| believe it or not I'm still alive.
1. My dick is so big, it only tips with hundreds.
2. My dick is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it.
3. My dick is so big, the city was going to build a statue of it but they ran out of cement.
4. My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it.
5. My dick is so big, when I get hard my ey brows get pulled down to my neck.
6. My dick is so big, you're standing on it.
7. My dick is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it.
8. My dick is so big, it plays golf with the president
9. My dick is so big, it charges money for its autograph.
10. My dick is so big, it has an agent. My dick's people will call your people. Let's have lunch with my dick.
11. My dick is so big, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow.
12. My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.
13. My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.14. My dick is so big, it lives next door.
15. My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third 16. My dick is so big, it votes.
17. My dick is a better dresser than I am.
18. My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal.
19. My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.
20. My dick is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run.
21. My dick runs the 440 in fifteen seconds.
22. My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.
23. No matter where I go, my dick always gets there first.
24. My dick takes longer lunches than I do.
25. My dick contributed $50,000 to the Democratic National Committee.
26. My dick was once the ambassador to China.
27. My dick is so big, it's gone condo.
28. My dick hit 370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.
29. My dick was almost drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but Art Modell didn't want a bigger dick than he was on the team.
30. My dick is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler.
3 I. It's so big, when it rains the head of my dick doesn't get wet.
32. My dick is so big, I could wear it as a tie if I' wasn't so afraid of getting a hard-on and killing my- sel£
33. My dick is so big, I have to use an elastic zipper.
34. My dick is so big, it has feet.
35. My dick is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it.
36. My dick is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me oft:
37. My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.
38. My dick is so big, they use the bullet train to test my condoms.
39. My dick is so big, it has investors.
40. My dick is so big, it seats six.
41. My dick is so big, I use a hula hoop as a cock ring. 42. My dick is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole.
43. My dick is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.
44. My dick is so big, it has an opening act.
45. My dick is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft.
46. My dick is so big, it has its own Wheaties box.
47. My dick is so big, I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings.
48. My dick is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through.
49. My dick is so big, every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse.
50. My dick is so big, it only plays arenas.
51. If you cut my dick in two, you can tell how old I am.
52. My dick was once set on fire for a Dino DiLaurentis movie.
53. My dick is so big, it needs an airplane warning light.
54. My dick is so big, Trump owns it.
55. My dick is so big that we're all a part of it, and it's all a part of us.
56. My dick is so big, I can never sit in the front row.
57. My dick is so big, it has its own dick. And even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.
58. My dick is so big, you can't blow me without a ladder.
59. My dick is so big, it only does one show a night.
60. My dick is so big, you can ski down it.
61. My dick is so big, it has an elbow.
62. My dick is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly.
63. My dick is so big, it has a personal trainer.
64. My dick is so big, that right now it's in the other room fixing us drinks.
65. My dick is so big, it has a retractable dome.
66. My dick is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.
67. My dick is so big there's a sneaker named "Air My Dick."
68. My dick is so big, I'm its bitch.
69. My dick is so big, it's against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.
70. My dick is so big, I could fuck a tuba.
71. My dick is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.
72. My dick is so big, it has its own gravity.
73. NASA once launched a space probe to search for the tip of my dick.
74. My dick is so big, it's impossible to see all of it without a satellite.
75. The inside of my dick contains billions and billions of stars.
76. My dick is so big, it has a spine.
77. My dick is so big, it has a basement.
78. My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.
79. My dick is more muscular than I am.
80. My dick is S9 big it has cable.
81. My dick is so big, it violates seventeen zoning laws.
82. My dick is so big, it has its own page in the Sierra Club calendar.
83. My dick is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.
84. My dick is so big, I was once in Ohio and got a blow job in Tennessee.
85. My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into t town for free.
86. My dick is so big, I can braid it.
87. My dick is so big, that when it's Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it's Central Mountain Time at my balls.
88. My dick is so big, I painted the foreskin red, l white, and blue and used it as a flag.
89. My dick is so big, I can sit on it.
90. My dick is so big, it can chew gum.
91. My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the " summertime.
92. My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand there and argue with the doorman.
93. My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.
94. My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls.
95. My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school.
96. My dick has an elevator and a lobby.
97. My dick has better credit than I do.
98. My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.
99. My dick is so big, it was once overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.
100. My dick is so big it has casters. (oh hell yeah!!)
WARNING: Some people (i.e. those of you with a sense of humour) may be offended by the following. And there are some in-jokes too. Oh well.
The Thins Penis: Cos it's not as thick as some
The Magnum Penis: Can you remember your first one?
The Nicole Kidman Penis: To Die For
The Minties Penis: It's moments like these you need...
The Wrigley's Extra Penis: Flavour that lasts and lasts
The Canon Penis: Now you can
The St George Penis: You know where you stand
The Saab Penis: Beyond the conventional
The Sorbent Penis: Thicker and softer
The digital Penis: Whatever it takes
The Hyundai Penis: All day every day
The Peugot Penis: Engineered to be enjoyed
The Pantene Penis: It won't happen overnight, but it will happen.
