The trip to Canada ended too soon. I really enjoyed it despite my parents bickering and random whining about everything. I wish that I could have gone with other people though. It would have been awesome if I were with friends or something. The long road trip would have been more fun. the pictures are separated into 3 albums that ive linked throughout the entry.

The drive: long and expensive. We stopped several times in the 8 hours. We woke up at 4 am-ish and hit the road by 5:30am. We got to Niagara Falls by 2 pm. I got about an hour of sleep and I was "co-pilot" for my dad. I tried to be as patient as I can with my dad but it's difficult.

Getting to Ontario was a relief. The ride was finally done! The hotel wasn't the best but it was one of the cheapest. I should have booked a closer hotel but I booked one about 5 minutes from the falls. I didn't realize that there was a lot other places that hotels.com didn't offer. We left the hotel again and went to Clifton Hill where all the happenings were. Parking was crazy expensive, $12 all day, which i suppose isnt bad but whatever. We walked around to figure out where everything was. We stopped at every souvenir shop, lol. Finally, we found Ripley's Believe it or not and boy it was an interesting place. Inside were artifacts of items that represented something that's out of the blue. The fattest man (1000+ pounds), the tallest, the 7 legged yak, the 2 headed bat, the shawl made of turtle shell, the optical illusions, and the dancing/singing dog, the man who had 2 pupils, and another with a horn! It was hard to take in some but its quite enjoyable. It cost $21 for Ripley's and Waxworks but there are other prices depending on which of the 3 Ripley's attraction you want to see. The Louis Taussand Museum was another of my favorite for I went photo crazy. The wax museum had famous celebrity wax look-alikes. lol. Check out my albums: album1 and album2 when you have time. Some of them are silly. tehehe. i have photos with the hottie, harry potter, chatting with oprah, posing with beyonce, groping pamela right beside brad pitt, dancing with austin, and my family have pictures with other celebs. it was a grand old time. lol. i had fun with it but my parents werent all that fun, just "normal."




in the evening, we decided to watch the fireworks on top of the falls. Unfortunately, it didnt start until 1 hour after we got there and it was cold. my mom was freezing so she was getting grouchy. my dad was complaining about my mom not enjoying herself and my sister, tired of taking pictures. lol. i, on the other hand, was enjoying myself. i liked the feeling of being on vacation and seeing a wonder of the world. i tried not to let them ruin it for me. the fireworks finally started but we were farther from the action because standing by the falls we too cold. there was also this stupid asian fobby tourist that stood on a ledge and omg if he fell, we would be on the news. it was horrible. his stupid fobby ass girlfriend kept telling him to videotape the fireworks. ugggh. stupid stupid people. anyway, we left earlier because we wanted to beat the traffic. still, as we drove off, the pedestrians were stampeding in all sorts of directions. ridiculous.

the first night in the hotel...it was ok. its not the "best" as the name implies but whatever. it was a place to keep your clothes, shower, and sleep. i personally am disgusted by hotels, inns, motels, etc because people are ewwwww...in the future, as i go on my future honeymoon, i will be bring my own sheets. im sorry but hotel sheets = nasty. i cring just thinking about it.

i woke up knowing that it was going to be a long day...well i practically planned it so i knew how jam-packed it was going to be. i was still tired from my NOT sleeping the night before. my eyes were so sore and i have no idea how i got my contacts in. Today, our agenda: Maid of the Mist Boat Ride, 1-hour and a half drive to Toronto to see the CN tower, Floral Clock, Butterfly Conversatory, and revisiting Clifton Hill Street. Here we go:

Maid of Mist: album2
The Niagara Falls is definitely a wonder of the world. Just standing there gives you a serene feeling. The sound and rumble of the water and the view of the falls itself is worth the trip. i was exited to board the Maid of the Mist because it was the second closest you can get to the falls. you purchase your ticket for $14.50, walk down a path, take a quick photo in for a green screen for $25, and take the elevator down. You get your poncho (cheap blue plastic bag with the words maid of the mist) and walk to the port. I, of course, put the raincoat on while walking -> multitasker. the boat looks like its been through many years of wear and tear but still obviously safe. people pushed and shoved to get ot the side for the best view and i was one of them. i come to find that japanese tourist are probably the craziest of all that i encountered on the boat. i was pushed by 2 japanese men and a japanese lady. >< vicious. lol. my mom was scared so she stayed in the middle with my dad. as the boat started, my heart pounded faster and faster as we got closer to the falls. there are two different falls, the "American Falls" and the "Canadian Horseshoe Falls."



