my seasonal term there ended today (sort of) so i'm without a job now. it's for the best, at least for now because of my joints swelling up. i can tell you that i'm not at all sad about leaving, though it was fun for a short time. certain people there just got on my nerves. i hate to talk bad about people but one guy there really grated my nerves (names i will not mention). but if you saw him, you'd know him. trust me. that's all i will say at this point.

but at any rate, i'm really just ready to get this rheumatologist thing on the road here and find out my treatment options before i go jumping into the workforce yet again. this time i really have to find something that works around my condition. justin suggested a receptionist's job or something where i'm not lifting a lot, or standing on my feet for hours at a time. i think that would help because i have never hurt this bad, even when i was working in retail last year. it tells me that something has been going on for a long time now. so i'll take off for about a month or so just to get this thing going with treatment and all and then i'll weigh my options. hopefully something good will turn up. 

Here's what all is wrong with it:

So I pretty much need a new car since it will take a fortune to fix everything. And this isn't even half of what is wrong with it. But hey, the battery works and the oil level is just fine. LOL. So at any rate, I'm heading to BG tomorrow to go look for a new car. I had my dad to help me look for one this week, and friday, I'll put a down payment on one, if I can. I refuse to go find one alone, to be honest. No offense, but I don't trust care salespeople. I don't even really know what to look for. Something cheap but will run, I guess. This is kind of depressing cause I really did love my pontiac. I got too attached to it. Anyway, I've got to go rest up for a bit.

The holiday season is about to begin. So it's time for people to max out their credit cards and drain their bank accounts on pointless material items to show how much they care lol. Sheesh, our society is crumbling. People act like morons, can't drive, and whine like spoiled little brats when a store is out of an item, fight if people grab the last thing on a shelf.  That about sums up my feelings about the holidays lol. Call me pessimistic if you must, but I'm not the only one that feels this way. I bet if you took a poll right now, more than half of the people in this country will say that the holidays just doesn't have any meaning these days. When people are stuck working Thanksgiving or on Christmas, then it's all about the Benjamins (with the exception of hospitals. Those places have to stay open no matter what). Family and friends just doesn't matter any longer. The message is supposed to be peace on earth and good will toward men, right? Doesn't seem like it. Materialism at its finest.

I remember back in the day that if you forgot any kind of food item for Thanksgiving dinner and needed it on that day, well, tough shit. The majority of grocery stores in town were were already closed. If anything remotely close to a grocery store was open, it was a gas station/convenience store. Now most grocery stores are open until at least 5 p.m. or later,and last year, I worked at a Meijer until 10 p.m. and ended up at my brother's at around midnight. How retarded is that? I couldn't even see everyone cause most of the family had already left. Well, at least Best Buy has the decency to be closed on that day and on Christmas so that employees can be with their friends and families. Meijer, Wal-Mart, Kroger, and others stay open until at least 8 pm or later. It just makes me sick. I find it very hypocritical for a store to say they are family-oriented, yet make their employees work on a holiday that is supposed to be about family gatherings, you know? Meijer and Wal-Mart preach this crap endlessly around the year. It's crazy. They don't give a shit about family, only how much money they can make. Plain and simple.

But at any rate, I just wanted/needed to rant briefly about this time of year. I really and truly just don't enjoy it like I used to. So let me just say that the shroud of the Dark Side has fallen. Begun the holiday wars have.

I saw my new doctor yesterday and she does agree with the other one with the Rheumatoid Arthritis diagnosis, so she is sending me to a rheumatologist at U of L. She said it might take awhile for me to be seen, but hey it's better than nothing. I asked how much it would cost, and she said it would cost no more than going to the clinic, which will be around $15 (No income, so I'm on slide 6, which is the lowest one). When she said this, I finally felt relieved that I'm finally going to receive treatment and hell it's practically free. I might even be able to get in on a clinical trial or something. Who knows. My only concern is Randall keeping his job in a month or so. I won't get into too much detail on that, but I do hope that we can keep living up here. If I go back to BG, then I won't get to see the Rheumatologist. I'd have to find the same thing down there, which would be a bitch. Hell, I'd probably end up seeing one up here anyway. I'm so glad there is a University hospital here, and one of the best in the nation.

Finally, I have an official diagnosis for what's been going on over the last few months, and I believe several few years. The doctor diagnosed me with Rheumatoid arthritis, hence, the swollen and stiff hands and other joints in my body, the extreme fatigue and just lethargy all the time. When I heard this, and btw, I didn't get it from the doctor, I got it from the nurse, I freaked. I almost didn't sleep for an entire week. They still suggest that I see a Rheumatologist but how the hell can I afford this now? I don't think I can even work full time with this condition until I get treatment. This sucks.

Oh btw, to anyone that couldn't stand me saying I was tired all the time, I had a pretty damn good reason over the last few years. Yes, I whine about it a lot. Big fucking deal. Get over it.

But anyway, I'm going to see if I can make an appointment with one this week, and it might not be in Louisville. Probably E-Town or somewhere close. I live too far from downtown to fuck with bullshit traffic.