still_reprise's Xanga

Achtung Baby

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 00:36:59 GMT

So I started a new blog today:

http://stallout.blogspot.com/

I guess it's a major time of transition in my life and as good a time as any. Let me know what you think. Also, you can comment there even if you're not setup with a blogspot account.

I wanna, wanna, wanna...

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 13:56:17 GMT

"For all intents and purposes your adult self should never be consulted regarding vehicle purchases or breakfast cereal.

That is all."

Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione

How Should We Then Live?

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 11:09:18 GMT

"There is a flow to history and culture. This flow is rooted and has its wellspring in the thoughts of people. People are unique in the inner life of the mind-what they are in their thought world determines how they act. This is true of their value systems and it is true of their creativity. It is true of their corporate actions, such as political decisions, and it is true of their personal lives. The results of their thought world flow through their fingers or from their tongues into the external world. This is true of Michelangelo's chisel, and it is true of a dictator's sword.

People have presuppositions, and they will live more consistently on the basis of these presuppositions than even they themselves may realize. By presuppositions we mean the basic way an individual looks at life, his basic world view, the grid through which he sees the world. Presuppositions rest upon that which a person considers to be the truth of what exists. People's presuppositions lay a grid for all they bring forth into the external world."
-Francis A. Schaeffer How Should We Then Live?: The Rise and Decline of Western Thought and Culture

People like to think they have independence; that they have some sort of fine control on their own lives and decisions. Each us of has our own ideologies, our own system of beliefs that have a tremendous impact on how we live our day to day lives. We are heavily influenced by these internal set of rules and guidelines; they affect everything from how we treat others (do I help a stranger, hold open the door, let that insult pass without comment, rip into that clerk at the store) to what we create (art that honors God, building homes to help the helpless, paint vulgar images). It is that moment's hesitation before you make a decision sometimes and how you feel about that decision afterward. It is in that moments that follow the decision afterward that we can truly see what we believe. It is where the presuppositions really come to life.

Let me explain with a simple example: we see someone in need of aid and we do not stop to help. Afterward we feel no remorse. That speaks volumes about your worldview, your presuppositions. A true Christian for example has a fundamental belief that a person is created in the image of God and that we have a responsibility as our brothers' keeper. Therefore someone claiming to be a Christian in that situation and has that response does no truly have that presupposition. Perhaps they think they do but in reality they have a different worldview. Its in those small moments that when we step back and look at our lives we can learn what we truly believe.

Shaeffer is brilliant. He's a borderline prophet if you read his work. In the 60's he was predicting quite a bit of what we see in modern culture: animal life is valued more than human life (animal rights vs. abortion), that we would have a political party in the US that would align itself with Christians and ultimately use them (the Republican party, and mind you I generally align myself with Republican ideals), so on and so forth. He has so much to say on society and culture that is eerily accurate based upon a study of the past. I think I have to agree with Malcom Muggeridge the famed British newspaperman who said, "News is old things happening to new people." The degredation we see in our society today is not so different from what we saw in Greek and Roman culture and even further back. It just shows that general human nature hasn't progressed much regardless of what your modern humanist might argue.

In fact, the twentieth century has becomes the bloodiest century in history. More people have been killed because of idealogical differences and destroyed on the battlefields of geopolitical maneuvering, in the twentieth century than any other century in history. Some have caclulated that this past century has been bloodier than the previous nineteen centuries combined. Stalin, Hitler, Mao Zedong, atrocities in Africa, political strife in the US and eastern Europe, riots in France, bombings in London. My how we have risen above the primordial ooze and evolved into such advanced organisms. What is eerie about that is the man who predicted this was none other than the greatest modern spokesperson for atheism himself, Friedrich Neitzsche. So much for modern day progress since we have "outgrown" God.

Everyone loves Buc-ee's!