i found the horseshoe more appealing and was most excited for that. with my handy dandy waterproof camera (which i recommend buying a disposable one if you dont have a real one) we have pictures of us while the boat floated near the falls. the american falls were alright and we didnt get as wet. approaching the horseshoe...everyone had their digital cameras out and when we got close OMG we got drenched! lucky for me ---> WATERPROOF, bitches! woot. im a good planner. i havent seen the pictures yet but i hope they turned out. the horseshoe falls was amazing! no matter where you stoof, there were falls everywhere...well, except behind you. it was almost like standing in the rain and would be quite a romantic place to be. if you do go, the wonder doesnt last long so snap your pictures fast and then savor the moment. bring a hat (that youre willing to drench), wear shorts/capris, slippers (that easily dry), sunblock, and i wore sunglasses also and of course, a waterproof camera. fyi: if your parents or other relatives are "kill joys" -> not going to be as fun as it should be mine...tolerable  that day but my dad would not stop taking pictures. we should have bought 2 cameras because it was a pain to trade off. if the boat didnt stop, i would have missed the falls due to: "LJ, TAKE A PICTURE." "LJ SMILE"  "LJ, PICTURE, PICTURE!" omg. my sister got so annoyed. i guess it coudl have worst, i suppose. the boat ride ends with a stampeded of people trying to get off. again, another japanese lady cut of my mom  by pushing her. lol. ridiculous. as we exited, we took the plastic off and walked to the elevator. you end up outside the souvenir shop almost forcing you to spend more money because you want a memorabilia of the one of the best thigns you have seen. fortunately, ive been so cheap lately that i bought this cute lunchbox, postcards, and some things for phil. the picture cost $25 for 2 8x11s so it wasnt too bad. i would totally come back again. my biggest regret of niagara falls was NOT going behind the falls. my parents did not want to do it so i missed it. i really wanted to walk behind the water because those would have been awesome pictures.



Toronto: album2
i wish i stayed longer because it sounds more exciting than what i had experienced. the drive from niagara falls to toronto was 1 hour, 30 minutes but there is traffic due to construction. the ride wasnt painful but it did remind me of things to ac from my house. the view was mostly highway with occassional body of water to teh right. Toronto was like NYC in that there were lots of buildings within close proximity. there seemed to be less cars but it was a saturday of course. we parked near the Rogers Centre for about $9 all day and walked aroudn for a bit. the CN (Canada Nation) Tower was massive and is the tallest building in the world.



there are 4-5 things to do. if you ate at their overpriced-overlooking-toronto restaurant, it was free to go up and do everything. however, if youre cheap like us, then we only got to do two things, go up to the observatory and see the glass floor for $23 a person. before the ride up, another photo op place that cost anotehr $23 but $26 when you use US dollars for an 8x11 and 2 wallet size. you go through this bizarre airblowing security system then to the line of the elevator...long. the elevator ride was cool...going 15 mph and it took 58 seconds to get up to teh top. you get to the top and the view is beautiful. it was pretty cloudy though and i heard that during the week, its even busier. more like 4 hour waits...>< we didnt have to wait fortunately. the city of toronto looked soooo small and busy. it was reminessent of my empire state building experience except indoors. lol. you go around and theres actually another place to eat...much cheaper than the expensive one upstairs. we got distracted so we missed it. we took more official but "extreme" pictures in front of the green screen. lol. photoshop is crazy. we then went downstairs to see the fuse over the glass floor. omg. it was so scary. i managed to get 2 pictures in while sitting on the glass floors. i thought i would be able to gather courage to go to the middle but i didnt >< we went outside for another look then back upstairs to look at our extreme photo. lol. we ended up eating at this kiosk but the sandwiches...not soo good.  since nothing was open on saturdays in toronto, we went back to niagara falls.

Floral Clock:
Along river road aka nf parkway, there are several things to do but youll need a car or tourbus if youre like me...lazy. lol. the floral clock was sort of lame because its just a huge clock with the background of flowers. it changes every season apparently. its a place to have a picnic but other than that, its nothing. its free but bring a picnic basket.

Butterfly Conservatory: album3
This was another place i had my heart set on. it cost $11 a person but its only worth it if youre a nature person. its a small place but you can stay as long as you want. you really cant touch the butterflies but if youre lucky, like my sister, they land on you. some butterflies were normal looking but some were gorgeous. i took lots of pictures and a video of my sister and her butterfly, who stayed on her for 7 minutes. there was also a botannical garden thats free of charge. if we had more time, i would have gone out to explore.