The M&M Penis: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand
The Flake Penis: It crumbles and melts in your mouth
The Hungry Jack's Penis: Ooh I love a whopper
OR Gotta have that flame-grilled beef...
The Olympic Penis: ...and the winner is...
The Twisties Penis: Life's never straight without...
The CC's Penis: Can't say no...
The Just Juice Penis: Just squeeze.
The Woolworths Penis: The fresh food penis.
The Tribble Penis: Everyone wants one.
The Yellow Pages Penis: Let your penis do the walking.
The Sprite Penis: Obey your thirst.
The Hobbit Penis: There and back again.
The Hugh Grant penis: It's just Devine!
The Tolkein penis: Lord of the Rings
The VB Penis: Cos a hard earned thirst needs a big cold...
The Terminator Penis: This time it's personal.
The Space Balls Penis: I see that your schwartz is as big as mine
The Star Wars Penis: Feel the force.
The Raine and Horne Penis: We'll come to you!
The L J Hooker Penis: Nobody does it better.
The Ten Capital News Penis: More people turn us on.
The Toyota Penis: Oh what a feeling
The Mitsubishi Penis: Prease Consider
The BMW Penis: Sheer driving pleasure
The Macintosh Penis: "The power to be your best"
The Optus Penis: "yes"
The Forrest Gump Penis: You never know what you're gonna get.
The Steve Erkel Penis: Did i do that?
The Pizza Hut Penis: Available in both thick and thin.
The Macintosh Penis: All the internal workings are kept hidden. Just click.
The Linux Penis: Always upgradable.
The Pentuim Penis: It gives a different result every time.
The CD Penis: Looks pretty in sunlight.
The Transformer Penis: More than meets the eye
The Madam Penis: Won't stay on at parties.
The Kryten Penis: Multi-functional groinal socket...
The (circumsised) KFC penis: spicy & skin free...
The Nemo Penis: Lots of hair....
The Blitzen Penis: It keeps going up and down...
The Rudolf Penis: With a glowing red end.
The Lucs Penis. You don't have to suck. It does it for you.
The ISCA Penis: m or f?
The Spinnaker Penis: Always down when you need it.
The Coke Penis: Always the real thing.
The Far Side Penis: Do you need a reason? :)
The Snickers Penis: Always satisfies.
The Microsoft Penis: Who do you want to blow today?
The Raid Penis: Kills bugs dead.
The Excedrin Penis: It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.
The Life Call Penis: It's fallen and it can't get up.
The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it.
The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...?
The Kix Penis: Kid tested, mother approved.
The Nintendo Penis: Now you're playing with power.
The Ruffles Penis: Bet you can't eat just one.
The Roll-Ups Penis: Some kids like their fruit real flat.
The NRMA Penis: For H-E-L-P.
The Libra Penis: Now with wings
The Gilette Penis: The Best a man can get.
The Daewoo Penis: There's nothing you can't do...
The Birch Carroll and Coyle/Hoyts Penis: You want it? You got it!
The BHP Penis: The big Australian
The Lipton's Penis: Everybody's jiggling...
The Adobe Penis: It's everything you imagine.
The Texas Instruments Penis: Extending your reach.
The Hoyts Penis: You can make it BIG in the movies.
The Pioneer Penis: The art of entertainment.
The Advanced Hair Studios Penis: Yeah, Yeah
The Critters II Penis: They'll get you in the end.
The Microsof Penis: Where does it want to go today ??
The VISA Penis: It's everywhere you want to be.
The Snappy Tom Penis: The cats of Australia have made thier choice
The Colgate penis: It really DOES get in.
The MacPenis: mmMmmmMMmm it's Mac time
The Hungry Jack's Penis: have it your way!
Red Rooster Penis: Are you red-red-ready?
The Praise Penis: Nothing tastes creamier!
The RAAF Penis: Reach for the sky!
The Schwarzenegger Penis: It'll be back
The ARL (Australian Rugby League) Penis: Simply the best
The Cheap Hollywood Penis: Free Willy
The Julius Caesar Penis: Vidi, vici, veni. (I saw, I conquered, I came)
The Doors Plus Penis: We fit, stain, and deliver.
The HitchHiker's Penis: Don't panic!
The Fly Buys Penis: The more you buy, the more you...
The Smoo Penis: Always lookin' good
The Madam Penis2: Who needs jeans?
The Napisan Penis: Whiter than white... Can you take the Napisan challenge?
The Private Bin Penis: Go hard or go home!
The Energizer Penis: Just keeps going and going and going
The Domino's Pizza Penis: Fresh and hot and always great!
or: I've got the hots for what's in the box with the dots...
The Pizza Hut Penis: Comes in 30 minutes or it's free
The Transformers Penis: More than meets the eye!
The Ewok Penis: Furry but loveable
The Jean Luc Picard Penis: .....Engage!
The Monty Python Penis: And now for something completely different!
The Queensland Penis: Beautiful one day, perfect the next!
The Star Trek Penis: To boldly go where no one has gone before
The CSR White Sugar Penis: Australia's finest... 100% natural.
The Cadbury's Penis: A glass and a half of full cream...
The Kraft Singles Penis: 900mL in every one...
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