Gregory Gymnasium, UT Austin

No Dumping: Think of the fish

Looking up from the bottom of the tower, UT Austin

I Have Become Comfortably Numb

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 11:40:46 GMT

It's 9:32am. I've been up for a little over half an hour. The coffee I sip could be a bit stronger though it's plenty hot. Mentally I loosely plan out my day; then my week. There is so much to do it borders on overwhelming.

I'm twenty-five now (it doesn't seem so bad when you type it out, as if not using hard numbers softens it a little), engaged, trying to find a house before the "big day," and getting things sorted with work. As I ponder where I am in my life the sky outside is overcast (and soft, diffused light filters in through the skylight and windows), Roger Waters playing classic Pink Floyd comes warmly through the speakers and my coffee cup is nearly empty. It's all so melodramatic. I'm happy though.

I'm going back to my old store soon. My feelings are slightly mixed. I've learned so much and feel like I've been through the fire. Life was harder and I had to fight for everything. In a sense it will be a relief; back with old friends in a store that isn't insane and plagued with problems. On the other hand, it will lack that type of challenge. In the end I don't need the stress and will go further in the old store with the new lessons learned. I'm leaving behind a group of younger guys that I was over. That's really the part I'm most sad about. These are guys who have really come to trust me and open up to me. I've spoken with them about family issues, relationships and God; just last night one of them who knows almost nothing of financial matters came to me seeking advice on getting his finances in order and beginning to plan for retirement. They have been through so many leadership changes in the past year it seems like they are orphans going to a new foster home. I feel like I'm abandoning them.

Rocky

UT Austin

UT Austin, view from the clock tower to the capitol

UT Austin, the clock tower

50's T-Bird

Remnants of Thai

Learning in Wartime

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 16:43:19 GMT

"The war creates no absolutely new situation; it simply aggravates the permanent human situation so that we can no longer ignore it. Human life has always been lived on the edge of a precipice. Human culture has always had to exist under the shadow of something infinitely more important than itself. If men had postponed the search for knowledge and beauty until they were secure, the search would never have begun. We are mistaken when we compare war with 'normal life.' Life has never been normal. Even those periods which we think most tranquil, like the nineteenth century, turn out, on closer inspection, to be full of crises, alarms, difficulties, emergencies. Plausible reasons have never been lacking for putting off all merely cultural activities until some imminent danger has been averted or some crying injustice put right. But humanity long ago chose to neglect those plausible reasons. They wanted knowledge and beauty now, and would not wait for the suitable moment that never comes"

-C.S Lewis Learning in Wartime speaking to Cambridge University students during WWII

War creates no absolutely new situation; it simply aggravates the permanent human situation so that we can no longer ignore it. That statement leads to the question which Lewis immediately answers, "What is the permanent human situation?" He later goes on to answer further what is perhaps the more important question, "What is that shadow we exist under that is infinitely more important than ourselves?"

As great and wonderful and powerful as mankind is I think we may all agree that we are absolutely broken and most would agree there is nothing we can do to fix it. Do I mean that mankind is lost? That it is beyond any and all hope? Yes. And no.

In and of ourselves in the classic humanitarian view of things we are lost and beyond hope. Most would say, "I am not my brother's keeper. I am only responsible for myself." Not only do most of us refuse to take responsibility for anyone other than ourselves but even when we do take action there is only so much we can do being flawed and limited. Ultimately, we live in a broken world and we are a broken people.

Our only hope therefore lies in that ever present shadow of something infinitely more important than [ourselves]. He is the only perfect thing in the universe. More flawless than the purest diamond He knows all and can not only fix that which is broken but if He so choses He can even unbreak it. We get caught up in trivialities and calamities alike. As human beings we insist that once we get past this one thing we will turn to Him. At times we even ask why He didn't step in and radically change things when we did come to Him? He has His purposes. I end with another of Lewis' comments which are just a few pages beyond those which I quotes above:

"The best defence is a recognition that in this, as in everything else, the war has not really raised up a new enemy but only aggravated an old one. There are always plenty of rivals to our work. We are always falling in love or quarrelling, looking for jobs or fearing to lose them, getting ill and recovering, following public affairs. If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are unfavourable. Favourable conditions never come."