The rest of the night was just us doing last minute shopping for souvenirs but it was pretty hectic because of time constraints.  we parked at 2 hours parking for $2 on the street so we were in a hurry. i got back to the hotel knowing that the next day is filled with another 8 hours of driving. the drive was quiet this time but my dad was speeding like crazy. we saw 6 lamborginis in a row. haha. it was kinda amazing because that many expensive cars on the road...dangerous. haha.

after this trip, i decided to write down some recommendations for those planning on going to canada or any road trips:
1. GPS. get one because our tomtom saved us from a detour disaster.
2. comfy shoes.
3. research and know what you want to do. this will make your lives easier and the trip less stress and more fun as it should be. clifton hill or victoria ave is the best place to get a hotel esp. if you want to just walk to places.
4. long drives = need $$ and more drivers. gas prices are insane in canada. it says 1.33 but its PER LITER not GALLON. converting it... 1 gal = $5+ in canada. if you can, bring your own food. rest stops are expensive ><
5. know conversions and when in canada, exchange your usd to canadian $ because in some places they dont take any bills bigger than $20. also, they add more money if you use usd....and they give you canadian money back for change regardless of how you pay. if you have a credit card, thats better because no questions asked and no hassle, unless of course youre past your limit. taxes are also insane in canada.
6. eating in canada: expensive so be prepared with money. its about $1-3 more for regular fastfood restaurants and its even worst with the more fancier ones.
7. make sure you have extra batteries or bring your charger. youll need it.
8. parking: again expensive but usually all day unless youre parking in the street.
9. american cellphones: verizon worked in niagara falls but went into roaming mode once we left niagara to go to toronto. buy a phonecard in case.
10. weekends in canada are meant for rest and some businesses close early or not open at all, especially if you leave niagara falls. if you go away from the tourist spots, youre probably too late. shopping malls/outlets close at 6pm on saturdays and sundays, forget bout it. 

i decided to open up a blogspot because its this generation's xanga. however, by no means does this mean i'm giving up on my xanga but instead will be copy and pasting my entries. lol.

lately, ive been suffering from senioritis. its not that i dont care, its just hard to concentrate. i want to do my work but i get around to it and then, bam!, there goes my concentration. i havent been motivated either...it is april after all. i hope next year i dont get 'super-senioritis' because that's the year that determines what my next step is.

im quite hopeful for next year. although i mentioned in the past that ive been scared, im less scared now. i know i can do it but its a matter of self-control. that is my goal this summer: to manage my self-control. i need to discipline myself to doing my work, all my work, early so i can have fun later. i need to not procrastinate. this is quite the battle for most students...lets see if i can overcome it.

recently, phil and i started this whole "what are you unthankful and thankful for today?" i have to say its proving to be helpful in our relationship. we usually end on a good note before he sleeps for school the next day. im glad i came up with this idea..just another way to keep our relationship healthy. btw, we finally reached our 3 year mark. were still as in love as before...or maybe more in love. we definitely know that the both of us want to grow old together. ^_^ sappy, i know. sooo his car's engine blew up and screwed up his car so we got him a rental. haha. its a manly car. lol.

school life is going pretty good, ups and downs. if i bring myself to study even just a little for finals, i may actually get on dean's list this semester. its always something i wanted to do but with senioritis standing in my way, its hard to refuse procrastination over doing work. >_<

as for the dramas of my friendships/acquaintances, funny how life always ends up in the right place but not during the right time. some minor incidents came about but i think they're on their way of getting solved. it pains me to know some of the things i know/encountered but i guess that's life. we have to learn to deal with the things that are thrown at us...its difficult but we have to catch it and throw it back, or something. haha. idk where that was going. lol. anyway, i am better than usual.

my home life...still the same. every now and then i get crap from them and it ends up going in a circle. HOWEVER! i wont go too much into detail because im in a good mood. im sure youll come back someday to read more about this part.

in the car i had a realization. i know why i enjoy it when phil tells me that he's going to give me something, even though it ruins the surprise. the answer: my parents. they say that your parents usually mess you up from the start and its true. almost seven years of making promises to take me to Disney world and here I am 21 going to 22 and nothing. i have yet to experience the different cultural sections of Epcot. While some kids complained that they already been to Disney world, I get empty promises. Not even a new car or a coach purse can make up for this. its not even going to Disney, its everything else. they always promise me things but never follow through. mom can i buy this...maybe later when you get straight As. pa can we go to six flags...next weekend. pa can we play badminton outside...after we mow the lawn because there might be a snake out there. they always say we deserve things because we're "good" girls but i think after i failed, i haven't heard it. sad isnt it? for those who ive told my sad tale to or experienced it (-cough-eileen-cough-), you are the ones who truly understand my pain. i like hearing this from phil because my mind is used to it. it craves the promises regardless of the outcome. it craves the temporary happiness from the fantasies that my mind creates from the excitement. then...it never happens and thus, im disappointed. to my mind it doesnt matter whether it happens, i get much satisfaction from the fantasies. >_< as a kid, fantasies are acceptable but to adults, people will just think youre sick. no not fantasies like that...but sorta like "daydreaming" about how it would be like to go to disney and such. cant wait until i go.

