Currently Playing Blue By Third Eye Blind see related

- Farther -

"Sometimes it's more than I can handle. And it's not just me... every single person down there deals with it. If you could hear what they were feeling... Loneliness... the confusion... it looks quiet down there... it's not. It's deafening."

Currently Playing Wicked (2003 Original Broadway Cast) By Stephen Schwartz, Kristin Chenoweth, Idina Menzel see related

well it's been awhile

so i figure what the hell

2004 is pretty much over and it's been the best and most horrific year ever

let's see....

i discovered boys. better late than never.

a couple good ones...but most aren't worth remembering

but that's okay

i drank

like, for the first time and some more

craziness. not necessarily good.

my grades dropped

i discovered kick ass music

such as yellowcard, something corporate, dashboard, etc.

my brother left for college

that's probably the thing i miss the most.

i realized a whole lotta things

i cried some

but i laughed a lot more

i lost a few things

some things that i really miss

but i gained a lot more

i snuck out. i made out. i danced in the rain. i cried my eyes out. i laughed till it hurt. i've been obsessed and depressed. i've made some terrible mistakes that i'm glad i made today. my heart finally isnt dented anymore. my mind is finally free. i don't have any mortal enemies, but i have some true friends. i'm ready for a new town and some new people, but i know that in the end, you come back to the people you had in the beginning.

my priorities kind of did a complete 180 for awhile. and i got them back for the most part. but not completely. i look different, i feel different, i act differently. i believe different things. sometimes i really miss how it used to be but then i ask myself...did i really like it all that much?

the point is i grew up a lot. and i hurt some people along the way, but i also helped some. you take the bad with the good and if you're lucky...you survive.

i did.

thank you God.

Currently Playing Breakaway By Kelly Clarkson see related

Remember when you were younger, and everything seemed so important? Everything was unknown, making it that much scarier. As you get older, you make a lot of mistakes. You hurt people you care about to impress people you dont like. You lie, you cry, you fight people who try to love you, and you run away.  You run far, far away...but you cant run forever. Eventually, youll come back and face your fears, making you a stronger person. Pretty soon, you're not afraid anymore. In gaining this bravery, you lose some vulnerability.  You lose your knocking knees, your sweaty palms. and the butterflies in your stomach. Cherish the butterflies when you have them. They mean you care. Theyre the signal to tell you that youve met someone you connect with and someone you want to be close to. As you get older, you'll come to miss that feeling when you first meet someone. The feeling that everything in the world could mean the world to you. The feeling that you want to throw up or hide in a corner...but in a good way of course. Hold on to the way things used to be. I know they will change, and granted, a lot of things will get better. But there are simple things about the younger years that will always make you reach back. Cherish those butterflies while you have them...dont let them fly away.

Currently Playing Third Eye Blind By Third Eye Blind see related

- How's it gonna be? -

"everything changes eventually. that's just the way life is and you have no control over it. like suddenly, people who you think are always gonna be there, they disappear. people die, and they move away, and...they grow up. everything changes eventually."     ~Joey Potter, Dawson's Creek~

she knows her shit.

i dont see lightning like last fall            

when it was always                                 

about to hit me

Currently Playing Recovering the Satellites By Counting Crows see related

i dont really know why im writing in this thing

because im procrastinating my bullshit homework?

i feel like ive lost so many people

im feeling kind of lost myself

things were so different last year at this time

i was naive to a world of alcohol, loneliness, bad relationships, dishonesty

so lily white...i had my whole life ahead of me

well, i guess i still do

i wish i could just say "fuck everything" and mean it. but i care too much.

that's a blessing and a curse

i need to burn some bridges because this has been going on for too fucking long

it may or may not be what you're thinking of

i hate you

but i love you

i miss you

but i need you gone

i wish it was different

im sorry that this is starting to sound like horrible angsty poetry

i didn't mean for it to

im 18 in exactly one month

maybe cigarettes, porn, and voting will cheer me up

then again, maybe not

keep smiling

but cry in the night if it helps