After all, aren't we all constantly at war? And just what is it that we are fighting for? Things spiritual or material or emotional?

As far as my personal life goes? I've been fighting sickness since Sunday, our server was down at work for a week causing untold chaos and my aunt is in the ICU and assuming all goes well will be home in ten days for two months of bedrest. All in all though I'm tired but happy.

Say It Ain't So

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 01:43:29 GMT

I must confess I'm writing this to you on a Macbook. I just had to get that off my chest. It's a toy I picked up in the last few weeks. It's quite different but I'm liking it. It almost feels dirty to say that. I'm getting a little sold on the idea of the Mac laptops but I'm still a PC guy with desktops through and through.

It's been busy. I'm doing the whole new job thing which is very different and a challenge but it's helping me grow. I'm doing some training right now and really enjoying myself. It's wonderful to get into a new environment and do some networking. I'm also getting some great ideas.

I've had a little more opportunity to take new photos. I've made it a point when I go out to try and take the photo gear with me just in case. It's convenient because I end up taking the Macbook too as my photo backpack has a notebook pouch. It makes me feel very prepared. I'll post a few of those shots below. On that note, I've picked up three small portrait gigs in the last two days. It's interesting because it's been some time since I've done a paid job. I did graduation portraits about six weeks ago and before that it had probably been six months and suddenly there is all this demand for me. Luckily they are small jobs or I wouldn't do them; I simply don't have the time for weddings and such anymore.

For you photographers out there has anyone checked out the new Nikon D3? Revolutionary. And I want one. Desperately. Full frame, 51 point AF system, ultra low noise (ISO 25,600 and no I didn't accidentally add in an extra zero), huge viewfinder, dual-CF slots, 3-inch VGA screen and ultra-pro body. So hot.

How is everyone else doing out there?

Carrot cake and a latte at Brasil's

Creeping ivy on the windows. I love it.

77mm lenscap for the 17-55mm f/2.8 AF-S and my first CF card slightly worse for wear

Me as taken from across the table

Hushed Under the South Wind

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 13:13:47 GMT

"Listen to this, Job; stop and consider God's wonders. Do you know how God controls the clouds and makes his lightning flash? Do you know how the clouds hang poised, those wonders of him who is perfect in knowledge? You who swelter in your clothes when the land lies hushed under the south wind, can you join him in spreading out the skies, hard as a mirror of cast bronze?"
Job 37:14-18

A quick update:

It's my day off and I'm lounging around in the world's most comfortable pants (Express for Men's X2 Chinos). The weather is decent (and I'll probably take photos late this afternoon), good music is playing, I'm finishing up the last few pages of Job, sipping French pressed coffee and contemplating making blueberry pancakes tonight. Yes, pancakes for dinner and blueberry nonetheless. That's how much of a rebel I am. In other words, things are good. How is everyone out there?

I've been thinking quite a bit lately. Dangerous work I know, but it must be done. Mostly I've been contemplating where I am in my life and what's going on these next few years. Hopefully by November I'll be in a house that I own and have put in applications to grad school. Also, I've been thinking about relationships in general, friendships and such. There are too many people I'm out of touch with that I'd rather be closer to. How does that work out?

Friday I went to the bank to make a deposit and upon leaving glanced at the bottom of my receipt and smiled.

Thank you, Jesus.

There Has to Be Another Level...

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 23:57:59 GMT

It's been an interesting time. It's rained for days; weeks actually. I briefly considered selling my truck for a canoe. Finally the rains mostly stopped and the ground has dried some. Life seems like that sometimes.

I've been thinking how I miss some of my friends. I rarely see them anymore and I stay so busy that one day I just realized that there were people I simply wanted to spend time with. The new job has been hectic but it's getting better as I learn the business. Wednesday I was rather upset about it though. I had put together a $250,000 bid for a customer that was going quite well and one of my suppliers came in behind us and stole the business. It absolutely blew my mind that they would do that.