i spend hours talking to them about how i wish i had freedom. i wish i can go out...at least once a week. im not asking for much. my parents wont even give me that. i already know what they'll say. "why do you need to go out with them?" "theyre only your friends...you know, your friends can be your worst enemies. only your family will stay with you forever." its unbelievable they say these kinda things to me expecting me not to tell my friends this. lol. losers. unlike them, i have friends who i would like to keep around and know forever. i know i always have family but friends are different. they give different perspectives and bring new things into your life. i guess my parents never found true friends because they're always guarding themselves from finding those awesome friends. i mean, my dad was forced to hangout with his brothers and sisters plus cousins only in their compound in the PI. pathetic. my grandpa set up a horrible foundation for his children to raise their children. pssh. who keeps their kids locked away? my dad does.

i feel even worst for my sister because she doesn't really do anything thats against my parents' rules. in fact, shes smart and she was valdictorian...you know she did that for my parents and not really for herself. maybe like 25% of the effort was for herself and the 75% was for my mom and dad and their continuous pressuring for us to do well. its such a shame that she has to go through this bs like i do. ive put up with this for nearly 22 years and she only 19...but we have so many more years to go.

today phil told me..."it was a nice day" i replied, "i didnt get to enjoy it. i was inside the house." thinking about this quote makes me think about how pathetic my life is. i cant even enjoy nature...stuff that's readily outside...just outside, i dont even have to leave the premises. :(

again in the car...a couple things happened.
1. i asked to go to 7-11 to withdraw money...somehow it got to me not being able to save money. i told my dad i got it from him which was probably a bad thing to say. he was like, if you got it from me, dont copy it. pssh. thats easier said than done. then he brought up how if i keep doing that, we'll never be able to buy a house. always depending on me to do that. again no one really understands this but yes, thats the chip on my shoulder: to buy a house for my parents. most parents buy a house for their family buutttt im an exception. i have to buy the house for them. i practically have to pay for their mistakes. its not my fault i didnt save money for a house because i thought id bring my family home to the PI where my kids would have a massive culture shock. how one-track-minded could one be?
2. on the way home...
'mom pa, when you going to mystique?'
 'the earlier show'
'ok, sunday then.'
....2 minutes later.
'eileen are you an officer?'
'no pa im only a member.'
'good, dont be an officer. lj arent you an officer?'
mumbles 'not really, i just take pictures.'
'yah next year you shouldnt be an officer. no more of that. study. you need to graduate....(something in tagalog)'

wow. every-fucking-time. everytime and anytime they can get me alone they like to slap me with the fact that im not graduating. always!!!!!! fuck them. im sorry im stupid. im sorry i had other priorities. im sorry. i already told them that and yet they can forgive me. unforgiving. :( ill never hear the end of it. even after i graduate im gonna hear..."finally! see because you studied more...blah blah blah." they will never be happy nor satisfied with how i live my life. even after i buy them a stupid house they will say to me 'oh see, because you saved money we can buy a house. see how it feels like to have our OWN house.' meeehhhhh. if they werent so blah with money before, they would have thought this through and came up with solutions and not depend on their eldest to give them this gift. also, they dont even consider the fact that im getting married. maybe thats their fear...fear that ill get married before ill buy them a house so they continue to badger me about buying one asap. their scared that ill leave them in the dust. pssh. i wont because ill feel guilty. i lose either way. since i was little they pounded the fact that they made me, they sacrificed a lot for me and therefore, i owe them. wow huh? youre probably so speechless about that or you probably have a lot to say to counter that. yaaaa. me too. i think its messed up that they told me that. now i feel guilty if i dont buy them a house because i feel like i "owe" them. i fucking "OWE" them. wtf. i shouldnt owe them anything because if they didnt want to go through all the sacrifices, they didnt have to have me or my sister. they could have stayed married with no children and keep their money to themselves so they can afford a house and all the other luxuries of life. i know when i have children, i would never tell them they owe me...unless they actually borrow money and tell me they would pay me back. lol. i am not going to bring them into this world just so they can "owe" me anything. ill have them because i want to have children to raise, have fun with, and bring new awesome people into this world.

this is why im so disgruntled and angry inside and therefore outside.

i know despite all this, my parents are only doing this because "they care for me." i understand their positions, i understand where they come from, i understand why i have to suffer through my pain. they should stop and understand that their hurting me in the process of their "caring."

so brings me to my title...i wish i was 30. when im 30, ill be married, out of the house that ill STILL be paying, living with phil in our own house, and doing whatever the hell we want to.