Thank you so much indeed, for it is you who made this year's birthday of mine so dear to me. :)

Wednesday, September 12, 2007       2:30 am

Finally the day arrived, though not so much as expected. To me my birthday this year no longer means a milestone of my growth or anything worth celebrating, but rather, as you suggested, an excuse for friends to come together and have fun. As a matter of fact, you did not make my birthday resemble a birthday, but much more than what a birthday is meant for. It is my mother's pregnancy eighteen years ago that provide evidence for my birthday, while you leave a trail of my being at this moment of time as if putting a bookmark upon the brightest page of my diary. I will never forget reading a heart-warming message that tells me what it is, truly, to be on top of the world as my eyes follow the flow of words and discover the promise of year-long, if not everlasting, happiness; nor will I forget begging the teacher for an early leave from school, rushing all the way towards the MTR station and sinking myself on the cinema chair with you right next to me.  

The film ended two hours before my tutorial would commence, leaving me nowhere to go, nothing to do, but knowing I would be alright because we were together. You asked me to wait at the entrance of the MTR station, walked away and returned with a black forest cake so elaborately decorated but messed up by the shop-assistant. It was the one and only birthday cake I've ever received from a friend and it was very much tailor-made ~ on the periphery of the cake were flakes of chocolates with musical notes embedded on them, on top were cone-shaped ice-cream and the inside was filled with cream.

I couldn't help eating until it hurt, one mouthful at a time I could feel the impulses generated by my tongue being converted to wonderful sensation which went over and over my mind endlessly. And we ended up gossiping for two hours before it. I stared at you, wondering how your features could give rise to such cute face. We greeted the cake as an exciting addition, I made a wish, and we waved it goodbye. How much I wish to let you know that for everything you've bought me, there was no overreaction in my response, for everything is made special by you.

Maybe I won't be able to visualize the experiences in vivid colours and relive this day as time passes by, but with each looking back, I shall allow myself to be lost in pieces of memories ~ messages, Secret, birthday cake, one-off chopsticks were my seventeenth birthday.

Four days......in four days' time my destiny will be shaped, my life will change completely and forever,  hopefully positively, my future emerge from behind the shadow... and most of all, my hard work may see approval. It would definitely be one of the biggest days of my entire life and four days is obviously a period of time too fleeting for me to be prepared for the sudden change.  I'm quite certain that on my certificate is either the promise of success or the promise of doom, with nothing in-between. I have been lazy for a while and I know I may suffer as a result; but in the future, there will no longer be a minute wasted in self-indulgence, a second loitered away in pleasure-seeking, so that, in the end, I'd be able to say that I've been through life's ups and downs without regrets.

Suddenly felt like typing something out in xanga to urge myself to end the endless cycle of pledging myself to strive, lazing and pledging myself to strive again for the sake of my future last night. Actually there is much more to say about this summer holiday, both memorable and nightmarish moments, see if I have the time and mood to type them out later.

這個xanga已經好一會沒update了，有幾回嘗試提筆寫點東西，最後都寫不出甚麼來。會考後一直把心機放到唱k，看戲，PS3和溜冰上，竟然撇下了書本和鋼琴; 原已飽受會考摧殘的精神被放縱的生活消耗著，幾近崩潰，到現在終於痛心疾首地發現已無法重拾昔日對文字和音樂的激情。

Grad din 終於也成了歷史，入座前拼命的留影，數年後拿著這夜所拍的相片，找到的會是成長的回憶還是時光飛逝間所留下的唏噓?  席間與Alvin，Ellis，pro chi，Ivan，達達，鄭天驥，Eymon，Matthew同坐，還有一位不速之客; 而當時的我只知道與他們閑談，竟沒想到大家共處的時間遽然只剩下數個小時; 數星期前與友人重返校園，走到上山的一段，身邊每位擦身而過的同學幾乎都不認識; 那時我不禁想~ 才離開了數月，我已然成為這裡的畢業生，這次大概是我最後一次走上這條路，而這條路快要走到盡頭了。我再次投入拔萃的懷抱，環顧四周，竟發現一切都很陌生。兩年前見證了新校舍的落成，還有一些興建中的項目，可惜我來不及細味就要黯然離開。路過昔日的課室時，驀然想起原來已經在這裡待了五年，這五年過得真快，我會好好珍惜在這裡醞釀的每段友誼。

步出華麗的宴會聽時，John Wong輕輕拍了我的肩頭，邀請我與他拍照留念。 我長長的感嘆，心內充斥了往事只能回味的感懷~ 這張相片終於為十三年的同窗生涯留下了最後的回憶。離開酒店後到佐敦唱K直到三時許，直到我們都累透了，才盡興而歸。

21/6

考完了中英口試，會考總算告一段落。 這兩年來把時間都花在pcc、自修室和補習社; 讀著筆記和試卷時，往往有飽受壓力煎熬之感，亦難免早生華髮。考完筆試竟要再苦等數星期，期間承受比筆試更大的壓迫感，感覺很不爽。

p.s. 近日發生連環不幸事件，心情直插谷底~ 從前擁抱的信仰一下子失守了，卻摸不清到底是解脫還是墮落; 感覺有如陷入了無底深潭， 愈掙扎，也就愈不能自拔。

Oh my god what's wrong with my apostrophes...all gone

It has been a while since the CE is over, or almost over. It ends by leaving a flaw to my life. I not sure if I have done well in the exams, sometimes I thought I did but later it  like the end of the world when I discovered I e made mistakes, especially those silly ones. For A Maths, it  gotta be the hardest among ten recent years. Never felt so doomed before, I was lost when the invigilators made the time -up announcement, the moment I have contemplated for so long. This makes me understand the fact that great expectancy comes great disappointment. Now I have to familiarize myself with the sticky end I may suffer so that in the end, every ?A ?I get would be just bonus and I would be prepared for failure. My apology if it bugs you.

My approximate results:

Physics: B

Chinese: level 3

Chemistry: C

Economy: B

English: level 4

Mathematics: B

Religious Studies: D

Biology: C

Additional Mathematics: C

I know I should have updated long ago, but it isn  my laziness that forbids me. Life is just busy, even when everyone else mention having their holidays. Let me see what I gotta do:

Things to learn:

Guitar (Ivan said he would learn with me but end up he jilted meo I am now learning it alone, twice a week, one on one and am making great progress :) )

Piano

French (Will be learning French with Ellis!! It makes me tremble just to think of conducting secret conferences with Ellis and Alvin in a public manner)

Table-tennis (Or there will be no players in A grade)

Others:

Tutor four kids (wasn 't as smooth as expected but they gave positive comments to their moms to my astonishment?what a shame Ie forgotten to take a photo last time)

Be tutored

Teach mommy to play piano (on a $100-per-hour basis, that is something!!)

Read (extensively and hopefully intensively)

Oh by the way I've also written the article for the grad-book, it speaks my heart: