1. Accept that you will have to do a great deal of chasing, especially if you messed up the relationship the first time around. You will have to pull your ego in check and put your heart on the line if you are to make any progress.
2. Don’t expect him to come running back to you just because you are putting out signals that you want him again. You want him back and you need to do the work. Call him, text him, come to him and make him feel wanted. It is the only way.
3. Expect some rejection. When an old flame starts heating up again the person being pursued may try to get out of the fire. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he isn’t interested. It could mean that he is spooked. He may be weary of trying to be with you again out of a fear of more hurt or he may be in another relationship and his heart may be torn (in which case expect more resistance than you would experience under other circumstances). For whatever reason people rarely rush back into an ex’s arms right away. Be diligent, expect some resistance and be aware that in this endeavor your ego is going to get some bruises.
4. Know when to give up. This is not so much indicated by the amount of time that has passed as it is an accurate reading of his true feelings. Your instincts are your best friend in this; they rarely lead you astray. Instincts often tell a truth the heart is unwilling to accept. Listen to him, listen to your gut and back off if one or both are adamantly telling you to.
5. Be willing to settle for less. Be willing to have him in your life as a friend even if he won’t be your boyfriend. There are lots of reasons why a guy who cares for you will keep his distance after a breakup even when you are sending out all the right signals and it isn’t always as simple as him not wanting to be with you. Accept that (for now) friendship is all he has to offer you and then truly be his friend. Nothing is set in stone when it comes to love and things often feel over when they really aren’t. Sometimes the greatest loves are built on strong friendships and you can never know what the future will bring.

This has been one of the hardest weeks ever.. Which I've had more than once before.

First semester for school is over, and finals blew me away. Psychology didn't go as well as planned, but you know, whatever. I got a B. I'm still waiting on my Biology final, which is stressful. No matter what happens, I won't let it get me down. I've been working a ton this week. It's been good money for Christmas.

Now, for what's really on mind. I have no doubt in my mind that I want to spend my entire life with him. I [personally] think I'm being a trooper throughout this. I am giving him space, and let me tell you, it really does feel like this is the end.. And I know I say that every time. Maybe, however, this time I DO realize that we almost always end up back at square one. I have 14 days until I see him for dinner, unless he chooses to see me before than when I am in town. Nevertheless, I am so proud of him for standing up for himself. I'll put him before me when I need to, and right now that is a must.

I love Josh. I really do.. but there's just so much more that makes it too hard. Poor guy :(

I've been working really hard on my diet.. I'm down about 10 lbs, give or take the normal fluctuation. Trying really hard to get under 165, and I'm almost there! I want to just binge eat so bad sometimes, but I know I have a stronger drive to why I'm trying to lose this weight. To gain control back. That sums it up.

I'll try my hardest to stay positive throughout these Holidays. I need a good dosage of my girls too.. I miss them!

XOXO

Football Sunday!

Well, it's been a hectic weekend. Or maybe just stressful.

Finals are in full swing. I've made it through my Sociology and Math finals. I know the result of my math final, and I got a 92% in the class. It's fair enough for me, even though a 93% would have given me that 4.0 edge. Oh well, it's first semester- can't expect much more. Sociology, well I missed an applied list on the test. But as Katie and Steph have both said, the class is over and much more can't be done. I'll expect a B in the class. Tomorrow morning is my Biology final. That will be the BIG toughie. So I think I'll get back to studying soon!

As well as finals, Cameron and I went the weekend without talking. He didn't do anything, just got drunk. Which, in my opinion, is a small set back for him, but it's understandable as well. He didn't get drunk on his 21st birthday and hasn't drank much at all since he left his house. He asked me, nicely, if we could stop talking for awhile [so he could get some focus on his life]. I'm not going to throw up a fight, frankly, I think it might relieve some stress from my shoulders as well. I'll just miss talking to him.. even though I'm sure we will be talking soon.

Last, it IS football sunday!! We are playing the Rams, so it should be a good day. They are 3-10. BUT, have won those last 3 out of their last 5 games. Anyhow, the game is in the first half and I'm just relaxing! It will be a "stay-at-home" day.. watching football and studying for Biology.

=D I'm very calm..

XOXO to all!

2 Years Later...

I can't believe it has been over two years since I wrote in this.. I can't even believe I found it! And to think, a lot of us stopped writing in them around the same time. I wonder if that was when we all transferred to Myspace. I miss this kind of stuff, and I'm glad it's still around to read. Blogging.. those were the good days. Haha =D And not Myspace blogging.

Anyway. Maybe I'll start keeping this updated. I should surely get a new picture and update some stuff, but who knows when that will happen. Finals are about to kick my butt, full on... but, you know, whatever. They come and go, twice every year, and that's just how it is. My biggest goal is to pass Biology.

I really do love Boulder. I enjoy the new life I have and all the new challenges and opportunities. I even love the people I work with. It's a win-lose situation. I miss my family and friends.. Aye. I can hardly picture the future anymore, I have no idea what to expect. I've been trying to picture the future for my entire life, but maybe I should start living in the now.

Christmas is pretty close too =D hurray!