Justin Timberlake-Never Again

Would have given up my life for you
Guess it's true what they say about love
It's blind
Girl, you lied straight to my face
Looking in my eyes
And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life
And all you had to do
Was apologize

You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me, again

No, no, no, no, no, no

Sadness has me at the end of the line
Helpless watched you break this heart of mine
And loneliness only wants you back here with me
Common sense knows that you're not good enough for me
And all you had to do
Was apologize, and mean it

But you didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me

Wish like hell I could go back in time
Maybe then I could see how
Forgiveness says that I should give you one more try
But it's too late, it's over now

You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me
Again

Again, yeah, yeah
Again, again, again, yeah, yeah, yeah
Never get to love me again

here is a poem i had hung in my room in taiwan.

Princess

"My precious daughter, please don't cry
it hurts me to see you so sad
So just curl up in my arms like the child you are
Be still, and let me be your dad.

You ask 'where is he? or is there someone for me?
but i wish you'd calm down and just trust Me!
its a surprise little girl!the ultimate plan!
Be patient, just wait and you'll see.

Even right now i'm preparing your prince
and when he's ready i'll let you know
but until then just draw close to Me
all i want is for you to grow...

Into a woman of character, purity, and strength
A woman who is rooted in love
And when the right time comes, and I promise it will
Then you can have this perfect gift from above.

You couldn't dream up what I've got in store for you
It'd make you laugh out loud at your plans.
But i'm sorry My child, it just wont' come
til you lay all your desires in My hands

You'll lose your life if you hang on too tight
so let go and then you will find
that if Im in control, things will be alright
So seek Me and leave your life behind.

I know its scary at first to die to yourself
and all those things you've been planning on
but trust me I've got an even better idea
you'll find him, it won't be that long.

Im taking my time so it'll be perfect
'Cause for you I wont have anything less
You forget, little one, that i am King
and that makes you My princess."

...it still brings tears to my eyes.
does anyone have to book " when dreams come true?"

nyeh.

all i have left is a conclusion to write for my damn essay and i still wont do it. heres a survey though.

100 things

Body: 100 Things You Didn't Know About Me:

1. Full Name: Jean Patricia Madden 

2. Nicknames: jeanie, jena

3. Birthday: sept 23

4. Place of Birth: leicester, United Kingdom

5. Zodiac Signs: libra/virgo....living life on the edge here! always have to buy 2 books.

6. Male or Female: female

8. School: UT

9. Occupation: student

10. Residence: Austin, tx

11. Screen Name: cowzillaz


__Your Appearance__

12. Hair Color: originally dark brown but it has been dark red and almost black before

13. Hair Length: medium/long

14. Eye color: hazel. not brown, but hazel.

15. Best Feature: i wanna say eyes but i think others think otherwise

16. Height: 5'5

17. Braces?: nope, ive got willy wonka teeth. incredibly straight.

18. Glasses?: contacts

19. Piercing: ears

20. Tattoos: none

21. Righty or Lefty: righty


___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: leah

23. First Award: some chinese dance thing in 2nd grade 

24. First Sport You Joined: chinese dance/then track

25. First pet: jonty our black doggie

26. First Real Vacation: oh damn...i dunno?

27. First Concert: a-mei

28. First Love: probably now


___ Favorites___

29. Movie: shreck 1&2, bridget jones diary 1&2, dead end, love actually, minority report

30. TV Show: sex and the city, nip tuck

31. Colors: green, black, gold

32. Rapper: they all sound the same to me...

33. Band: red hot chili peppers

34. Song Right Now: ying yang twins ft. pitbull-shake

35. best Friends: cassidy, mudpie girls, evan

36. Candy: sour patch kids!!!

37. Sport to Play: bball

38. Restaurant: kyoto, whole foods

39. Favorite brand to wear: not a brand girl. whatever looks good works for me.

40. Store: my style is to eclectic for a specific store

41. School Subject: portoflio. its a bitch but i enjoy it.

42. Animal: dogs, horses, cute fluffy things

43. Book: eleven minutes, 1984, angels and demons and the da vinci code

44. Magazine: cosmo, glamour

45. Shoes: ALL.


___Currently___
46. Feeling: like a slacker

47. Single or Taken?: taken. i suppose?

48. Have a crush: n/a

49. Eating: nothing

50. Drinking: water

51. Typing: this, my essay, and aim

52. Online?: always

53. Listening To: ying yang twins

54. Thinking About: tomorrow

55. Wanting to: finish the semester and go on vacation

56. Watching: nothing

57. Wearing: shorts, tank top

__________Future__________

58. Want Kids?: someday

59. Want to be Married?: one day

60. Careers in Mind: advertising guru, event planner, consulting

61. Where do you want to live: i want to come back to austin one day cuz i love the vibe but i want to live elsewhere during my career.

