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| Back in The Boat
There is no Island now,tis but a dream,an illusion of what could have been happiness.
All this..for nothin,its still FUCKIN USELESS.Still never good enough
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| HAPPY WOOT WOOTING CHRISTMAS!!
I'm at my Grandads house for the W"festive holidays",went out for a chinese meal earlier an now back here,my eyelids weighed down under th weight of Jack Daniels.
I'm not really too bothered bout xmas this year.
I'm sad,I remember what I had this time last year,and no longer do thru fault of my own  .
I have new path infront of me,new ideas and targets,and my cat jus walked in the room to join me.
ALL IN ALL IT'S JUST A...NOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL! What a great version Korn did of that.
Hope you all enjoy tomoz and get what you want and are truly happy,I wish that I could give it all so the rest of the world could be in elysium,just for one day,but that will never happen.
Guten Tage
-Stuz- | | |
| Okay,I made a mistake,one I have never made before,and one I will be reluctant to make again.I now realize I have NEVER had to ask for someones number before,it has always worked its way onto my phone somehow or another.So when I ran after her on Saturday night,reasoning I would regret not asking and beat myself up all week for not doing so,I was destroying what I now realize is 1 of a lifetime of fundamental factors : Never ask for their number. Needless to say,in The Kingdom Of Stuzrol,by my ruling, the city watch have been ordered to shoot down on site any wannabe heroes and the words "Brave","Courageous" and "Heroic" are to be replaced with "Foolish Cunt!!"
I also had an insight from listening to the words of a friend,as to how there are,if you'll excuse me for saying so in such textbook ways,methods of approaching the opposite sex.There's everyone elses way,and there's my way. Neither way always works,but what I know realise is my way semi-succeeded. Where my friend was trying to offer me advice,I stuck with a lifetime of insecurities and successes,and when I was told I just missed my big chance,I proved those ideas wrong.But like I say,needless to say,it was for nothing when she is seeing someone else on/off and Im not full of myself enough to tell her she can forget him now I'm here. Shame,the highflying ideas of an uncontrollable mind come crashing down yet again like The Hindenburg,onto soft,familiar ground.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to publicly say R.I.P to Dimebag Darrell who as you may know was shot dead at point blank range with 4 shots to the head last week by some  DRUGGED UP MOTHERFUCKER blaming him for the split of Pantera.This is a first in that it is the first time the death of someone I never met has affected me and made me feel a sense of loss,this is more relevant to me than the death of Princess Diana or Queen Mum or the 9/11 incident.
Signing Out
-Stuz-
Get well soon Sarah | | |
| Bah
Bleh de bleh de bleh
BORED!
I HATE FUCKING SYNTHESIS!!
Is beauty truth?
Is truth beauty?
What the fuck is wrong with some people these days?! | | |
| I treasure these nights
Moments that dreams are built on
Since I have left you
Standing lonely
In a world without me
Leading a life I may never know
My breath has become heavy
Burdened under the weight of anxiety
My mind has explored openly
Discovered new colours and stored new times
I'm sorry I cannot love you like I should
I hate that you will not let me
I'm sorry I cannot give you my all
And still have strength of my own
I hate that there is nothing to fall back on
Normality and sanity yawn inot the night
As my senses are submerged into chaos
As the eyes of my self control gaze over
So many thoughts I must contain
So many words I cannot say
So much I wish to do
But appreciate the consequences of doing so
My preferred reality runs circles around me
Only in the corners do I discover it is not real
It is but a chimera
Though I wish it was a road
Paved before me by fate
Can I truly capture this moment without using that meaningless word
That in our current age has become a cover for insecurity
As time passes the world around me fades to black
I pray that when I sleep I lay these feelings to rest,
For otherwise tomorrow I could awake
And they would be overshadowed by what they have become
Ruining an age of hard work
Necessary to forgive myself for my past lessons
You say your mind is a room,empty to the outside world
But I say it is an undiscovered rainforest
Filled with paths I must explore and life I must discover
A gaze at your eyes
A sense of your smile
A simple touch of you
And the decaying winter inside me comes into bloom
Yes,I treasure these times
Moments that lay the foundation
For my dreams to build their life upon
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