I don't feel like I need to explain myself. yay for free will and all that jazz :) | | |
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