62. Car: hm...one of the nice ones if evan's car mags



__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair color: dark

64. Hair length: short and clean cut

65. Eye color: dark. blue eyes with dark hair freaks me out.

66. Measurements: 6'1 + please

67. Cute or Sexy: both

68. Lips or Eyes: eyes

69. Hugs or Kisses: both

70. Short or Tall: tall

71. Easygoing or serious: easygoing but knows how to be serious

72. Romantic or Spontaneous: spontaneous

73. Fatty or Skinny: bigger than me..but not fat bastard

74. Sensitive or Loud: sensitive but outgoing

75. Hook-up or Relationship: depends on the time..but right now relationship

76. sweet or Caring: !?

77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: safe.

___Have you ever___

78. Kissed a Stranger:

81. Ran Away From Home: yeah

82. Broken a bone: yeah

83. Got an X-ray: yeah

84. Been with someone: now

85. Broken Someones Heart: i think so.

86. Broke Up With Someone: kind of...i just stopped calling.

87. Cried When Someone Died: yeah

88. Cried At School: yeah

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: yes

90. Miracles: yes

91. Love At First sight: i want to

92. Ghosts: yes

93. Aliens:nope

94. Soul Mates: yes but it can be someone of the same sex

95. Heaven: yes. esp. when it comes out as a chocolate molten cake with a scoop of icrecream on top.

96. Hell:yeah, when the chocolate hits my hips.

97. Angels: yes

98. Kissing on The First Date: if it feels right

99. Horoscopes: i believe in fortune tellers but not the cosmo shit


___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have?: i guess i wonder more if i'll always have him.

aight, back to the essay.

so its been quite some time since i've updated and xanga has gone all spiffy and fancy on me! i feel like i found a 5 dollar bill in a pocket i had forgotten about! i figured i'd xanga this following entry in bullet format

• school has been really hectic lately. portfolio is kicking my butt and so is media. interpersonal communication with dr. daly is my only amusement this semester. i love that class.
• nip tuck is on right now and it is now my fav. show in the world.
• my birthday was awessssssome. evan took me out for dinner and made me pancakes in the morning. it was the best birthday i ever had!
• my birthday party, dress to get fucked was badass as well. i don't remember much about it...heh.
• evan and i are still together...but on break...so he can focus on school and stuff
• cassidy is performing midsummer's night dream on nov 11th
• joann and jc came to visit me
• so did my mom
• i miss evan.

10 firsts:
first boyfriend/girlfriend: gene tsai
first best friend: leah
first screen name: ashleycul8tr
first kiss: gene tsai
first piercings: ears
first crush: some boy named max
first stuffed animal: mimi a lil bear

9 lasts:
last cigarette: uhhh....i don't remember
last alchoholic beverage: this weekend
last kiss: just now
last movie seen: saw 2. DAMN.scarrrrry
last phone call: evan
last cd played: remixed
last bubble bath: too long to remember. i haven't been able to lay down in a bathtub in ages. i'd love to tho!
last time you cried: 10/21

8 have you evers:
have you ever dated one of your best friends: nope
have you ever skinny dipped: nope
have you ever been on tv:  yes
have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: nope
have you ever had a sex dream about someone you knew: yes
have you ever lost someone you loved: nope/almost
have you ever been depressed: yes
have you ever been in love: yes

7 places you've been to:
1. Sri Lanka
2. portugal
3. taiwan
4. spain
5. germany
6. china
7. england

6 things you've done today:
1. gone to class
2. gone to gym
3. cooked dinner
4. watched nip tuck
5. did my ads for tomorrow
6. went grocery shopping

5 favorite things in NO specific order:
1. evan
2. friends
3. facebook
4. food
5. having fun

4 people you can tell [almost] anything to:
1. ecan
2. cassidy
3. alex
4. joann

3 wishes:
1. to be happy
2. to be successful
3. to make someone happier than anyone else can

2 things you want to do before you die:
1.get married 
2.stay married
   
1 thing you regret:
1. not realizing what i had until i've hurt others.

dress to get fucked



cowgirl for halloween.

id upload more pictures but this new picture feature isn't as hope as i hoped.
enjoy!
jean