I've actually been going out and doing some photos. Been watching a lot of movies. Been buying and listening to a lot of music. I'm in a fairly isolated phase. It's ok for the most part. Maybe some of you and I will hang out soon. That brings me to my next point:

How come everyone seems to be going to Europe and I am not. I miss it. If anyone wants to go to Europe let's go. Hah. Well, Monday I went out and took photos. It was an interesting time; I ended up in downtown Houston and met some interesting people. The first was a couple who asked if I would take their photo. The next was a man who was recently homeless named Will (I have a talent for meeting homeless people who share names with me) who I walked with briefly as he told his story and bought him a meal. The last was a young family consisting of a mother, father and child. The girl's name is Tristan. The couple is getting married sometimes next year at the Renaissance Festival in full dress and was interested in having me take photos. I don't do weddings anymore but I might make an exception in this case. The first four photos are from the previous week on a brief outing with Chris Jackson

Faded red against faded black

A weathered door; for some reason it makes me think Lord of the Rings

Chris himself shooting the exact same rig I am (Nikon D200, 17-55mm f/2.8 AF-S DX)

A tract on the ground the day after (and just minutes before) rain

The couple downtown

Bird.

Woman waiting at crosswalk

Cover

A man's things

Astro fence barring a site of new construction

Tristan

A New Job

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 14:21:27 GMT

I got the job. I start Monday. Turns out I'll be getting some Microsoft certifications as part of the new job and the company will be paying for them. That'll be nice on the resume not to mention I've always secretly wanted those certs.

And the weather has cleared up. It's fairly nice out and I have the day off. I think I might go create some new images this afternoon as a result which works out nicely because a few minutes ago my new 750GB drive showed up. You're impressed, are you not? I was within approximately 10GBs of filling up my hard drive which meant there weren't many more photos I could store on it. That problem has been remedied. I do believe sometime this evening I will be tearing the computer down and rebuilding it like the huge geek that I am.

I've also begun to tentatively study for my GMAT. It's something that I have been needing to do for some time but I have been procrastinating it. I figure that if I'm going to buy a house I need to grow up and get my masters. It'll be good for me, right? Build some character?

The shots below are from a blessing at a church I shot for a bride and groom. They asked me to come shoot this instead of bridals.

Prayer

The couple

Yes Lord

Intensity

Prayer circle

From the pulpit

The Holy Spirit

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 14:48:49 GMT

If the rain doesn't stop soon I will be investing in a canoe. At least today so far it's held off. I don't mind a little rain but two weeks worth is a bit much; at least I haven't had to water my plants.

I recently did some graduation portraits and have been very busy. On top of that I'm working on a promotion from work. I'm going in for the final interview in the next several hours. This may sound odd, but I've never been in a situation where the final interview was done by a woman so I don't know quite what to expect as that will be the case with this position. It will be twenty-five-plus minutes closer to home and involve a nice raise plus a much greater opportunity for advancement. I've already done the math and the proximity alone will save me $150+ a month in gas and over 200 minutes a week in drive time.

I also need to start work on my MBA. Bah.

In other news, I'll have the 4th of July off. That will be the first holiday that we're open that I've had off in three and a half years or since I started with the company. BBQ anyone?

And before I rush off to work here are some more photos that most of you have never seen before.

The outside seating area of Shade which is quite possibly my favorite restaurant of all time, here in the Heights and all of four minutes from my house

Blossoms taken in the spring

I love the blend of colors on this shot along with the mixed depth of field

Down the street from Shade on 19th; one of those trucks is for sale

The Heights Tribune on 19th

An Art Car that is semi-permanently parked in front of Venus hair; I'm convinced it's the owner's

I normally hate PT Cruisers and wouldn't be caught dead looking at one much less photographing one but it just seems to work here

Crazy junk/antique place on 19th that opens on occasion; I bought a sweet cast iron lion face to hang on the wall from here

Oh, dogs

The Houston Museum of Fine Arts/a self portrait