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Wednesday, July 16, 2008
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Currently Listening
V Is for Vagina
By Puscifer
Rev 22:20
see related#64
rev 22:20
Don't be aroused by my confession
Unless you don't give a good god damn about redemption
I know Christ is cumming
And so am I
You would too if this sexy devil caught your eye
She'll suck you dry
And still you'll cry to be back in her bosom
To do it again
She'll make you weep
Then moan and cry to be back in her bosom
To do it again
Pray til I go blind
Pray cause nobody ever survives
Praying to stay in her arms
Just until I can die a little longer
Saviors and saints
Devils and heathens alike
She'll eat you alive
Jesus is risen
It's no surprise
Even he would martyr his momma
To ride to hell between those thighs
The pressure is building
On the base of my spine
If I gotta sin to see her again
Then I'm gonna lie, lie, lie
She'll make you cry
I'll sell my soul to be back in your bosom
Gladly now
Please suck me dry
And still you'll cry to be back in her bosom
To do it again
Pray til I go blind
Pray cause nobody ever survives
Praying to stay in her arms
Just until I can die a little longer
Saviors and saints
Devils and heathens alike
She'll eat you alive
My pulse has been rising
My temple is pounding
The pressure is so overwhelming and building
So steady, now Freddy
I'm ready to blow
What is she waiting for?
Monday, July 14, 2008
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Currently Listening
Swan Songs
By Hollywood Undead
Dead In Ditches
see related#63
a nice day for a white wedding
I read The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. I liked it. But I dont know why. Maybe it was the fact that I could relate to pretty much everything in it, as well as picture each character really clearly. Whatever.
I also have seen Across the Universe 3 times since I rented it 2 days ago. I actually really like all the songs in it, though I pretty much discarded The Beatles once I turned 11. And its all trippy so thats good too.
Alsoooo I made a new friend yesterday. Rydell. Hes one of Lestat's friends from Lewiston. Hes like this awesome pirate stoner guy who gives highfives a lot. Yesterday I went to Handys with Emily, Blaine, Kelley, Evan, Lexi and Becca. In the park we met up with Lestat, Rydell and Mikayla who were having an orgy or something on the rocks beside the river. They came to McDonalds with us, where we met Kaytlin and Ariel, then we went to Hannaford, then to the Shipyard playground. Evan was on acid, Rydell and Lestat were high, and Mikayla was just all slutty and crackwhore-y, so it was awesome and entertaining. We went on the pinball balancey thing... 6 of us, and we were having a hard time all staying on it, but it was hialrious. Then Rydell, me and Becca went on the tire swing and thought we were gonna die and it was also hilarious. Thennnn we played 10 fingers with everyone else, but it was kinda redundant since Ive played that game so many times with the same people that its not news anymore. I know everyone's sex stories by now, and they know mine. The only things I dont know were Rydell and Mikayla's. But now I do. So, woo. Then Rydell took acid. Andddd me and Becca had to leave.
Ive officially downloaded over 500 songs onto my computer. I was intending to listen to them, but got carried away in the downloading and now I just have this intimidating folder on my computer of songs that I reallyyyyy dont feel like going through. Awesome.
I dont have much to say.
i left a trail from hollywood to hell
becca being all bored and grumpy
on the way to the playground. haha, ariel
EVANNNNN! "oh fetus. fetus christ."
lestat. & his intense JAWLINE
oh you know. lestat airgroping mikaylas ass. yep
becca: "RAWR"
ariel has a flower. rydell has a mikayla.
ariel has a rydell hat. :)
ahahahahaha rydell! he looks so sad and stoned and LOLworthy
evan being all acid-y
failing at the playground
haha.
loveeee ariel
me. big sunglasses. rydells hat. yep
Saturday, July 12, 2008
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Currently Listening
Beyond the Valley of the Murderdolls
By Murderdolls
Die My Bride
see related#62
there's nothing pure in this world
I havent written anything in almost a week. So thats weird. Alright so nothing really happened. Wait yeah it did. Thursday I hung out with Tim for a good 5 hours. Oo la la, I know. Shit went down. But I wont go into details on here. Funny how I promised Tim multiple times I wouldnt tell anyone what happened while it was just us there (his friends Cam & Tyler showed up after about an hour) but no sooner had I gotten home than I called Lexi and Becca and was like STORYYYY TIMEEEEEEEEE... Lets say that they both threatened to hit me. But apparently they love me too much, or just knew I was going to do what I want, no matter what they did to me afterwards. Ahah, wow. Im so good with secrets. I should be in the FBI or something. Heh, I guess I just didnt see any reason not to tell my 2 best friends. Tim was like "yur friends hate me, theyll beat me upppp wahhhhhh" or something which is stupid caz I strongly doubt either of them know how to fight. Ughhhhh Im just babbling. While I was there, Cam kinda awkwardly let slip that theres a new girl definitely on Tims radar (ha) and that kinda dampened my mood a bit. And at some point I got really tired of Tyler being immature and shit and I just wanted a moment so I kinda disappeared into the house. Offfff course, Tim followed me though and I was like "Im just fixing my eyeliner, you didnt have to follow me." But obviously I was glad he did. He was like "are you having fun, do you like hanging out with them, are you ok, are you ok are you ok blaaaaaaaaah" without that charming last part. I was just like yeah Im fine and its all good. Im babbling and it feels stupid. I wish I could just go detail by detail, but thatd make me feel a bit sketchy. And like Id broken my promise to Tim even more, hah. But he should have known Id at least tell Becca and Lexi.
Long story short, I did have an amazing time with Tim and I tried to make the most of it. But Cam and Tyler being there kinda made it a bit weird. And I just felt so uncomfortable around Tim too. Like, he'd hug me or kiss me or something and for a second Id just be like "whaaaaaats happening, why is he doing this" before eventually just going along with it. But it was still weird. I wish i wasnt so fucking awkward.
If these past months are anything to go on, Thursday will have been my last time seeing Tim for a long time. Especially if he starts dating this Addie chick. Whom I dislike already. I know nothing about her except she and Tim went to the movies Wednesday or something. Whatever. I hope shes even worse than Gabby. Sorry Tim, I cant help it. I just fucking miss you. And I also miss you in advance for the coming months where we probably wont see each other at all and will just continue to grow apart. Ugh.
Speaking of blasts from the past. Going back through my iPod today, I rediscovered my three favorite bands (Marilyn Manson, Cradle of Filth, and Murderdolls). Why Ive been so lax about listening to them lately, I dont know. So much fucking hardcore/grind music, Id almost forgotten about the real loves of my life. I also was really happy to hear shit like Dimmu Borgir, Queens of the Stone Age, Finntroll, and Dissection again. "Little Sister" was THE song that turned me on to legit rock music. And I was really into black metal/symphonic metal for months and months, i think last summer and for the half of freshman year... before I met Tim. Thats when the hardcore/grind thing started really. Not saying thtas a bad thing. Im just a bit disgusted with myself that I could discard Manson or Cradle or all that other great music.
Ive been sleeping in my brother's room since he left. Not caz I miss him. I dont. His bed is just more comfortable, and his room has one more window than mine so its cooler. But I want my room back. I miss my solid wall of album artwork, my huge Manson poster from Norway, my random wall behind the bed, the purpleeeeeeness. Hah. And I have an extreme craving for Lest We Forget, Midian, Beyond the Valley of the Murderdolls, and maybe even that Emperor cd i own whose title is escaping me at the moment.
Oh shit. Ohhhhh shit. "Die My Bride" is calling me.
Well I’d rather cut you up than the wedding cake
And your bloody guts on my rented tux
And I do, I do, I do wanna kill you
Til death do us part, I’ll tear us apart
Now I kiss your cold dead lips
And I dip my chips in the blood that drips
And I smear the cake right in your face
Let your God take you to a better place
Well I loved you to death
I loved you to death
Die, die, die
Die my bride
And all you ever meant to me
Was absolutely nothing
And with this ring now I thee wed
Don’t wanna kiss you bitch, wanna bash your head
Saturday, July 05, 2008
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Currently Listening
Mechanical Animals
By Marilyn Manson
Posthuman, Coma White
see related#61
posthuman
(Originally written by me in a notebook around 1am, July 5th and copied to this blog)
I couldn't sleep. Too much caffeine, I guess. So after sitting here listlessly for a good quarter of an hour, I sat up to stare out my window at the sky, straining my eyes to make out details. There isn't much to see. The sky is navy blue, but there are no stars to make it remarkable. The trees are kind of nice; the tops of them, that is. Eventually they all just blend together into one big, dark mass. And the ground below? A myth. I could just as well be in a skyscraper or something, for all I can see of the ground out this window. Only I know I'm not in a skyscraper or something. I'm in my bedroom; my tiny purple bedroom with its wallpaper of faces I'll never meet, its sloped ceiling, and its wood floors that are so cold and hard without any kind of footwear. The window I sit beside isn't big, and spider webs decorate the corners. This room is inside a tiny house on Anderson Ave in Yarmouth in Maine, and I'd rather be anywhere else. There's a cold breeze blowing in from outside, making it hard to believe it was 80 degrees just a few hours ago. When I got out this notebook tonight, I was inspired. Just that; inspired. I wanted to write something that I could be proud of. Something deep but not cheesy. Something relatable but not cliche. Something, well... inspiring? But the longer I sat here by the window, the faster that inspiration left. I guess I lost interest completely. Or maybe I was just never meant to inspire anyone. And maybe that's exactly my problem. One of the James Bond movies I used to love taught me the quote "there's no point in living if you don't feel alive." I couldn't agree more, actually. I suppose we all have our own interpretations of what exactly it is to feel alive. But all I know is, I haven't felt anything of the sort for quite some time. So long, in fact, I can't remember a time when I admittedly felt "alive." People seem to like asking the question "who do you think you are?" and if I were to answer that, I'd probably respond with "a machine." Because when it comes down to it, I'm not so much alive as I am mechanical. More routine than spontaneous. More a combined result of everyone I know than anything unique. More generic and boring than inspiring. We all want to find purpose. We all want to find passion and love and somewhere to belong and all that shit. But wouldn't you get a bit discouraged too after being told repeatedly that the only thing you're good for is "looking pretty?" The backhanded compliment of the century. Is this what I've become? So blatantly boring and stupid that I'll never be more to anyone than just a pretty face? This sure as hell doesn't feel like living, and apparently there's no point in living if you don't feel alive, right? So I ask myself, time and time again, what the hell am I still doing here? Maybe my warranty is up. Maybe I've taken up space on this planet for long enough. Maybe its time to leave as quickly as that inspiration left me not more than twenty minutes ago. Maybe it's time for the world to be rid of one more worthless machine and make room for the people who have something to say; something to invent; something that will contribute positively in some way more than I ever will. You heard Lestat; I'm a pretty face and an empty brain. Books and honors classes can't help me now. The intelligence and depth of thought I want so badly are as unattainable as the stars tonight... because there aren't any stars tonight. There's nothing out there in the sky, just like there's nothing out there for me. Never have I felt lonelier. I guess that's just another of my mistakes too. My standards are set ridiculously high, so I end up pushing everyone and everything else away that falls short. If only I were just inhuman enough to not possess emotions. Then I'd truly be mechanical, instead of being stranded in a discouraging kind of limbo. Programmed, predictable, and always striving for the intangible state of perfection I know in the back of my "mind" I'll never really reach. Just another empty shell with a heartbeat. The sad thing is, I couldn't even write this without basing it heavily on Marilyn Manson's Mechanical Animals concept- which I memorized last year from the Nachtkabarett. Typical. What can I say, though? All I am is an imitation. "A hundred generations removed from anything original." The fact that I know what I am and wish so hard to be otherwise makes the situation all the more hopeless. I guess in the end, though, I never really qualified as human anyway. This should be my Omega.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
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Currently Listening
Peeping Tom
By Peeping Tom
Mojo
see related#60
haunting rhymes keeping the time
With Becca, Lestat, Kaytlin, David, Emily, Kelley and Augden for the day. Also saw Boothy for a few minutes. Augden's amazing, he's like an older, fatter Lestat. And since one Lestat is quiteeee the party, imagine what its like with 2 of them. Yeah eventually everyone but me, Becca and David left to go to Lestat ("DJ Maelstrom")'s rave in Old Orchard Beach tonight. I wanted to go but that woulda been too hard to work out so damn. The 3 of us went to Dunkin Donuts and I got screwed caz my mom showed up there randomly and uhhh Im not supposed to be anywhere near Bernardo so yeah she was pissed.
I had the worst dream[s] last night. First, I dreamed my school got shot up and right at the end the son of a bitch shot me in the neck. I died obvs. I woke up crying and was really paranoid, especially caz I woke up with my neck hurting right where Id gotten shot in the dream. I realized it was only 730 am and I was still really tired so I went back to sleep. Badddd idea, caz I had another freaky dream, this time where my brother was trying to kill my dad and me. At least I woke up before I died again. I moved to my parents bed (they were both at work by now) and fell asleep again, caz it was like 10 and Im rarely up til at least 1130. Third dream was pretty much an extension of the second dream. Ughhh. I never dream. Now I do, three memorable times in the same day, and all the dreams are way morbid and freaky. Not funnnn. Mmmooooottttthhhheeerrrrrrffffuuuucccccckkkkeeeerrrrr.
Now roll it up and smoke it again
It's bottoms up and drink it again
Now fix it up and shoot it again
I can't believe I did it again
sugarcoatedknockout
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- Name: elizabeth
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 2/7/2008
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the blog titles, full songs, and excerpts in different colors were not written by me. theyre alllll just music i like. dont think for a second that im talented enough to have come up with anything you'll see in this blog, except for the entries themselves of course. and theyre nothing to be proud of.
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